how,on God's green earth, do you NOT feed to sleep?!

[maltatheterrible]

help me please, dd has been demand breatsfed from birth, as a newborn she would have a big feed of milk - then go to sleep.
and this pattern has carried on and now she is 11 months and i am the only person who can put her to sleep.

A few weeks ago one MNer blithely stated "oh, i never fed or rocked mine to sleep" and through the jealous rage i wondered how you just "don't"???

i need answers so i can get this right with baby no2 please

yep, both sides, and she wasn't even biting - just messing about and sucking really hard with her jaws only open a tiny bit so my soft skin got ripped over razor sharp baby teeth, i thank god she stopped doing it because i was crying whilst latching her on - and she won't take a bottle so i was really worried for a while

i was a bit smug about establishing feeding so easily when she was tiny - so that must have been karma smacking me on the head!

and ditto on the sleeping front - dd is RUBBISH at sleeping

good job she's so cute or I'd sell her to some gypsies

Yes, we have occasionally considered the gypsy option but the floppy blonde hair and big blue eyes gets us every time...

I can remember getting reallyupset a few times when ds wouldn't let go and had too many teeth for me to successfully break the suction by putting a finger in his mouth. I used to feel almost panicky that I wouldn't be able to get him off. This is not so long ago actually. At the moment I have him waking up in the night and coming into our bed - so always wants a feed. Would rather he didn't, but will just ride it out for now. Quite cute when he gets into bed too.

malta I didn't want to feed mine to sleep as such because I didn't want to have to feed them during the night because they wanted that comfort for me, night times feeds were because they are hungry IME. DD2 also sleeps like an absolute log and always has done, was never fed to sleep. In my logic if your baby is always fed to sleep then when they wake up in the night they are going to find it alien to try and get to sleep without being fed to sleep IYSWIM. Mine all turned into early thumb/finger suckers so preumably when they stir during the night they stick their thumb/fingers in and go back to sleep they all love their comfort rabbit/dog too - that's their sleep association.

Honestly I think the longest I spend with mine doing PUPD with mine was probably 10 minutes at stretch probably because they were so young at the time so had less of an association to break!

I don't mind the fact that bfing is about comfort as well as food. Think it's rather nice.

yes I agree but not when I read about all those mums getting 4/5 times per night when their baby is 5-18 months old I think Poor them!

Yes I agree it isn't for everyone but as I say, if you regard everything as a phase that will pass, you can ride it out and even appreciate the pleasurable side.

i am stuck firmly between the two schools of thought ( dead decisive me!) - i love providing comfort for her, but when she was waking for milk every half an hour from midnight til morning it was too much for me

fortunately at 9 months she started eating some proper ammounts of food so the sleep has improved...slightly

also just to reassure you I did sometimes let them fall asleep on me, if they were ill, if they were overtired and I was out and about (often in the middle of the church sermon as it coincided with the 11am feed) I just wanted them to be able to fall asleep easily on their own. Perhaps it's because I have insomnia phases, am a very light sleeper, can't sleep in strange places etc etc I wanted to encourage my dc to have healthier/happier sleeping habits than me.

Also I had evening appts at the hospital from dd2 birth so once a week I wasn't there to put her to bed plus in those days only 4 months mat leave so had to go back to work - all of these meant I couldn't rely on my feeding her as her only means of sleep association and comfort. Getting dd2 to take a bottle was traumatic, next time around I then made sure that they had a bottle of ebm every few days from very young to make sure they would. You see you always learn something that you consider doing differently next time........

Sometimes it helps to forget schools of thought, parenting guides and relatives opinions and just go with your instincts... or is that just another school of thought?!

Absolutely, instincts are fantastic and you'll trust them more 2nd (3rd, 4th) time around.

Less guilt inducing too!

DD used to fall asleep feeding and I'd stress about it thinking she was learning bad habits etc. She learnt to put herself to sleep quite early in the end, although she did have a dummy.
DS on the other hand, has never once fallen asleep feeding and I wish he bloody would! I realise now how easy I had it with DD! He has such terrible wind that he screams in pain after every feed, we spend ages winding him and then he cries cos he is overtired. Have tried most things including putting him down to self settle and he just screams himself into a frenzy. I was determined I'd have a baby like Twiglett describes this time round but it wasn't to be-the only way to get him to sleep is to put him in the sling and walk up and down-luckily he will then be transferred to his crib no problems. He is still only four weeks though so early days...

I'm almost the opposite. DD always falls asleep at the breast but I have never been able to move her into her crib or basket without waking her so she doesn't actually go down asleep, but I wish she would sometimes! It does mean that many an afternoon is spent on the sofa with a sleeping baby on me coz I just need her to sleep!

Don't be sorry, and you're not hassling me! I'm talking about my daughter, believe me I could go on for years...

No, she never took a bottle. We just never got around to buying them and trying them. She went straight from boob to normal cup. Because she was still breastfed long after we'd introduced solid food, she was used to drinking water and occasional fruit juice from a cup with meals anyway. She now also has a few sippy cups which are useful for when she's pottering at home or we're out and about.

well, breastmilk contains substances to induce sleep

this is what breastfeeding is meant to do, relax the baby and help them to sleep

wasking up a baby who has just fallen asleep at the breast is bloody WEIRD

why would you do that?

Broocoli - thank you, i am feeling so much better now, we are trying a cup but she just gets drenched and i have to change her so i am lazy and probably don't offer it as often as i should

franny - waking them up does sound crazy, but maybe it's because they were asleep on mum, waking up somewhere else seems awful so they shout for you to c0me and reassure them - weheras if you wake them slightly they remember that they fell asleep in the cot/moses basket so don't feel alarmed

or maybe that's crap and if they're going to shout, they shout

I fed all three of mine to sleep and then gently put them into moses basket or cot, when I stopped bf I carried on doing it with the bottle. They just gradually moved on from being asleep to just being sleepy to calm over a period of months. The first time I believed what the books at the time said ie. that she'd never learn to go off to sleep by herself and was wracked with guilt. It wasn't true. All of mine where great sleepers and still are as much older children.

My ds (5) still climbs onto my lap in the same position as when I held him as a baby if he's tired. I think its rather lovely, but I don't suppose he'll do it for much longer.