19 week old horrendous sleeping. Desperate mum here!

[Poppyfig18]

My almost 19 week old is the worst at sleep. It's becoming unbareable and I don't know hwo to cope much longer.

She basically hates going to sleep no matter where or how. She will cry and cry and it escalates into intense screaming. This is wether she is being held or not. Picking her up makes no difference to her intense screaming. I have to feed her to sleep at night and naps. She only naps for 40 mins each time in the day. Which I can accept. The real trouble comes at night. She used to sleep for 6 hour stretches which was great. Since 5 weeks ago she has started waking every hour and will scream bloody murder until fed to sleep again. The lack of sleep feels like torture and tbh I just dread our days together as it's a constant crying battle. Fed up mum here! My mum was a health visitor for 40 years and says she has never come across a baby this young totally refusing to sleep. Help!!

Perhaps its because lo is used to you feeding to sleep So expects that everytime they wake??

Yeah I think this is part of it for sure you're right! But if I don't do that she will literally scream herself mental and choke and cough for easily an hour. We have a great bedtime routine we do every night and I always try to get her to nap before she's over tired. In just loosing my mind x

My son at 5 months (he's now 10 months) did the same! We resorted to co sleeping as we needed to rest too. He now sleeps 12 hours without waking, done safely he's fine. Scary at first but I think it's natural and if done safely perfectly fine. But maybe they need more space? If she's still in the next to me maybe she just needs more room so time to introduce a cot?

At that age my son also only had short naps so guessing that's normal x

Ok, you can't actually do a lot about this. The best thing you can do is a find a way to get some sleep yourself, so it's easier to handle.

Can anyone take the baby for a good whack of the day and you go to bed? It'll feel slightly better if you're not on your knees.

I'm assuming you've tried all the usual tricks. Dark room, white noise, shushing, patting and swinging etc.

Does she have a bath before bed? Sometimes that can overstimulate babies. Have you tried a sling to keep her upright?

Do you think there's anything els going on? Reflux, silent reflux, CMPA or tongue tie?

The other option is to completely change everything. Like a mini shock tactic. Cease bedtimes for a bit. Just keep her with you until she falls asleep. Lights on, TV on, very normal stuff. It'll give you a break from the every-evening-is-like-this feeling. Just to break the cycle?

Sympathies. I had one of these. Unless you've been through it it's hard to really understand how low it can take you. You need sleep, even if it see my s that the baby doesn't! And that's where I'd start. Get some sleep.

We also did that just keep baby with us whilst watching tv etc until they fall asleep so you get a little bit of a break in the evening!

Thanks guys! I've tried co sleeping, she will just lay next to me and scream and scream (currently doing this right now)! Sh has a cot for when I stay at my mums and she is equally bad in that but may replace the next to me with one anyway!
Yes she has a bath most night and probably does love it so maybe it's too much!
She has reflux so has cot on an incline etc and an omeprazole for this.
We can't keep her with us in the evening to chill either as once she's tired she gets very upset and cries for hours. So instead of it being upstairs in the bedroom she would just be hysterical downstairs instead. It's awful!

Maybe, as she's grown, she needs more medication to control the acid?

Couldn't be teething could it? That can be worse at night. Is she chomping her fingers / drooling? If so you could try teething powder and see if it helps?

Have you tried a dummy? I was persistent with my lo as she had reflux, and it's great self soother.

If waking every hour have ypu thought lo may be overtired? Just a thought?

Check the meds are still working.
Feed her to sleep every time, immediately. Just to stop the screaming fits. You can work on stretching things once you know it's not reflux and have had a break from the screaming.
Try and get a chunk of sleep at some point. I used to go to bed as son as DS1 had stopped cluster feeding, and DH would sit with him, downstairs, ad keep him as quiet as he could for as long as he could. I also used to basically sleep all afternoon on a Sat and,Sunday between feeds.
Yes, it was shit for family life, but it was what DS and I needed.
DS never mastered napping for more than 40 mins.
He didn't sleep through til and age you don't want to know - I kept my Sat afternoon nasfor several years - but if you can migrate to a point where you get 4 straight hours uninterrupted sleep a night, things become bearable.

Omg yes forgot to say teething!! My son had 2 teeth come the same day at 6 months and the weeks leading upto that he was sooo grumpy