Toddler sleep help

[NCSleephelp]

Please help I’m tearing my hair out here.
I’m a single parent to a two year old and I am losing my mind over his (lack of) sleep.
He’s gone from being very consistent, where he’d fall asleep in my bed and I’d pick him up and put him in his cot once he was asleep- to absolutely refusing to sleep unless I’m right there with him and any attempt to put him in his cot ends with wailing and screaming and climbing out of the cot.

It feels like being held hostage by my own son. He can lie here for hours awake and if I try and leave then it’s he end of the world.
His dad sees him once a week but never overnight. I’ve never had a night off.

It used to be that I could put him down and go downstairs and have some time to myself but now he’s constantly waking and needing to be settled again. I’m starting to feel cross at him for taking away the one time of day that I felt kept me sane while being a full time single parent, and I know that’s not fair and it’s not his fault.

He’s absolutely resistant to spending a full night in his cot and I know I’ve made this worse by letting him sleep in my bed but I’m so tired and just want some peace and quiet.

I know I’ve painted myself into a corner here, so how do I get myself out of it?

Hi! I have no solid advice but my 2.5 yo DS has just this week started back sleeping through the night after 4 months of an everlasting regression so try not to stress.

We let him sleep in with us when it was that or not sleep at all but once he started to settle down a few weeks ago we started going back to his normal routine and it’s just clicked with him again finally.

Hope it gets better for you soon

Be firm and consistent. Short term pain for long term again. Have a good routine which should include story time, then put him into his cot/bed, say goodnight and leave. If he’s upset, go back in and comfort him, say goodnight and leave. Repeat repeat repeat. Try to think of it that you’re teaching him, in the same way you teach him everything else. He needs to learn to self settle. A few nights should do it and he’ll be a much happier boy for it

Unfortunately if I leave the room he follows. I can’t stop him climbing out of his cot and he utterly refuses to lay in his cot when he’s even the slightest bit awake, so it’s pretty impossible to settle him in it.

I do have a stairgate at the top of the stairs but I don’t like him going up to it just in case.

I’m willing to do the things suggested, but I just can’t tonight. He’s been screaming since about 7 every time I try and leave and now I’ve just given up. I want to get him excited about sleeping in his own bed but he seems to see it as a punishment and screams non stop if he’s in it.

Have you tried putting a stair gate on his bedroom door? That’s what we’ve done and it’s been great. He’s probably screaming because he knows that screaming means he’ll eventually get his way - you’ll get him up or allow him into your bed. You need to lovingly and calmly keep reinforcing bedtime boundaries. If he’s screaming, comfort him, cuddle him, kiss him but try not to engage too much. Say goodnight and put him back in his cot. You might have to do it 50 times the first night, but the moment you allow him in your bed, all the hard work is undone unfortunately