10 week old can only settle by crying

[SarahDay1990]

My LO is 10 weeks old and every time she goes to sleep she cries….I have tried adjusting her wake windows etc but it doesn’t help. The problem is after every sleep cycle she wakes up crying until she goes back to sleep. I don’t leave her to cry - I go in an try and soothe her but nothing works she just cries until she goes to sleep. At night she’ll wake screaming - I think she’s hungry but she’s not - she’s still asleep / it’s almost as though crying is her way to soothe herself? It’s horrible though….

Mine would only nap on me at that age, in a rocking chair. Do you pick her up and comfort with rocking/singing?

You said you go in, do you mean the baby naps in a separate room to you? They are meant to sleep in the same room as you for at least the first 6 months.

Do you pick her up when she cries? Babies want to be close go you. She shouldn't be in a separate room to you, look at the safe sleeping guidance. Babies shouldn't cry themselves to sleep. Let her sleep on you?

Sorry should clarify / she sleeps in the room with me in a next to me crib (my son slept in my room until he was one!) she used to sleep on me really well but I now find that she just doesn’t settle as well on me/in the sling/pram and her sleep is really disturbed. Yes I go in and cuddle her but when I pick her up she gets more hysterical. So I try sushing and patting but nothing works and she just cries - it’s awful

I remember mine would cry for a bit for day naps, and be absolutely inconsolable late afternoon and early evening (‘witching hour’) despite cuddles/bf/rocking for those early months, but the phase passed fairly quickly.
Maybe something is causing discomfort/pain, like reflux or milk intolerance?

Shushing and patting won’t work at this age, she’s far too young. Is she hungry? At this age it’s either hunger or comfort usually.. can you pick her up, cuddle her and feed her?

Ps it doesn’t matter if he seems asleep when she’s feeding, at 10 weeks she needs regular feeding in the night. It’s really hard, but it does get easier

And also don’t worry about wake windows and sleep cycles.. they have no obvious sleep pattern at this age

Doesn’t seem hungry - I pick her up and feed her when she cries but she’ll feed for a few mins…it’s almost as though it’s the comfort but then if I just let her sleep on me she’ll wake every few mins…if I pick her il
And cuddle her she becomes more hysterical…

Doesn’t seem hungry - I pick her up and feed her when she cries but she’ll feed for a few mins…it’s almost as though it’s the comfort but then if I just let her sleep on me she’ll wake every few mins…

Has she got wind OP? At the next feed try putting her up on your shoulder and winding her for a good 20mins, and then do a few mins of bicycle legs. Sometimes mine had trapped wind that led to unsettled sleep.

This all sounds normal, I'd be a little surprised if a 10 week old doesn't want feeding in the night - how long are they going without a feed overnight? However within reason it's not unheard of, my DD regularly used to sleep about 6-8 hrs at a time overnight at that age without a feed. She did wake overnight frequently and I would often try to feed her but she wouldn't have it (bottle fed). However I wouldn't let a newborn cry in their bed for more than a couple of minutes. If they're not settling quickly I would pick them up and do whatever I need to do to settle them - feeding, rocking in rocking chair, walking around with them, cuddling, bouncing on exercise ball, if all else fails pushing in the pram in the hallway...whatever we need to do. Tiny babies are programmed to want to be close to you when they sleep and most of them need to suck and have motion to fall asleep. Aso do they have a dummy as that will help to soothe them for sleep?

Yes I tried a dummy but every time it fell out she would wake which was every 40-45 mins! It just seems that no matter what I do she will wake at the 40-45 min mark and cry….the more I try and soothe her

This is normal, they grow out of it. Both my kids have done this, eldest grew out of it. Youngest is only 6 months so still does this for almost all naps. It's normal to have to frequently soothe a baby back to sleep. Having to do it frequently or repeatedly is par for the course. Stopping soothing your baby is not going to make them sleep better and it's going to make them distressed too. You just do what they need whilst they are this small.

I would.feed her at every wake up, even if she only sucks for a few minutes and goes back to sleep. It’s really normal (though exhausting). Don’t leave her to cry

Eldest did this for every single nap from five weeks until she stopped napping at 18/20mo. Never at bedtime. Didn’t matter how you tried to soothe her, she cried until she fell asleep. At age 3.5 she goes ballistic if she’s I’ll and we suggest a lie down in the day. When asked about it she says it’s boring to sleep when it’s not nighttime.

Some children are weird. So long as you’re offering comfort/food as needed, it doesn’t sound like you’re being cruel.