Night weaning - losing the will to live

[parkrunsandpinot]

Following dr Jay Gordon method.

Night 1-3 went really well. 15m old unlatched whilst still awake and he cried a bit, rolled over and went to sleep. Amazing!

Night 4 last night.... not so good. He wasn't playing ball from bedtime (potentially teething but there is always something right?) Gave Calpol just in case. Asking for boob all night every hour and by this point I'm so knackered I think maybe I'll just repeat the strategy of the previous 3 nights eg unlatch and let him fall asleep on his own rather than no boob at all - it just went horrendously wrong.

Inconsolable most of the night, broken sleep, I'm shattered, not sure where to go from here! Shall I just do it? No boob tonight while husband is home for weekend to help? It's just so exhausting having him cry all night but I need some light at the end of the tunnel that it won't be for long.

To note - I want to do this myself not have my DH do it. I will just lie in another room and worry and feel sad and I'd prefer to do it myself!
Any night weaners out there to offer support?

Bump :)

I nightweaned when DS was about 6 mo older but did a HUGE amount of prep, reading a book about it endlessly, daily and talking about it, gradually reducing time before delatching and awakeness then explained milky was tired and no more. He wasn't upset and only asked a couple of nights.

If you want to do it, don't send DH in- DS and I would have been inconsolable. Maybe ponder if DS actually ready, and either persist, or try again in a few weeks.

@parkrunsandpinot it sounds like things are generally going in the right direction though? I know last night sounds like it was horrendous for you but there will always be blips, nothing is linear. I also have a 15 month old terrible sleeper until a month ago when he just completely changed. We very gently nightweaned over a month I guess. A lot of it was inadvertent - like nights when by 3am I just couldn’t bear to have him on me any more I was so exhausted and touched out. Going back to work as well on 20 wake ups a night was gruelling.

I also could not bear to let him cry. we did it together my partner and I. Just gradually he started trying to settle him and if he wouldn’t settle then I’d feed. There was one night when he was cross and cried on me for a while cos I wouldn’t feed him cos it was 11pm and I had literally just fed him but that’s the only one that stands out for me. But we’ve always been with him and been completely responsive.

Hes now in his own cot in his own room. I still feed him to sleep then I don’t see him until the morning. My partner does the night wakes. He sleeps through half the time and then either wakes once or on occasion twice. Maybe two times in the last month he’s woken a few times at the start of the night but settled after Ibuprofen.

i just can’t believe the transformation. I’m sleeping so well now I’ve gotten used to the change. He’s even cut his molars this month. I’m sure there will be a blip at some point tho when he’s poorly for example.

one thing I have definitely learned is not to let him sleep too much during the day. If he’s woken at a reasonable hour (eg after 7am) I won’t let him nap longer than 80 mins.

Good luck I hope it goes well for you x

Hi

push on for another 2-3 nights. That really hard night was expected.

I have night weaned using Jay Gordon method also at 15 months.@JayGordonMDFAAP is that really you?

Night 4 was the toughest, I think on one of the wakes he cried off and on for 2hrs! But despite that it was still a huge relief to me to not be feeding him. A month or so on he has actually slept through the night a few times! Generally only wakes once unless something else is going on, he is prone to ear infections. He settles much more quickly without the feeds, than he used to with them, although I do still feed if he wakes after 4am so as not to risk starting our day then.

It's made me feel much more positive about breastfeeding. I was feeling completely overwhelmed by it and ready to Jack it in.

Thanks Jay Gordon for your advice! I'd also recommend what Lyndsey Hookway and Sarah Ockwell-Smith have to say on the subject.

Please feel free to message me op if you want some support through the process.

Thank you everyone for some really helpful responses!

@JayGordonMDFAAP wow I feel honoured you have responded to my post if that is really you!

Can I ask - would you postpone if little one is teething? I've noticed two molars literally breaking through the skin today and he's showing lots of teething signs.

Not sure if we can pause and pick up again in a week. But I won't break the new habit of unlatching before he's asleep as that's going really well.

@LGBirmingham thank you.

Did your little one get really angry? Mine starts hitting me and pushing my hands away when I try to comfort. Also banging his head on me and really sobbing his little heart out.

Yes! But I expected it and honestly was so pleased to not be feeding him I just felt really calm through the whole process. I really was feeling like I was through with breastfeeding. LO was constantly after day and night, as much or more as a newborn. My main motivation to start nightweaning was as a precursor to full weaning, I was hoping it would improve sleep but wasn't banking on it. I was sick of 40 minute suckling sessions in the middle of the night the most. I feel in a much better place with it now.

Honestly it will be easier. It might not stop night waking entirely but it probably will improve the situation. You're doing the best thing for you LO doing this yourself and remaining responsive. He's just angry and not yet with the programme. He will get there I promise.