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Sleep

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Original poster

3 week old will not lay down on his back

30 replies

GraceL365 · 23/04/2022 03:30

Hi everyone!

I’m a first time mum to a gorgeous 3 week old baby boy but he just will not go to sleep in his Moses basket. He will happily sleep for hours on my chest or in my arms but as soon as I put him down on his back in the basket, he starts crying within minutes. As much as I love having him in my arms, me and my partner are exhausted and having to take it in turns during the night so the other can get some sleep. I’m not sure whether he just hates being put down because he loves to be cuddled, or whether being in that position is causing him discomfort as he also cries when being changed or when on the floor.

We have tried Infacol and even a prescription of baby Gaviscon to no avail :(

Any advice/ anyone experienced similar and if so, what did you do?

OP posts:

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thingymaboob · 23/04/2022 03:36

It's so hard to say. So many babies are like this in the first few weeks. Search "fourh trimester". Are you breastfeeding or ff? It may or may not be reflux but if gaviscon not effective it's reasonable that you ask for omeprazole. Does he lie down at all in the pram or on sofa etc in the day?

Original poster

GraceL365 · 23/04/2022 03:53

I know it seems to be a common problem from reading online and have heard about the fourth trimester! He is being formula fed. He will sleep in his carrycot in the pram although does often start crying on walks but then he will usually go back off to sleep whilst being pushed.

He just seems to settle anywhere other than the basket. We think he suffers with bad wind as he cries and you can see him straining and he goes bright red in the face so I’m not sure if him not liking being on his back could maybe be due to this?

OP posts:

ctd11 · 23/04/2022 03:55

I just wrote two massive replies and they didn't post so sorry if this sounds blunt! My ten month old was the same; he now never wants cuddles as he's too busy and he never falls asleep on me now! So make the most of it as they aren't small for long! It genuinely sounds like fourth trimester he's been somewhere warm with lots of movement for the last 9 months that's why he wants you or dad, babies are vulnerable and they have a survival instinct it's natural for them to hate being put down. Me and my partner also took it in turns. Also never force a routine, babies find their own! X

LostOrFound · 23/04/2022 03:59

Congratulations on your baby!

I’m afraid this is quite common and I think as much as anything they just want to be close to you. It’s the “fourth trimester”.

You’ll find lots of tips from warming the crib with a hot water bottle, sleeping with the bedding before you use it so it has your smell, angling the crib so it isn’t flat. Some people have success with these techniques - didn’t work for me at all.

To be completely honest, safe sleep advice went out of the window for us and I just slept while my baby was on my chest. I propped myself in position with a v-shaped pillow so I couldn’t move anywhere.

Eventually I was able to let him fall asleep on my chest then roll him off and he’d sleep on his back as long as he was right next to me (I used a bednest which I know isn’t recommended for overnight sleep, but was the only way I could get him to sleep off my chest).

Other people do persist with tag-teaming sleep with their partner.

But it WILL end. It’s a normal phase. You just need to get through it in the best way you can.

WetherspoonsCarpet · 23/04/2022 04:12

Oh it's so hard isn't it. We took out in turns to start with too, then I discovered my little one would sleep in his next to me crib swaddled in a love to dream arms up swaddle so that made things a lot easier. Every baby is different but some really seem to like being swaddled and cosy. Good luck.

ElmtreeMama · 23/04/2022 04:14

We took it in turns until DD was 4 months, she then went to sleeping next to me so at least we can co sleep following the safety guidelines.

Horcruxe · 23/04/2022 04:32

Have you tried swaddling?

Most babies dont want to be laid down flat. Its quite scary for them. All they've known is being held very tightly before they were born and now they're expected to be able to lie flat with no kind of pressure, just space and air around them.

Also at that age they have a very active startle.reflex. the smallest think makes there arms shudder if they are startled and can wake them.

They want to feel comfort, and swaddling helps significantly, just make sure there isnt pressure over the hip area.

Lastsecondfail · 23/04/2022 04:44

Congratulations OP- cherish every moment.

You could try a white noise machine? Or sleeping in a carrycot or something on an angle. Think reflux tilt?

Might help?

Best of luck

Sh05 · 23/04/2022 04:46

Could you tilt the basket at one end so he's not flat on his back but a little raised at his head side?
If he'll let you then swaddle him and tuck in a t shirt of yours over him like you would a blanket.
Your scent might give him some comfort

DappledOliveGroves · 23/04/2022 04:49

Have you tried a dummy? We used one from when DD was a couple of weeks' old and it seemed to calm her down and help her to relax. We also have a Ewan the Dream Sheep and she loves it! She'll happily stare at Ewan and fall asleep in her crib whilst he plays music/white noise to her.

