Bad Nap Days?

[Rowlie]

I am singularly obsessed with my baby’ sleep which I know is not healthy in itself but I can’t seem to stop worrying about it. Is he sleeping enough/am I on the right routine/is he self-settling/am I creating bad habits/will he ever sleep through/will sleep get worse/how will I cope if so etc etc

For months he was a catnapper which I know can be common/normal but I found it very hard. At 7m I felt we were just getting into a bit more of a routine. His first two naps have extended to at least 1hr 20 and he will then sometimes have a 3rd catnap depending on when he wakes up from his lunch nap. But today we are back to 30 mins again for every nap and I start to panic that it’s all gone wrong again and question what could have happened today/what I’ve done to cause it.

I still don’t seem to have set timings for every day, because his wakeup time can vary still. If it’s before 6am I resettle him with a bottle and he’ll go onto sleep until 7.30ish and I then wake him up, if it’s after 6am I tend to get him up as this seems an acceptable wake time.

i’m just struggling. He can self-settle and nights are ok I know compared to some this age (usually 1x wake for a bottle but has on a few occasions gone 7pm-6am).

But now naps have been off today I’m immediately worrying about whether this will affect our night. Basically all I do is worry about sleep and I know I haven’t even got it that bad.

Can anyone offer any words of wisdom.

Yes… stop worrying. I know that’s easier said than done with your first born but please so obsessing! Baby sleep changes so much in the first 18 months, they go through growth spurts, regressions, teething etc it won’t always be the same. I found once I stopped worrying and accepted whatever that day brought sleep wise I was a lot happier. Stop reading about other babies having 3 hour naps and 12 hour nights and just enjoy your baby

Op, you're right to think about baby's sleep because it's so important. Have a look at Little Ones schedules. Literally changed my life with my first when I discovered it when he was around 5 months old.

Currently following the schedules again with my 6 week old.

@myveryloudsun I do use the Huckleberry sleep schedules but tbh this just stresses me out more when he doesn’t conform to what it says he should be doing that particular age bracket. I feel like an expert on baby sleep because all i do is worry/research baby sleep. I know what I should be doing/unhealthy habits etc but it doesn’t always work like that I guess.

@Dumbo18 is right, it’s ruining my enjoyment of him and how lovely he is. And on the whole he’s not even that bad a sleeper! I’m just always worrying about the ‘what if’

Honestly I worried so much and got very anxious if the naps went wrong. In my experience naps really aren’t that important, obviously they need to nap and don’t want them overtired but some days mine would nap horribly and then sleep well others they would nap by the book and have a horrendous night. Try and go with the flow, I wish I had.

How was the night OP?

Oh @Rowlie this was absolutely me! I became so obsessed and so worried. If he woke up early from a nap, or had a short one, I felt absolutely paralysed with the thoughts of what it meant for the rest of the day, when does he need to go back down, will his nights be affected etc. And just you you, I’ve had a “good” sleeper (now 15mo). And as you say, I felt like an “expert” because of how much a searched baby sleep and wake windows and daily sleep needs. My family must have thought I was mental spouting off all these sleep related things I “learnt” and still panicked constantly! I found I stressed lots when there was a set “sleep regression” looming, even though in all honestly we’ve never really suffered and they have never come of anything for us. Even now I’m worried about the 18m sleep regression at 15m! It’s awful as there are others that have really poor sleepers and are exhausted, but you just can’t seem to get out of this worry pit. I ended up on anxiety medication because of it all, I tied myself up in knots. The only thing a would say is it will change so much. I remember crying when my little boy was 4months old because of how I got him to sleep, thinking when I go back to work when he’s 1 how can I expect my childcare to invest this much time into getting him to sleep… safe to say there’s no way on earth he wants me looming over him patting his tummy and inserting a dummy when he’s trying to sleep now 😂
Just try to go with it, I know it’s easier said than done. It doesn’t help that there is so much conflicting advice, the sleep industry is huge right now because of this fear and panic. If it was clear cut and all babies conformed to the same ideals, then all advice would be the same and it’s not… which tells me that there is absolutely no “norm” and no two babies need or want the same things. I understand the need for a routine as I’m built that way, but you might find without even realising it you already have a little flow, you're just fogged with the worry of it all. For what it’s worth, I also used Huckleberry (the sleep spot for naps etc). It wasn’t always by the book, things did change and I know it’s not for everyone but it did help guide me a little bit.
I just realised that was a lot of waffle, but my point is you’re not alone if feeling this way, it can be all-consuming, but it absolutely will be ok xxx

@Rowlie I know this is an old thread but wondered how things are and how you managed through all the sleep anxieties?
I too am obsessed with my little one’s sleep (5 months) and it really spoils my days :-(

@Pops27 I am exactly the same- my baby is 14 months so I've developed ways of coping, but happy to talk if you want to. X