Can't nap when baby does as I have a toddler. Feeling low.

[Lottiebugz22]

I'm Exhausted. My 6 month old is waking every 20 minutes at night since weaning. She has formula and food each day. She has a routine with good naps (2 hours max) 3 naps a day.

What am I doing wrong?! I'm surviving on 0 sleep right now. I can't eat or drink because I'm too tired. Everything makes me feel sick.

I've got no help right now with the kids and partner doesn't wake up to help. I feel so low. What can I do.

Your partner needs to start pulling their weight.

Could your baby be teething. Try anbesol liquid and nurofen to see if it makes a difference. Or could they have an ear infection?

Would you try cosleeping?

Why doesn't your partner wake up?
Is there anyone else who can take over some care during the day so you can get some sleep?
Can the toddler go to daycare/preschool for a few mornings or days per week?

Because this situation is not sustainable and also unsafe when it continues. How can you take care of your kids in a safe manner this way? Let alone take care of yourself.

Does your partner help in any other way?

Your partner is the issue here. Presumably he knows how low you’re feeling but still doesn’t do anything to help at night?
I had a similar situation. My 6 month old woke every 40 mins and I had a toddler at home all day too.
I slept in the spare room for a couple of weeks. DH tried to settle the baby when she woke. If she really wouldn’t settle, he’d bring her to me for a feed (breastfeeding). It meant I was being woken every 3 hours ish rather than every 40 mins.
He needs to wake up in the night. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

I can only afford to send her a couple of mornings a week to pre school. He just says he doesn't hear but I think he chooses not to. I agree it's not safe.
I feel ill I'm so tired. I've tried anbesol, white noise. Tried Co sleeping but I'm too scared of rolling on her. I think she just wants me for cuddles which is fine but I can't survive on no sleep. Its every night.

@Lottiebugz22

I can only afford to send her a couple of mornings a week to pre school. He just says he doesn't hear but I think he chooses not to. I agree it's not safe. I feel ill I'm so tired. I've tried anbesol, white noise. Tried Co sleeping but I'm too scared of rolling on her. I think she just wants me for cuddles which is fine but I can't survive on no sleep. Its every night.

Then you wake him up. Or sleep in another room while he deals with the baby. At the moment he’s just showing that he doesn’t give a shit how exhausted you are. His sleep is paramount.

I've been there, and it's brutal. Your partner needs to help out because sleep deprivation will not only affect you, but your partner and children too. If for some reason he doesn't, then I really would reccommend co-sleeping in the short term. Look up safe co sleeping on the Lullaby Trust website, and go for it. She won't develop bad sleeping habits, but actually having you there everytime she wakes up will help settle her back to sleep quicker, as she may be going though a sleep regression or pain at night. It will pass, and remember this is just a phase, and WILL GET BETTER!!

Just put her to sleep in her cot as you normally do, and only bring her into bed with you if she keeps wakig and doesn't resettle. Everytime she wakes up, put your hand on her and pat, or shush, to comfort her and she will sleep as she is close to you and can feel and smell you. You need your sleep, so don't worry about sleep habits or anything. Just do this until she sleeps for longer in her cot. Always start her off in the cot first and see how she sleeps before you get her in your bed.

Good luck, and remember this is a phase and will pass!!

Look into safe 7 of cosleeping, I cosleep with my 7 month old from around 4am as she just won't settle. In a cuddle curl position it is virtually impossible to roll onto them.

Thank you for the kind replies x

Agree that cosleeping can be a big help during rough periods. When we've had periods of really bad sleep, we find shifts helpful eg partner takes baby from 7-12 whilst I sleep for 5 hours and then I take over for the rest of the night.

Do you bed share? This was the winner for us. He stayed asleep then

I'm on month 13 with only a few hours sleep at a time, so I hear your pain loud and clear. I know you said you aren't breast feeding but this video is helpful for demonstrating safe sleep positioning. Having a pillow behind my back and between my knees stopped me moving around the bed completely.