5.5 month old is torturing me

[UKmumtobe]

He just won't sleep. He's waking me every 1-2 hours in the night. The only thing that will settle him is me feeding him. I hate doing this but I am so so exhausted I don't have the energy to do anything else.

It's getting to the point where I don't see the point in going to bed at 9pm as he's just going to wake me up anyway at 9:30. Then 11, then 12:30 etc etc. This goes on until 5amish when I am just so exhausted I bring him into the bed with me then he will sleep attached to my nipple until 6:30/7.

His naps are a shit show too. He won't sleep in his cot and has to be rocked in the pram or taken for a walk. Every. Single. Day. I have a toddler to look after too who is not getting the attention she needs.

I feel like the only answer is to sleep train him but leaving him to cry gives me such anxiety I feel sick and wobbly and can't leave him longer than 5 mins. And by that point he's covered in sweat. ,

Please does anyone have any help for me, I'm just in such a mess? I feel hopeless, with no energy, I don't want to socialise with anyone anymore. My husband and I barely talk as I'm so tired when he gets in from work. This has been going on for nearly 6 months.

I don't understand how so many mum's say their baby settled themselves and sleeps through the night. I must be doing something wrong.

You're not going anything wrong. He's. A baby and when he wakes up, he needs you.
Have you considered cosleeping? You may find you get lots more quality sleep that way.
I put my daughter into her own cot until her first wake up, then she comes in with me. The wake up got gradually later and later until now she sleeps in her cot til 6am (at 8 months).
Not the recommended technique but it worked for me! Absolutely no stress involved at all but I do understand all babies are different. You're doing an amazing job.

This was a low point with me for my first child, and I did end up sleep training at 6m. I counted down the days. It was quick and did the job. I have mixed feelings about it looking back because it's such a loaded issue. But at the time I couldn't cope anymore.

I don't think you're doing anything "wrong". Mine slept beautifully til around 4 months. He's seven months now and he wakes every two hours through the night and I also feed to sleep.

I'm going with it for now and when he takes his two hour afternoon nap it's on me and we both sleep but I don't have the struggle you have with another child to look after.

I know a lot of mums who have handed over night wakings to their partners for a week and their babies sleep through now. They've all done it somewhere around the 8 month to 1 year mark.

I get upset at the crying too but I hear their success stories and I am thinking about it. I'm going to see how we go for now but I am seriously considering it.

He's also crawling, standing and climbing now and never stops bloody moving so I'm also wondering if he needs more stimulation. We attend a lot of baby groups but I think I'm going to start swimming with him too. Hopefully that will help.

Babies wake up in the night and need their mums. If you go to bed when they do you should be able to get enough sleep even if you're waking up every couple of hours.

Respectfully, I don't agree with @cho

Oops. I don't agree with the post above. Getting up every hour or so you don't get to complete enough sleep cycles. You can't get to sleep instantly when you're child does. Second child you can't nap in the day. It's not sustainable.

A dummy and Co sleep. My son was just like this, guess what? He eventually gave up a dummy and Co sleeping, but right now, that's probably what he you both need. A 5 moth old baby needs mum.

Thank you everyone for replying

Sadly he would never take a dummy and I don't want to introduce one now

Cosleeping is just not for me I get quite uncomfortable and I don't sleep that much better. He just wants my boob all night too so when we get up for the day he's not hungry at all and I have no idea how much milk he had over night! And husband and I haven't shared the bed since he was born and I really want to change this :(

I totally get that baby needs me and I definitely want to meet his needs but I'm on my knees with his waking and losing my mind. I'm anxious all the time about sleep. My evenings are ruined because I spend up to 2 hours trying to feed or rock him to sleep then within an hour he's up crying and then it just goes on and on all night.

He doesn't have reflux or anything - I think it's become habit. He wants my nipple to go to sleep and a bit of milk even though he's not hungry.

Is there any form of gentle sleep training?

If I could just reach him to self settle I'd be much happier - I sit in a dark room every night trying to put him in bed and it can go on for ages. Putting him down, him crying, I feed again, I wait, I put him down, he cries, I pick up and rock, put him down, he cries, I feed him and wait and sit for a while.... this can't be my life for the next year!

