Does it get better? 9 month old wakes every 30Mins! Can’t sleep train:(

[sowgirl]

Please… someone tell me it gets better 😂.
my son has never been a great sleeper. He suffers with cows milk protein allergy so that used to be the cause of his bad sleep. However now he has a habit of breastfeeding to sleep … and he does this every 30/45 mins every single night.
i know, everyone’s telling me I have to sleep train and I have tried multiple times. I just can’t do it I physically don’t have it in me. From the moment I put him down in his cot he screams, stands up and is so distressed he vomits. When I go and get him he’s shaking with tears down his face 😢😢
I really just am after some comfort from anyone who’s ever been in a situation like me? Do they ever get better by themselves or do I have to sleep train, because I really don’t think I can !

He's not getting enough milk then is he? Have you tried formula top ups for your sanity?

I’ve ordered some formula for tomorrow so fingers crossed it helps if he has a bottle before bed. I thought it was just a sleeping habit to be honest - I didn’t think he was hungry

Is he weaning now? Perhaps he needs more food rather than milk.

Also try to cut down his sleeping in the day.

He’s quite a good eater but still has quite a lot of milk feeds i just don’t know how to say no when he clearly wants milk.

Also, I will try cutting down the sleep! Thanks for the advice

I know it's tough, im sorry you're feeling like this.

Perhaps post your routine and bed time routine so we can make suggestions?

What's his day sleep routine?

Could you start by rocking rather than BF to sleep then gradually sleep train?

Nothing you've said indicates he isn't getting enough milk. Have you got other concerns here?

My eldest was like this. Hold on in there. It’s utterly awful but they do eventually get there. He didn’t reliably sleep through until he was 5, I’m afraid, but waking every 90 minutes faded when he was about 11 months. I think…it’s all a bit of a fog.

My advice would be to cosleep if you don’t want to sleep train, or try the no cry sleep solution

His sleep day routine will be something like this on the average day

He will wake up around 8:30am
He has a nap at 11;30am - 12;30 ish
He then usually has a nap at around 3:30-5:00 ish
(His naps are usually in a pram, baby carrier or on the breast - it’s the only way I can seem to get him to nap at the moment)

Then we will start the bedtime routine, he has his bath, we get dry, pjs on and a story, I feed him - in my bed and he will sleep in with us. He’s usually in bed by 8ish , we start bed time around 7:15

And then the constant waking commences.

It’s nice to hear from someone who’s been there! I think I’m insane but I do like to hope one day he might just suddenly start sleeping though

@sowgirl if he's allergic to dairy I'm assuming you ordered hydrolysed milk for him. Had he ever taken hydrolysed formula? If he hasn't you're in for a battle as they're quite rank to smell and taste and it is literally a battle to get baby drinking it after 12 weeks especially if baby has been on breast milk. Not wanting to scare you but just giving you a heads up.

I have a 9 month old and she's currently waking up more. From my experience 9 months is pretty tough. My first had CMPA and 9 months was horrendous, he woke literally every hour at one stage and I had just gone back to work.
I didn't sleep train because I couldn't especially with his allergies. He got better but it took a while, I night weaned at 21 months as I was happy with his food intake at that stage.
Sorry I don't have any suggestions just want to say it will get better. Is he learning a new skill? Mine isn't settling tonight, I've come back from yoga and she's screaming so fed her and trying to put her down.

His daytime sleep seems about right, I think you're perhaps doing the second nap a bit late so he isn't tired before bed time.

If he will sleep in the pushchair start there with rocking. Anything to get him asleep without BF.

@mishmased thanks for the reply I’ve just got some prescribed from the GP today to have a go … I have heard it’s rank so thanks for the heads up
Half of me is happy to continue the co sleeping and feeding etc.. just wishing I could have a night off to go out for a meal with friends again.. how did you get on in those 21 months?
it didn’t even come into mind that his allergy may still effect his sleeping.