Longdistance · 23/04/2022 05:11

My dd1 was like this. She only wanted to fall asleep next to me, so we co slept. Dd2 however, liked to sleep on her side or sometimes her front and I’d use an Angelcare pad monitor for her. But it’s risky to put them to sleep on their front.
If you think about it, they’re cocooned inside you for 9 months, so like to be close. Swaddling May work.

Original poster

GraceL365 · 23/04/2022 17:22

Thanks for all of your replies. We do use a dummy which works 50% of the time but sometimes he’ll just spit it out and there is no comforting him. I’m not keen on swaddling but I may have to try it to see if it makes any difference. I know the midwife did it in the hospital and he slept well from what I remember.

I think it’s more frustrating because me and my partner seriously disagree on how to deal with his crying. He is happy to leave him screaming in the basket and let him exhaust himself to sleep whereas I can’t bear to listen to him cry and will go to comfort him.

OP posts:

ctd11 · 23/04/2022 21:14

Do not leave the baby to cry. He's crying because he wants comfort why would your partner be happy to let him cry!

Angelik · 23/04/2022 21:21

When you put him down, put him on his side and watch him, until you think he's in a deep sleep then gently, gently roll on to his back. You might need to hold him in position - though i used rolled up blankets so i wasn't in an awkward position for ages. Sometimes rubbing back/gentle tapping of bottom helped - any rythmic motion. I think swaddling will help him feel secure. If side doesn't work. Put him on his tummy and do the same - when in deep sleep turn him over. I did not leave them. I had to do both with my two. I would not let him cry it out - that is cruel.

springtimeishereagain · 23/04/2022 21:29

He's three weeks old. You're right - don't leave him to cry at this age! All he knows is you. He needs to be with you

N4ish · 23/04/2022 21:31

Please don’t allow your partner to push you into leaving a tiny newborn to cry it out! This is a really common phase which will pass sooner or later, definitely worth giving swaddling a try.

Bobbybobbins · 23/04/2022 21:59

You are right - don't leave him to cry, he is far too little. Tbh both of mine would only sleep on or next to me at night til they were 5 months old. I co- slept which helped (a bit)

Starfish1021 · 23/04/2022 22:06

Oh goodness don’t use the cry it out method at 3 weeks. Cuddles and try swaddling? It’s really hard but completely normal at this age.

MulberryBush700 · 23/04/2022 22:13

My DS was a contact sleeper, meaning he would only sleep when being held for the first 4 months. Then I could gradually put him down to sleep, although had to rock him to sleep until he was 1,5y old. Still cosleeps, although he is getting more and more independent with his sleep as he matures so things are a million times easier now. He is 2,5y.

I know it's difficult, I was at my absolute wits end, suffering with PND but they are tiny and some babies need more contact than others in the early stages. You can think about sleep training later (6 months +) but st this stage they need you. They need your comfort and they most certainly should not be left to cry to exhaust themselves.

Try safe co sleeping, it saved me and we all managed get a fairly decent sleep most night, although DH had to take the spare bed for a good few months but it was a worthy sacrifice as sleep depravation was an absolute beast and we weren't coping.

Good luck.

Original poster

GraceL365 · 23/04/2022 22:53

It was probably a poor choice of words, it’s not that he’s happy to leave him screaming it’s just he’s thinking that we should be teaching him to self-soothe and not conditioning him to think that crying equals cuddles because he’s worried about sleeping difficulties when he’s older but I’ve told him so many times that a 3 week old is too tiny and wouldn’t be making that association.

I know I’m right but your replies have reassured me that I’m doing the right thing - thank you.

OP posts:

LostOrFound · 24/04/2022 21:18

If it is any comfort to you, my first DC was like this, and evolved into a brilliant sleeper (eventually!).

My second was a much better sleeper as a small baby but is now aged 5 and has to co-sleep with me every night!

you’re not making a rod for your own back at this age, just do what works for you and your baby.

Original poster

GraceL365 · 25/04/2022 06:43

That is of some comfort to know that he will hopefully get better with his sleeping! What did you do during this stage to cope and at what age did this start to improve?

OP posts:

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 25/04/2022 21:56

Possibly reflux or silent reflux ?
Don't worry... it DOES get easier! I had one like this.
It'll feel like in no time at all you're looking back at this saying remember when he would only ever sleep on our chests and we were exhausted having to take it in turns through the night? Now the little bugger won't give us a cuddle 😂😂
Sending you positivity and strength op xxx

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 25/04/2022 21:56

MadeForThis · 25/04/2022 22:11

Can you tilt the top of the Moses basket so it isn't totally flat. Put a book under the front legs?

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