Two year old sleeps horrendously close to the edge !!!!

[giraffes2021]

DS just seems to be such a crap sleeper!!
He was 2 this month he's never really slept through as such, probably for about a week in his life. Lately he's been getting up so much! He goes bed 7/8 then he's up like clockwork around 11 then 2 then 4!!!!

I'm close to the edge!! The only way I can get him back to sleep is rocking him, offering some milk, or putting him in bed with us!
Should I be letting him settle himself? Problem is I've got a 4 year old and he's so loud I don't want him to wake her!! I can't even go bed early as he wakes at 11 wahhhhh HELP

He either

• needs to learn to settle himself

Or

• sleeps in with you full time

Both options will get your more sleep.

Is he still napping?

@Duracellbunnywannabe yeah he's still napping I've cut it to an hour max. We've tried no nap and he does go down easier but he still wakes up!

Can the 4 year old spend a few nights at a relatives so you can go cold turkey with the 2 year old? He needs to settle himself.

Your 4 year old is for f to have to have a few broken nights

Better in the long run than an unhappy mother close to the edge

Do we think that I need to let him cry then? I guess it's a good weekend to do it this weekend!

Yes
Of course some will say no
But definitely
Couple of nights I reckon

Yes you’ll all be grumpy and sleep deprived
But you’ll look back end of next week and think - thank heavens we did that

How do you get them to sleep initially...do they go to sleep by themselves or do you have to sit with them or anything?

@SunshineAndFizz he usually falls asleep on me so think this is the issue

He went to sleep at 8pm he's woken up already! Been crying on and off for half an hour wahhh going to be a long night I just keep lying him down and patting his bum

If he falls asleep on you, then stirs in the night and you're no longer there, he will fully wake up to look for you. Imagine if you went to sleep next to your partner then suddenly in the middle of the night realised it was just you in the bed. You'd be fully awake thinking "where did they go, what time is it, what's going on?!"

If your DS can fall asleep with you next to him, or close by but not in contact, he has a much better chance of connecting his sleep cycles together without your input.

Also he's 2 so you can do a lot of play based practising. Put his teddies.to bed, role play them waking up and you putting them back to sleep the same way.you want him to learn himself. Read books about how great and cosy it is to be snuggled up with his teddies in bed. We had a few on rotation for my non-sleeping DCs including "Goodnight Tom" "A Bed of your Own" and "Goodnight Sleep Tight" but there are loads out there.

@Howmuchwood yeah I did a bit of that tonight got his teddy and was like let's get all snuggly etc. could it be a regression or is this not a thing ?

There are loads of possible reasons, at this age their language development and both gross and fine motor skills come on in leaps and bounds so that could all affect sleep but mostly it will be to do with the difference between how he falls asleep and then you not being there when he momentarily wakes between sleep cycles. It'll probably take 3-6 weeks to create a new routine for him but well worth it in the long run. I had to do similar with both DC age around 18 months as they were fed and rocked to sleep. We did loads of daytime role play and it really helped them.understand what to expect at bedtime. MyDC are 8 and 5 now and great sleepers