8 month old and feeding to sleep

[Bunsie]

So my 8 month old still feeds to sleep! It doesn't matter if he wakes twice in the night or 10 times each time he will not settle or go over to sleep until he is fed and sometimes just uses me as a pacifier. When I try to move away he begins to feed again. He will not take a dummy or a bottle after trying multiple ones over months and months. My husband works away so it's out of the question to just send him in and I know the baby can smell milk on me so if I try to just shush or pat or rock he pulls at my top and tries to nuzzle his way to the breast and gets really upset which is understandable as it must be confusing for him. He has never slept through the night and still wakes twice on a very good night. I just want advice from anyone that has been in the same position. I don't not want to stop breastfeeding I just want him to get used to going over without feeding constantly. I know it's not hunger but a sleep comfort for him. Anyone tried any gentle approaches that have worked. I'm not looking for opinions on the CIO method as it's just bit for me. Any other advice?

Given you're now at 8 months without starting any gentle sleep training methods, then if you do nothing baby is likely to be ready for independent sleep in about the same time-frame as gentle sleep training starting now.

I'd suggest you set your expectations that baby will use you as a comfort mechanism through to pre-school age. So he'll grow out of this somewhere between 3y and 5y.

If you don't already, cosleeping will get you the most sleep. Maybe make plans for a floor bed as baby becomes more mobile.

I'm not suggesting cosleeping is 'The Right Answer', it's not what I'd do in your situation. But any other option that would get baby sleeping independently is going to involve (lots of) crying. Personally, I'd wait until 12 months old and then do controlled crying to get baby to learn self comforting. But I get - and respect - you don't want to.

I guess what I mean is, there is no Magic Answer that will give you an independent settling toddler / older baby without it bring a distressing process. So better for you to set realistic expectations that you're likely to still be doing this for the next 2-4 years.