how can I calm DD down in the night?

[Mung]

I was hoping, that like DS, my DD would sleep through from 2 months. She doesn't and I have been able to accept waking once in the night, feed her and go back to bed. Recently, she has been ill and the pattern has changed and she is waking 4 or 5 times. A couple of these times I just bf her and she goes back to sleep. The other times she is just unconcolable and I feel desperate that even a cuddle or being taken into my cosy bed does not help her calm down.

I feel like a totally rubbish mother who doesn't know how to calm her own DD down, so any tips for soothing her would be gratefully received.

Mung, mainly bumping you here for people with more experience. However, how old is you DD?

dont EVER think you are a rubbish mother because you cant soothe your baby. They pick up on every tiny little feeling that you feel so will be anxious regardless!

Prob doesnt answer you q about settling dd but when i was rocking my ds and he was driving me insane i used a breathing/visulisation technique. You close your eyes and take a deep breath in and visualize what ever colour you feel is a happy colour (mine is yellow) and you can see this colour breathing into your body and then when you breath out (deeply) you are breathing out a colour that you feel is an angry colour (mine is black) and you can see it blowing out of the window.

Breath in and out deeply and slowly concentrating on the 2 colours and seeing the angry colour going out the window. If nothing else will give you something else to concentrate. I also used earplugs whilst doing it. Even helps now if in middle of night and ds wakes up.

Have you tried rubbing/patting her back and doing a constant ssshsshing noise? Does she have a dummy or a comforter?

Agree with mad4mybaby about the white noise/ssshsshing idea. I find that a fan blowing near DS can also help calm him down (air moving over his face) and would consider taking him outside if necessary (ensuring he didn't get cold).

Thanks for the tips. Just to answer some questions:
DD is 9 months
She doesn't have a dummy, but she has this 'doudou' toy thing that she always has in bed. However, when she is giving it all the screaming and flailing about the doudou is the first thing to get thrown.

I left the heating on last night in case she was too cold and she only woke at 3, then I fed her and she went straight back to sleep. I went back to bed hopefull, but at 4 she was awake moaning again. It wasn't real cries, just tired moans and I left her for a while. Then I decided to go in and try to comfort her, but it made her worse and I ended up feeding her laying down in my bed in the hope that she would sleep. Eventually she went to sleep and I managed to doze a little in the meantime.

I will try the ssshssshing a bit more and see if that works, although DH wants to just leave her to cry it out.