Co-sleepers - how long did it take before you gave in & accepted you are co-sleepers???

[choolie]

DS is 10mo, already a poor sleeper, things got worse 2 months ago, after 8 weeks of one illness after another. As he's a BF baby, there's always been a little element of co-sleeping, usually just after the 5am feed, but since being ill, I can't pinpoint when it happened exactly, but he spends the whole night in the bed once we go up. - We realised us going to bed prob disturbs him as he wakes every time we go up, so DH shockingly suggested we move his cot into his own room yest, took us both by surprise and we just did it before thinking too hard about it or we never would have, but DS still woke just after we got into bed, so I brought him in with us.

I've always optimistically thought his sleep would get better as he cut down his night feeds, but he shows no sign of giving them up either, so I'm wondering if I just need to deep sigh and accept we're co-sleepers for now and just enjoy it. - He bit me badly a couple of months ago whilst feeding and I've started introducing a bottle at night as could only feed one-sided as it still hasn't healed, however, he takes the bottle and then still wants the BF in a hour or two, so I feel he still needs the comfort and will give up when he's ready, and the same about his sleep, he needs the comfort of us being close and will learn to sleep longer like this until his sleep does get better. - Am I kidding myself???

Be most grateful for any thoughts, experiences etc.

Gosh how tiring. Poor DS though- 8 weeks of illness is really hard for him and you ! We've been there. My inclination is to say that he will give up and he probably needs the comfort co-sleeping provides him with. You don't have to think it's forever - take it one day at a time. I thought mine would both never sleep through and each night they do - in their own cot and bed is a night I'm grateful for. But if they don't I tell myself that this is really such a short period in all our lives, they are growing so fast and I should enjoy the co-sleeping when it happens. Nothing nicer then your toddler cuddled up or your baby slumbering next to you. Good luck with whatever happens!

Thanks Lucy, that's how I'm feeling I suppose, he snuggles up and it feels so precious, but my sleep is suffering - what is it with co-sleeping babies that they like to spread out horizontally, arms flung out to the side???

I'm hoping for someone to come along and say they've been co-sleepers and it magically improves the baby's sleep eventually. DS just wakes crying every couple of hours and as much as I'd really like to improve the length of his sleep for all of us, I equally just want to teach him that sleep is a really good thing to enjoy and he doesn't need to be afraid of it.

I've done quite a bit of co-sleeping with ds2. As with you it partly crept up on us. The first few months were deliberate - and very pleasant. It was when we ended up co-sleeping out of desperation, rather than pleasure that things began to go wrong.

Cretainly it's easier, once they get bigger, to co-sleep on your onw with them (ie either you (with babe) or dh get banished to another bed). But the more I co-slept with ds, the worse he slept, waking for a feed more and more frequently, until at last he wanted to sleep with myboob in his mouth - dummying.

The only way we found to break the cycle was to put him in his own room and to have dh go to him - and stay, if necessary - when he woke, and only let me feed him every 3-4h. And I must must must not fall asleep duirng the feed. It was a bit painful, but he was never left alone to cry. After about 3 nights of this he would go back to waking 3-hourly and I would resettle him with a feed.

Ummm, dd is 3.8 and still co-sleeps. We just never got around to buying her a cot! She does have her own bed now of course normally sleeps with us. I love it, wouldn't change it for the world.

She sleeps like an angel though, we've never,ever had that getting-up-in-the-night tiredness. Don't understand why everyone doesn't co-sleep actually.

Because when a co-sleeping baby sleeps, it is sheer bliss. But when they want to feed through the night, and you can't budge because they want your boob in their mouth all the time, and then they get more and more distressed and restless from about 3-4am because they need winding but won't comme off the boob, and instead of having a few hours sleep you are shattered and sore...well thenn co-sleeping is a nightmare.

prettycandles I think that's our prob too, his feeding at night had started to get better, but has got worse the last few weeks again as everytime he stirs now, he snuggles up to me with his mouth open headbutting my boob, then pulling at my top if I don't oblige straight away. He only actually "feeds" for a couple of minute then it's just comfort sucking. I can generally end the feed at this stage, but hour or two later he's at it again!

Wow, I guess I was just really lucky then! I did have nights like that, but not all the time. It stops eventually though, because I'd forgotten.

We don't any more, but I just felt like telling you that for about a year, we slept - me, dh and our 2 sons, on 2 double beds pushed together in our room.

Me and dh were just SOOO knackered and becoming ill with keep getting up in the night to put the boys back to bed. This way, we all jut slept together and it was so so so much better.

They were - I'm trying to think now 3 - 4yrs old when we started all sleeping together.

I'm glad they are in their own beds now but I do look back on that time fondly. It was really nice to all sleep together. To wake up with everyone. It was the best my kids ever slept as well!

about a month i have a wicked pic of us co sleeping with hetr at 10 months

I am not sure that I am a co sleeper, yet must be now as dd who is 5 has been in my bed since august.

shows no signs of leaving.!

with gave up co sleeping when we stopped breastfeeding hoping shed sleep thru bt she didnt

for another two months i loved it though every moment

Completely accepted?

