11 week old waking every 30mins

[Cuwins]

Our 11 week old has gone from being a reasonable sleeper (except for some issues with trapped wind and reflux) to suddenly waking every 30mins when she is in her cot. This has been going on for about 10 days now and I’m exhausted.
She will sleep for hours on us but when I put her down like clockwork she is awake 30mins later if not before.
Everything I have read suggests the problem is her waking between sleep cycles and that we need to teach her to self soothe to stop this. And the answer to how to do this seems to be to put her to bed awake but drowsy. My question is how do we do that?
We have a good bedtime routine- starting at 6:30pm- bath, story, bottle, cuddles, bed. But she is always well asleep before the bed bit- unfortunately due to bad reflux we can’t put her down straight after a bottle or she chokes on the reflux(she is on omeprazole which helps but doesn’t get rid of the issue), she needs to be upright for 15-20mins by which time she is asleep.
She has just started going 4.5-5hrs between bottles in the night so has 1 at midnight ish and 1 at 4:30am ish but again I can’t put her straight down meaning she is asleep before she goes down.
When she wakes after 30mins I have tried patting her in the cot to settle her but she just ends up screaming, I have tried leaving her for 5mins to settle but again she ends up screaming.
I have considered co-sleeping but for a number of reasons it doesn’t work for us.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to improve this and teach her to self settle?

When I have tried to put her down awake for naps when there isn't a bottle involved then she just cries and cries.

How much does she sleep in the day time ?

Have you tried music ? Something soft and soothing or even white noise - I think you can find stuff specifically aimed at newborns like heartbeat sounds and stuff like that.

Can you give her the bottle earlier before sleep so she's not already asleep by the time she's in bed ?

What do you do when she screams, do you pick her up ? Maybe try to leave her in bed but soothe by touching/talking to her in the bed.

And you could try a mobile above her bed to distract her, though that didn't work with mine.

She sleeps every couple of hours in the day time for 1-2hours but always on us or again we have the waking every 30mins.
Yes I guess moving the bedtime bottle earlier is the obvious answer to being able to try to put her down awake then. I guess we could do it before bath.
She has a white noise machine that goes continuously. We sleep with one on anyway so she has always had one.

When she wakes I have tried patting her in the cot but she just builds up till she is screaming. I have tried leaving her for 5mins to see if she can settle herself but again she just ends up screaming. So yes I pick her up and cuddle her back to sleep.

I would have assumed that would have the opposite effect and stop her falling asleep?

Even if I move the bedtime bottle forwards though aren't we just going to get the same we get if I try to put her down awake for naps or in the night- she just cries and cries

It's rare for a baby of this age to go to bed awake and fall asleep alone. If your baby is getting distressed then they're not able to do this and that's normal. Newborns are programmed to want to sleep with their mum's!

I don't think they need to be able to fall asleep alone to sleep for more than 30 mins at a time either. Neither of mine went to bed awake at 11 weeks but they both often slept for longer stints than 30 mins at a time overnight. Does she have a dummy?

Ok thanks. That makes me feel better about cuddling her to sleep. Yes she has a dummy which she is very attached too!

Sounds as though silent reflux is making her wake.

If you haven't already tried swaddling, you could try that. You could also try raising one end of the cot so there is a slight incline. My daughter had awful colic and reflux and doing both helped a little. Massage also helped, there are particular massages that help soothe colicky babies.

Interesting as silent reflux is what the dr said she had when they prescribed omeprazole. We didn't have the waking problem originally though. It just seems strange to me that it's like clockwork the 30mins- doesn't matter how long since a feed etc.

“Drowsy but awake” is bollocks really. Have a look at Lyndsey Hookway on instagram. Some really good advice. Hang in there OP, it’ll pass (likely without you doing anything!).

We did swaddle at the beginning but struggled with it so moved on to sleeping bags and now I think she is not far off trying to roll so I wouldn't want to try swaddling again. Her next to me has an incline and her waking is exactly the same as the in the cot that doesn't. Thanks for the reply though

That's what I have been hoping but after 10 days off it I'm exhausted. My partner is good he wakes up at 3am and has her till 7am during the week when he then goes to work and I then try to have an hr nap when he gets in but that's her crying time so often she keeps me awake! But 4-5hrs sleep a night is fine for a few nights but now I'm struggling.

It feels relentless at the time, I know from experience. Try to find ways to maximise your own sleep if you possibly can. When my daughter was at her worst I would hand over to my husband and sleep in another room from 8pm-midnightish so I had a little block of sleep to see me through. Still not enough sleep but stopped me feeling dizzy with exhaustion. You'll find your own ways and strategies though and you'll be so relieved when she passes this phase.

That's kind of what we do in the morning. He has her 3-7am (or later at the weekend) so I get some sleep and she sleeps on him.
My own sleeping issues don't help (years of insomnia) as I take ages to settle myself so even when she wasn't doing this and was going down for about 2hrs between feeds I wasn't getting more than about 30mins between feeds myself

Unfortunately my partner doesn't wake in the night unless she is really crying so I can't leave him to do a night as I would just wake first anyway! So him waking early seems to be the best solution.

The reflux suggestions have made me wonder though. I might ring the dr and ask about increasing her omeprazole

Our little one did this. Turns out she was skinny and cold, she’s always needed an extra layer.

It’s normal for an 11 week old with no reflux problems to sleep like this and it will be a while before she can self-soothe. The clockwork aspect of it is because sleep cycles are 30 minutes and she isn’t joining them.
If you don’t want to cosleep the only option really is the parents taking it in turns to sleep and the awake parent holding the baby while she sleeps.
You can try all sorts of things but that turns her sleep into a problem you are trying to fix and becomes frustrating. I found accepting that this is how it is much easier. We tried lots of things with baby one and zero things with baby two and the results were about the same.

@MadameDragon i would agree with this but didn’t want to be the first to say it. You’ll find a whole industry targeting sleep deprived parents wallets…and in general by the time you’ve tried everything, their sleep cycle settles.

Change your routine- bath/wash, feed, story, cuddle, white noise machine on and into bed. If she cries back in hand on chest say your phrase (I.e. night night mummy and daddy love you) leave, keep doing it, maybe use a timer and go in after 1/2 mins? Sometimes baby cries a little before drifting off (I’m not talking a sobbing tearful cry, do not let them get to that stage). Could also try pick up and put down.

Also make sure she is warm enough.

You’ll find a whole industry targeting sleep deprived parents wallets
Yes… this. Those people don’t make money unless they convince you there is something “wrong” with your baby.