Sleep training bad first night, should I continue

[rayray246]

If you don't believe in sleep training please don't comment.

I did my first night last night and feel totally broken today. My DS was up for 1.5 hours last night and that was 1.5 hrs of me going in and out of the room shhhing and comforting him. I ended up giving him a few sips of water still in the cot as he just wouldn't fall back to sleep. This did help. But then he woke up at 5.30am anyway!

The reason for doing it was because of his early wake ups usually around 5am. I believed it was caused by his last feed as he would wake like clock work exactly two hours after his last feed. For example 3am feed = wake up 5am.

I'm looking for some solidarity really and anyone have a first bad night like this and whether I should continue? I'm not entirely confident this will help his early morning wake ups anyway but feel like I've tried everything else.

1.5 hours sounds fairly encouraging to me! I’m pregnant with first, so not an experienced mum by any means. But, we intend to sleep train, and I think 1.5 hours and a 5am start is fairly reasonable as a first attempt OP. I say well done you!

1.5 hours is a pretty good first night, and you'll have to stick with it for a week-10 days to see an improvement.

No, don't continue.

How old is your DS and what is his sleep routine day and night?

Early waking is usually due to early bed time, too much day time sleep or the first nap being too early.

Hello! We sleep trained my three so I'm with you.

My first dc was a nightmare sleeper and after 6 months we were on our knees. We'd tried everything, the slow retreat, patting and shhing etc. In the end, we put her to bed at 7pm (bath/bedtime routine estsblished) and we just left her. She cried for over an hour then went to sleep. 2nd night she cried for 40 mins. 3rd night, 15 mins and 4th night less than 5 mins.

She would also wake up at 3am which she still did but we also left her and actually within 5 mins she went straight back to sleep.

She's 10 now and only wakes up in the night if she's really unwell.

Couple of thoughts - yes persevere. We found any method that meant you had to go in and out just prolonged everything. You don't say how old your dc is so maybe they still need feeding at night? If so try and work this into

Your routine!

1.5 hrs is really good (don’t know how old your Das is though). It took a solid week of gradually reducing contact before DD slept through but then it was like a switch flipped and she just fell asleep by herself perfectly. Even when she was turning 2 and we were starting toilet training (in preparation for pre school and had to be totally toilet trained back then) we would take her a dream wee when we went to bed and she would just go straight back to sleep. Secret for us was to make sure she never got overtired so regular bedtime and probably early by today’s standards but she slept 12 hours a night.

I agree that for a first night that's on track and now you've ' broken the seal' you'll have made significant progress already and if you stop now you will lose that instantly.

Accept that the next 3 nights will be terrible but by Weds you should see an improvement.

However, I do agree that in our experience early waking needed us to sort out daytime routine / sleep and also, counterintuitively an earlier bedtime. The idea is that we all sleep / wake in cycles. Currently DC cycle finishes at 5.30 am - they stir, it's getting light etc so they wake fully.

You want it to finish at 4.30am so they go back into another sleep cycle before waking properly.

That plus making sure they were well rested at the right time in the day.

Plus then we sleep trained that very early wake up but it was much easier I think.

@thebabynanny I cap his daytime sleep to around 3 - 3.5 hours. If he wakes at 5am then he usually has two half hour naps in the morning say around 7am and then 9-9.30. Then I Take him out usually in the pushchair for a longer nap 1.5-2 hours mid afternoon around 11-12. Depending when he wakes up sometimes he has a small nap of anything between 10-30 mins around later in the afternoon. I make sure though there is a 2.5-3 hr wake window from last nap till bedtime. I've tried bedtime at 7.30 and bedtime at 7. We've gone back to 7am so he can have more time to self settle and be asleep before I put Daughter to bed.

He's woken up early since he was born, I use to rock him or cosleep in the early months at this time but now I've stopped. I guest it could be an expectation now that's why I thought the sleep training could help?

How old he is makes all the difference in the responses I'd imagine!

Sorry everyone he's 6 months. I dream fed him at 11 also

How old is lo? I can't see if you mentioned it.

Nothing wrong with sleep training, and it gets worse before it gets better. As someone said give it 7 to 10 days and reevaluate.

He's 6 months

Babies at 6 months should wake in the night, although there will be some exceptions. It's a life preservation skill - they still have small stomachs that need food regularly, and night waking helps regulate their breathing and prevent SIDs. Early wakes of 5am are just a phase they nearly all go through at some point. Personally I wouldn't continue sleep training as I think your baby is too young but obviously you do you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sleep trained mine from about that age (had them in the days of 6 month maternity leave). 1.5 hours sounds quite normal. My only warnings are that it’s not a one and done thing (illness or holidays usually meant a few days of going back to it again) and nothing stopped one of mine from waking at 6am. She’s an adult now and still gets up early.

Hello! Currently doing Ferber with my 11 month old, we are 3 days in (we skipped it one day as he had diarrhea). Still fed to sleep but first night first wakening took 20 minutes, second night took 47 minutes, third night took 28 minutes but each wakening has been pushed back later in the night. Going back to yesterday, he went down at 10, up at 12 (settled himself in 2 minutes) up at 3 took the 28 minutes that I mentioned, and then up at 7, this is where I got in and tried to boob him to sleep but failed. @Okbutnotgreat did yours sleep through 12 hours immediately? I don't know whether this will happen naturally with mine or whether he just doesn't need that much sleep, although when we were co-sleeping he would go nearer 11 hours with 1 nap but this means we have to do 2...

If anybody else has any tips on getting him to sleep longer I'd love to know

I read somewhere that if you want a baby to sleep a little longer in the morning you can try pushing back nap number 1 so maybe a little later than 7? Good luck with it all

Yes, persevere. It’s worth it.

@rayray246 we did sleep training at 6 months. Waking every 2 hours was killing me.

It didn't solve early mornings. The only way I found was combination of things to stop early mornings.

At 5am, I would not get my lo up. I did everything to keep lo asleep. Even cuddling to sleep. Staying in their room and not leaving room. I did feed but then that was my lo only feed overnight. And was interim feed.

That morning nap needs to 9am for 1 hour only.

1230pm back to sleep, with a full belly. For as long as they liked. I didn't cap this one. The 3rd nap I did it about 430pm or 5pm for 45 mins. No later then 515pm to 530pm. Then i put lo to bed about 8pm. To encourage the later wake ups, which definitely happened.

Making sure room and all of upstairs completely blacked out. White noise to stop those pesky birds to stop waking my lo.

This did help for us. Any changes to routine can take up to 3 weeks for their internal clock to reset.

If you're putting him to bed at 7 or 7.30 then 5.30 is fine as a wake time. Some babies will sleep for 12 hours but lots will only ever do 10 or 11 at night.

If you want him to sleep past 6am, then I'd make bedtime 8pm. Then just one nap in the morning at 8ish.

What kind of sleep training are you doing? Are you trying to get him to fall asleep alone, or night weaning him?