Yeah I do wonder sometimes if he’s sleeping too late … there has been occasions when he wakes up at 5;30pm which isn’t ideal

I think I’ll get dad to try rocking him over the weekend and see how we get on

I am in a similar boat with my 9 month old. My older son was also similar (though not quite as wakeful). He did go on to gradually do longer stretches and finally sleep through regularly from age 2. We never sleep trained the stretches of sleep did just gradually get longer. It’s very tough so solidarity to you.

how is his weight? Feed him as much as you possibly can in the day - anything with calories in it. can he have cheese & butter? can he have nuts or meat? can you add olive oil or another oil to any purees etc? the fruit & veg that seems healthy for adults doesn't have enough calories for a baby and he might be feeding all the time because he needs more nutrients. mini pasta shapes are good with olive oil / butter / cheese. Also scrambled eggs or poached salmon.

if food isn't the issue, then make daytime as cheerful and engaging as possible (very hard when you are tired). then at night, be boring. no chatter, no eye contact, no engagement. act robotic. That means he won't learn that nighttime is a fun time to play with mum & get a reaction, and he might be more tempted to sleep.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.channelmum.com/a/gradual-retreat-sleep-training-method

Gradual retreat sleeping training is where you stay in the room with them. Might be worth considering. I often recommend on here as worked so well with my DS

It’s not that he isn’t getting enough milk. Formula won’t help at all. It’s that he is using boob to help him link his sleep cycles so if you want him to be less reliant on this then you need to stop feeding to sleep or letting him nap on the boob. No judgement at all, I’m the same with mine who is 10 months and also CMPA. But introducing the hassle of formula won’t help here. Look at more gentle sleep training rather than just putting him in his cot, there’s ways you can teach them gradually over time.

Your last nap is too late but you are on much later timings than most people so maybe it doesn’t matter. Mine wakes at 6.30, naps 10-11 then again from 2.30-3.30 then bed at 7. 5pm would be way too late to wake up for her but her whole day is shifted earlier so if you want to maintain those waking and bedtimes then nap times are probably ok.

@becca3210 thanks for that, I’ve had a look though and as soon as he goes into his cot the screaming starts and it doesn’t stop until he’s picked up - so I don’t know where I’d even begin with that one :(

Ps. I’d echo a pp above, I will be truly amazed if you manage to get him to take that dairy free formula, it tastes like sick 🤢 he will 1000% prefer boob. There’s nothing wrong with your milk anyway, and if you want to stop BFing then you might as well just wait until he’s 1 and he can have oat milk in a cup.

@soootiredddd thanks for the reply! It’s not so much that I want to stop BF - I don’t mind at all. I just think I’m getting abit desperate now for that little bit extra amount of sleep.
I just was wondering if it would fill him for longer as that’s what I tend to hear with formula

@sowgirl it was tough. He didn't sleep longer than 2 hours and I just carried on. He is my first so no other child to look after. He also has eczema so if he starts crying he starts sweating and starts scratching. He also had reflux.
My suggestion would be to feed him well, if he falls asleep move him to the other breast and feed him using breast compression so he doesn't fall asleep on the breast. Once you're happy he's had enough then don't feed for another two hours regardless of how many times he wakes, let your husband settle him. If you think he's had his 3 meals and breastfeeds he should be able to go a minimum of 2 hours without being fed. He will cry but his dad will soothe him. If you can do this consistently for a couple of nights he hopefully it will help. Only do this if you're happy to do it. If you're happy to continue co sleeping do (I did with my first but current baby has been in her room since 6 months).
Also try not to feed baby in his room before bed, keep the room for sleeping and let his dad put him to bed. Some days you may need to but make it his job to put baby to sleep.

Remember you can try and wait it out for say another 3-4 weeks because 9 months is a tricky one further complicated with allergies.

My non allergic baby is up after a breastfeed and chatting to herself. Her sleep has gone to pots literally since two weeks ago (9.5 months). She started pulling herself to stand yesterday so maybe loads of activities going on in their little brains.

Are you getting nutramigen or Neocate?

Totally disagree with @AppleDoghnuts re formula. Why would that help? He's getting loads of BM which is way healthier anyway. I would cosleep if that in anyway helps. Could it be teeth or maybe get a GP to check ears , throat etc in case he is unwell maybe.?