About 1.5 children. I even tried controlled crying with DS#1 but it didn't work apart from making DH and I row . And we kept trying to put him in his bed. Started off again with DD but gave up fairly soon. Not looked back since.

I started co-sleeping when dd was about 3 months old (she's now a year) - we did it as she was a terrible sleeping. I thought I'd never co-sleep and that she SHOULD sleep in her own room. However, night after night of no sleep and utter exhaustion soon changed that! Initially I couldn't sleep at all in the bed with her as she was so wriggly and I was concious of her every move. Now though - I'm really used to it and sleep really deeply. I find that I can't settle as well if she isn't in bed with us.

I love co-sleeeping now - it feels so natural and lovely. She'll not want to do it forever so I'm relishing the time that I can snuggle up to her now. She also seems to love it and as I now work 4 days a week it's nice to have that contact at night.

She's still a poor sleeper - if she wakes in the night now - I turn her on her side facing away from me and snuggle up behind her and say 'Shhhhh, shhhhh' in her ear - works in no time!!!

We started cosleeping as soon as DS was born, and we still do it. We'll keep doing it until we wants to be in his own bed (obviously this is a commitment, but it won't be when he's fifteen, probably closer to 5-6, so we're enjoying the closeness while we can, though this isn't without it's own complexities, see my post CALLING ALL CO-SLEEPERS).

[takes breath after seriously run-on sentence]

lol this has just made me realise that this is us... we totally are co sleepers i just hadn't admitted it.

I often wonder why it is that whatever time we go to bed, it could be 9pm or 1am, dd2 (8mo) almost always sleeps in her cot up to that point, but within fifteen minutes of turning the light out in our room (and it's not a light thing - we've experimented with that too) she is awake?? This is after having slept through dd1 having a shower, stomping about, probably being hissed at by one of us, calling us becase she's forgotten her whatever essential item she needs for sleep (currently one of those free eye masks you get on the aeroplane) and then through the peaceful silence after she has finally gone to bed, so it's not a slience thing either... Somehow she just KNOWS when we're in bed!

She smells you. Seriously.

I co-clept with Gecko from birth
I wanted some sleep
She can smell me near her and sleeps better....ish

Our dd is 4 in March and still sleeps in our bed. We put her back into her own bed when we go to bed but she pops back in during the night. To begin with it really hacked us off but now I love it! I'm presuming, like others have said that she will decide when she wants her own space. Like how she asks me to leave her alone when she's having a poo now!

oh so tell me this isnt a bad thing then, because at the moment we are fighting with DS (21mo) wakes up screaming and wont go back to sleep in his cot, so we bring him in with us and some of the time he'll sleep well.
I keep getting the impression that this is a bad thing to do, but your all making me feel better now.

Its a sort of new year resolution to go with the flow more and not worry that the thing you love most in the world would want to be near you as much as possible...even during the night. I love the thought of your child being able to smell you whilst sleeping.

Refering to your title. Depends who I'm talking to as to how much info I give them. Most people I've spoken to either frown or pass negative comments so I generally only talk about it to either support someone else or to those that I know are co-sleepers.

My DD is 16 months and we cosleep every night. Thinking about trying to change it just because I wake at every movement and she moves a lot! However, won't do anything that causes too many tears. (mine as well as hers because I love curling up next to her and snuggling and dozing in the morning)

She is now however sleeping A LOT better than at 10 months. Since about a year she's started to settle better and sleep more solidly. We've even had a handful of 'sleep throughs'

oh thank you for the extra replies! yes, i must admit, agree with LO can smell mum - his cafe, DS has started to feed more when in bed with me - or at least pull at my top when he stirs. But then again, he lunged at my boobs last night and tonight whilst in the bath together and latched himself on and helped himself thankfully biten boob now fully recovered (we don't co-everything in this house, just comfort thing at the moment, he's getting used to nursery this week before my return to work in a couple of weeks ).

Yes ginger, I am very selective now as to who I tell about the co-sleeping (um...my sis! that's about it! - altho' popped into work last week and one lovely woman I was chatting to said her 6yr old still found his way into their bed most nights, she didn't even wake up mostly, it was so refreshing that somebody thought it was so totally normal!)

Thanks again ladies for all the replies, it really is heartwarming when you feel like you're the only one and that you're building that rod out of steel for your back, when actually you just need to be proud of your choices and enjoy what you're doing .

did a bit for 6 months when feeding at night, then for a year we were all in our own rooms, then when she hit 2.4 she started coming into our bed between midnight and 3am, we don't bother putting her back as she sleeps and we sleep (dh gets kicked out occaisionally).

To be honest I love it, I love waking up with her, and quite often I have to leave before she wakes, and I get to cuddle her before I leave. If on the very rare occaision she doesn't come in and we miss her.