3yr old started waking again - help!

[milkymill]

My dd usually has the lamp on to go to bed, and we turned off whne we went up. This last week she started waking up crying and asking for the lamp on. Problem is that once it's back on it stops her from getting back to sleep, so she was awake for hours the other night.

We decided that we weren't going to let her have it on at all, ans I told her I would leave the bathroom light on and her door open. She has no probs going to sleep like this, but is still waking every night crying. She gets up and come into our room, or just sits on the landing crying.

She says she's scared of the dark, or various other problems such as thirsty, itchy etc. I am being driven mad by it! I feel terrible because I can't help getting really angrty when she just won't go back to sleep; I'm just soo knackered.

Any suggestions as to how to handle this are appreciated, as it's making all of us very grumpy.

Swap lamp for nightlight or plug in. Keep calm, would you be able to go back to sleep if someone was angry with you? Keep light levels low, talk to minimum, reassure and settle quickly, holding hand and making soothing noises but reduced eye contact. Leave within minutes but say you will be back in 5 mins to check her. If still awake reassure and then leave for 10 mins. She needs confidence that its safe to go back to sleep, that you are around.
We have 4 y o twins who still do this, its not uncommon. Keep at it doing the same thing it may take a few nights but does work. Calm, quiet, darkish and reassuring.

my 3yo is a bugger for sleeping atm. I call it my comeuppance for being smug about her sleeping through at 6 weeks old

Nightlight definitely better than a lamp, and although it helped slightly with dd it hasn't cured the problem

She is too hot/too cold/thirsty/needs a wee(then doesn't do one) etc etc etc and like you we are all tired and cranky.

She has said she doesn't like being left alone which seems to be the root cause of the problem. If she wakes she can't get back to sleep by herself. We are working on that directly rather than pandering to all her nocturnal requests.

It is so hard, sleep deprivation is the pits. you have my utmost sympathy.

Oh my god, my little 3 year old Ds has just started saying he doesnt like being left on his own now at bedtime and waking too crying and afraid to be on his own! Not sure if its emotional blackmail or a real fear!! He has a little nightlight which helped us through a similar phase before but not sure what to now that he is a bit older!!
Sorry i'm not much help but good to know someone in same situation .

From what I understand it is fairly common for this to happen at 3 - this is the age when their imagination really kicks in. They are old enough to think "what if x were to happen in my bedroom whilst I'm asleep" but aren't old enough to realise that it probably won't.

DD saw an episode of Fireman Sam where a character's bedroom went up in flames and for ages afterwards she thought it was going to happen to her. We spend (seemingly) hours explaining that it was highly unlikely to happen, and anyway we have smoke alarms, and it helps that her friends' dad is a fireman too.

It's not the method for everyone I know but we are going with constant reassurance and comfort when she gets very upset coupled with sterness when she starts acting up. I spend some nights sleeping with her - thankfully she has a full size single bed! - that way at least we all get some sleep.

Again, not helpful but it is nice not to be alone!

Sorry, not checked in. Thanks for all of your words of reassurance and advice. We decided to go back to using the lamp for now, and promised we would leave it on all night for her but she must stay in bed and go back to sleep if she woke, as long as not poorly etc..

Well so far so good! She has had a few undisturbed nights now; except last night when she was running a high temp. fingers crossed it lasts. Think I will def look into getting a less 'intrusive' night light though, rather than the lamp.

I have had the same problem with my previously fantastic sleeping 3 yr old. We found a special night light in john lewis with 2 parts to it (looks a bit like an oversized alarm clock). You set the time to when it is an acceptable time to get up in the morning and the night light picture changes from a bunny sleeping to a daytime picture. My son loves it and it is a very soft light to leave on all night. Finding it esp usefull for the dark mornings as he doesn't know what time it is and it gives him a bit of independence.

i am having probs with myy dd (3.9) initially she would mess around at bedtime, so much so that one night she didnt go to sleep till 10.55. someone suggested i sit with her until she falls asleep, i have done this for last 3 nights and each night she has been asleep by 7.30 hurray!!. however for the last 2 nights she has woke at 3am and been awake till 5am WTF

Regarding night light, we bought dd a go glow light from argos for £19.99. its dim enough to be left on all night and they can lift the top off and it becomes a torch if they want.

Only a little advice to offer, more just words of sympathy, as we are having a nightmare with dd who has for the last few weeks has taken hours to get to sleep, and then when it gets to about 3/4 in the morning, gets out of her bed and legs it across the landing to clamber into my side of the bed.

Consequently we are all shattered (me particularly, as when she wakes up she will only have me, not dh, to comfort her) and it takes me back to having a tiny baby. at least with a little one you can all fit in the bed! A fidgety nearly four year old is not a recipe for a comfortable night's sleep.

BUT, last night we moved her room around so she no longer looks into the landing, and that seemed to work well, and tonight I am going to dig out the lavender baby bath and bath both children in gallons of it.