Moving baby into his own room? How did you handle it?

[Kiyentai]

My little guy is 13 months old, he has slept in his own crib in our room up until now. My husband keeps hinting on moving our little man into his own room at night. He does take naps in his room during the day. I'll be honest I'm having trouble with the idea. My sons room is down the hall and I do have PTSD from some trauma I endured when I was a younger adult, I have had 6 years of therapy for my PTSD but I still worry about our son not being in our room because well..people are crazy lol

We tried to move him last night. We had the monitor on so we can hear/see him. I cried, I couldn't sleep. I'm also used to sleeping with the noise machine on (for the baby)and we couldn't because the baby wasn't there in our room, I could hear EVERYTHING. By about half the night our son was back in our room, as he woke up to eat. My husband also turned on the lights to feed him which is a no no. He wouldn't go back to sleep right away but I do think my husband was upset that he had to move him back.

Is this normal for a first time mom? Is there a good way to go about it? My husband seems to want "his privacy back" but I do try to tell him we have a baby and even if our son is moved..we will still need to tend to him. My husband is an amazing guy don't get me wrong, I just now he's a bit frustrated about it.

While feeling some trepidation is normal, the level you describe isnt. I suspect you know that, since you explain your PTSD.

When parenting it's hard - but important - to ensure parental anxiety don't adversely affect child development. At some point your child will need to be in their own room. It need not be now, but it will happen. So, in discussion with your DH, you need to decide if what is currently stopping the move is your anxiety, or baby not being ready yet.

If baby usnt ready yet, continuing to bed share / room share through the toddler years is not uncommon and perfectly fine.

If baby is ready for the change, and it's your anxiety that's pulling you to want him back with you, you need to deal with that because its unhealthy.

Some suggestions;

• Get yourself a white noise machine for your room. Or use a bedside fan to create the while noise.
• Speak to your GP about your anxiety
• Give yourself time and accept you might feel anxious initially but it will reduce as you get used to it.

I guess in answer to your question, said gently, no this doesn't sound normal. As pp said, I think getting some support for yourself would be sensible. Yes it can be mildly distressing for some but going into their own room shouldn't be provoking the level of anxiety you're describing.

A small night light for your baby's room which you leave on all night would stop you needing to put a light on to feed. You can play white noise through your phone in your room if needed. Personally I find it easier not having a baby monitor on and just leaving the door open so I can hear our baby - I always wake when they stir but it avoids the glare of the monitor in my face!

If you are making the move then stick with it, don't bring him back into your room half way through the night. If you're not ready to do it yet then don't but he will need to move at some point and many are sleeping in their own room from 6/7 months. It's also important to hear your husbands perspective as it's his bedroom too, so if you haven't already make sure you're having a honest conversation about this together and come up with a plan you both agree with.

I'm not sure where you guys are from but here it is suggested and considered healthy for a baby to co sleep in the parents room up until 12 months as it decreased the likelihood of SIDS. This was advised by many including his pediatrician. So I'm not sure where you're coming up with the 6-7 months.

As per my PTSD, I really don't want to talk to anyone else about it because I have talked to many therapists and I too am a Mental health therapist and I've been told I've got a pretty good handle on it. My coming here was asking for more advice on how to handle it, what to do to make it a little easier on me. My son is my first baby and I have the first time mom jitters, its my first time going through this so I imagine I am not the only one going through this.

6 months is recommendation in UK, a lot of parents may move baby into own room earlier and some later.
13 months is a long time to have them with you so will feel weird him suddenly being in a different room, however the amount of stress it seems to be causing you isn't a normal reaction. As PP said of the quiet is too much for you get your own white noise machine but if you are moving him you need to commit and do it and don't bring him back in or you are just prolonging this phase

In England 6 months room sharing is the minimum. recommended .

We room/bed shared until about 3. As getting a full night's sleep was prioritised over independence. With hindsight we should have made the transition earlier!

To be honest 'firsts' are always going to be hard - be it weaning, own room, starting nursery, school, learning to drive etc.

I think you and your partner need to be on the same page. Acknowledge it's going to be hard. Make sure your ptsd is as under control as it can be and that you aren't projecting. As others have said if a white noise machine will help you and you can afford it then get one. Would it help during the transition if you camped out in baby's bedroom and then moved into hall and then finally back in own bed? Even if it takes a few months? I don't have ptsd or anxiety but it's still hard when your baby gains more independence.

I was the same as you. I could not do it and my anxiety over attempting it and the build up to that was horrendous. She didn't want to and I didn't want to. We did it when she was four but bed shared up to that point.

She still sleeps with me sometimes but knows her room is her room.

OP honestly - do what makes you happy and comfortable.

In the UK it’s not recommended babies go into their own rooms at 6 months, it’s recommended that babies stay in their parents room for at least 6 months. Some people seem to think that means that at six months old the baby should go into their own room.

We (not just the UK) live in a society where as soon as our babies are born they are pushed to become as independent as quickly as possible. We tell women that if they don’t want to be separated from their baby they must have anxiety or depression etc. wanting to be close to your baby/child is completely normal! Your little one has just turned 1.. he’s still a baby. He’s got the rest of his life to sleep in his own room, and it will happen one day whether that’s tomorrow or in a years time, but if it makes you feel better keeping him in your room then I say continue! I’m sure your baby will be happy with that too.

I have an almost 7 month old and I don’t plan on moving him into his room for a very long time.