He's EBF no bottles. I'm considering switching to formula but not sure how to at this stage and if I should use a bottle or sippy cup?

Does anyone have any fool proof routines for 5.5/6 month olds who ARENT sleepy baby's who can self settle?

Thanks xx

I hear you when you say you don’t want to introduce a dummy now - but if it helped him - and you - sleep, might it not be the lesser of two evils?

OP I am in the exact same situation as you bar this is my first baby.

I went through the same struggle at 3m of trying to put her in the cot in the evenings only for her to wake 30mins later, I almost had a breakdown. I had reached out to a sleep consultant who coached me through some sleep shaping, but bar getting baby to sometimes self settle for the first Nap of the day nothing else has worked. So I gave up trying ,and bar nap 1, instead of rocking shushing and all that other exhausting stuff, I now feed to sleep for every nap unless out in the pram and I co sleep...i think you should try revisiting this as an option if possible, try propping yourself with a pillow behind your back and adjusting your self...it might hopefully gain you a wee bit more sleep than what you're currently getting.

Finally, sending a big solidarity hug xxx

Unfortunately they're still so young so wake up and want you/milk.

I would second trying a dummy - there's so many different types. Mine only liked tommee tippee and refused all others.

Other option is could you offer bottles in the night instead? (BM or formula if you combo feed), so then maybe your partner could do some night feeds too and your LO might start to learn to get to sleep without you? And you will hopefully be able to get more rest!

IF it's not hungry or needs a change there is no real reason it needs you. Yes it might want to hang out with you so to speak but it won't yet understand that you also need sleep and need to get up fresh for work.

Leave the baby to cry, it will stop eventually. Maybe something warm that smells of you left within touching distance...

Noise cancellation headphones may help.

No baby to my knowledge has ever had memories of being left to cry. It's not like they're going to bring it up as teenagers that you didnt come running when they cried that time.

I feel your pain. I literally saw every hour on the clock from 5-11 months until I night weaned. Co sleeping was the only way I got sleep, latch him on then both go back to sleep. Dad took over night duties from 11 months and they still co sleep now and DS is 3 🙈 anything for a good nights sleep

This was me op.
I was at my wits end. We introduced a dummy at 5.5 months. I know what you're saying about getting so far but you've also got a lot of baby time ahead of you and your current situation is unsustainable.
The dummy helped massively. DD still doesn't sleep all the way through but goes to bed at 7:30. Wakes once a night for a ten minute feed and back to sleep until 6/7. When she stirs my husband goes in to settle her with the dummy. I will only go in if after 5 mins she hasn't settled with him. I get a lot more sleep and would really recommend trying a dummy. Babies natural instinct is to suckle.
Dd is 12 months now!

Try reading Lucy Wolfe's The Baby Sleep Solution if you'd like to try some gentle sleep training! Basically one of the many variations on a gradual retreat method where you stay in the room comforting them and then gradually move away until they go down by themselves. Get your DH to read it too and get on board and give it a go together. Having a good night's sleep makes me feel like an entirely different mother all together so hoping you get some soon and sending lots of luck🍀

Your baby sounds just like mine was and the problem was low sleep pressure from too much day sleep and a too early bedtime. If babies have too much sleep they don't sleep well. Which I'd never realised -- but it makes sense because if I took lots of long naps in the day I wouldn't be able to make it through the night either!

I stopped extending naps by pushing in the pram etc and pushed bedtime back by an hour. Within 3 days we went from 8-10 wakes per night (with cosleeping) to 2-3 wakes (just quick to feed and then straight back to sleep). Please google Georgina May. She provides information on sleep based on actual research and strategies for improving sleep without sleep training at all. I was at breaking point and she's changed my life.

She has some paid programmes but you can get lots of the information for free. I did her minicourse and was planning to sign up for her full programme if things didn't improve but I won't need to because our nights are completely manageable now.

The Facebook group The Beyond Sleep Training Project is also really helpful. (It's for those trying to move beyond sleep training -- so does not advocate sleep training at all). If you are able to sort out the reason why your baby is waking so often you won't need to sleep train.

All the best -- not sleeping is horrific. I hope you are able to find a solution.

Sorry -- I don't know why it posted with a line through. I didn't mean for that to happen!