Struggling with monotony

[SarahDay1990]

My LO is 3 weeks old and I’m already struggling with the monotony of it all. I feel like I spend my entire day trying to get her to nap. She never ever drifts off after a feed so I spend hours of the day rocking and tapping her. She will also then only sleep on me. Never sleeps in pram or car seat (just screams) if she gets overtired it’s even harder to get her to sleep. Feel like a prisoner to her naps…

The early weeks are tough, I completely understand. Will baby go in a sling? That way she's snuggled next to you but you can walk about and do things. Ive found it's better to get them in it when they're basically asleep already.

Yes she will go in the sling but it’s backbreaking wearing it all day…just wish she would just sleep without needing so much help…

She's 3 weeks old. It's going to take a long time for her to adjust to the outside world. Read up on the 4th trimester. Relax about naps. Enjoy the cuddles they will t last forever and you will miss them when they don't want them anymore

It will get better. You are still a fair way off it getting better but it will get better. My DS was the same. From 48h old he never just ‘drifted off to sleep’ - he’d require an insane amount of effort (think continuously walking outside with him in the sling, or breastfeeding him while bouncing on a yoga ball in the dark). I remember at about 8 weeks PP seeing someone on here saying that the default for a newborn baby is to be asleep. I didn’t know wether to laugh or cry. I used to feel simmering rage when people would say ‘YoU cAn TaKe A nEwBoRn AnYwHeRe’. Not all of them you fecking can’t. He too could stay awake for hours, wide eyed and eventually screaming in the pram. Getting him to switch off was incredibly hard work.

It got better at about 4 or 5 months when we fell into a more predictable routine. It was still hard work to get him to sleep and we had a long phase of 30 minute naps, but the day didn’t revolve around trying to get him to sleep so much - he started falling asleep in the car which helped (has never slept in the buggy to this day) so I could take him to a sensory class or swimming, for example.

He’s now a pretty good sleeper at nearly 2 and is streaks ahead in turns of development. I don’t think he’s gifted or anything, but he’s very bright and still notices everything going on around him, which really was the issue when he was a newborn. We did some very gentle sleep training (basically night weaned with gradual withdrawal) at about 10 months and he took to it completely fine. He’s been able to self settle ever since and having a few naps and an evening back since then has been a godsend.

I won’t tell you to soak it up and enjoy it because I hated the newborn stage and it’s what stops me having another. Just survive it, accept your experience is going to be different to what is peddled in antenatal groups and social media and it won’t be this way forever. Do whatever it takes to get them to nap because your day will, in the long run be easier. Every stage feels easy compared to this, honestly.