Nursery sleep.

[ChittyBang1987]

Hi everyone.

My lo goes nursery twice a week until I return to work. 930am till 330pm. It's going good apart from her crying when I leave, but she's fine within 5 minutes.

Anyways I have made it clear that she has a sleep for 1 hour in the morning (10am ish, may be 945am) and about the same if not a little more in afternoon about 215pm ish. I always wake her by 345pm ish. Then she goes to bed about 4 hours later.

I do wake her from each nap as my kid is low sleep needs, and more sleep doesn't beget sleep in our lo case.

My issue is that nursery are putting her down about 10 30am, letting her sleep as long as she wants, which usually sleeps about 1 hour to 1 hour 20 minutes.

Then, she won't go down for another nap at nursery. So I'm having to deal with an overtired mess and putting her to sleep when we get home from 350 pm to 4pm for 30 to 40 minutes to combat this overtiredness and get her through to bedtime.

Any ideas? I even told nursery today to put her down to one nap after lunch as she has done that a few times. Yet, she still went to sleep at 1035am for an hour and a half. So, she had to have a nap when home.

Any suggestions? Or suck it up?

I’ve had to suck it up. Totally feel your pain. DS nursery have a no intervention policy re sleep so they sleep when they want for as long as they want which means v v late and drawn out bedtimes for us. Short of moving him there’s nothing I can do!

Are the nursery opposed to your schedule or just not getting round to it?

Sorry OP but I have just had to email the nursery manager AGAIN today because despite me asking them again and again not to let DS sleep for hours on end they still keep letting him! I’m pregnant and cannot deal with a 2 year old running around at 11pm every single bloody time this happens.

So sorry; no advice (my emails have gone from being super polite, breezy, cheerful to “please can you actually respect my wishes”). But you have my sympathy and understanding.

I'm so glad you feel my pain in the nicest way possible. I thought you might say suck it up 😆 🤣 I didn't even know that sort of policy existed?!

Well, they say she's tired at 1030am, which she probably is. Once, they put her down at 1130am and slept 30 minutes all day. I was purely livid, and they asked why she was so clingy all afternoon because shes tired, maybe??? I actually couldn't speak to them about it that day. She was a mess!!! I can stretch her awake times, but it literally has to be on good nap days I can do past 4 hours before bed.

I'm waffling. I say to them every time I drop them off what I have been doing as I find sleep changed again recently. I write in her book, 1 hour in the morning, 1 hour 15 minutes in the afternoon. I'm not sure how much clearer I can be.

Maybe I need to actually say, wake her up. I just don't see how they expect a 1 year old to go from say 1130am or 12pm until 730pm to 8pm bed 🤔 😐

Oh wow!!! I feel for you!! That's horrible and have filled me with dread 😆 thinking I will definitely have to suck it up.

I have been really nice about it so far and dealt with it, but I have to say patience is wearing thin.

It's odd, they don't respect my wishes about this, yet ask permission to give a cup of cows milk in the mid afternoon 🤦‍♀️

Hi Chitty Bang, I wonder if they're trying to get her to sleep at 10 rather than for 10 if you see what I mean? She's only just going to have arrived at that point anyway isn't she so likely won't be adjusted enough to the environment to sleep at that time I'd imagine? It's probably really difficult for them to get her to sleep?

We had similar problems which resulted in ds only ever taking one nap a day there from 10 months old. It was miserable with him often spending the entire evening crying until he was asleep. He now manages the one nap at nearly 15 months. We just had to wait it out I'm afraid.

Perhaps. I see what you mean. She doesn't need a lot to get her to sleep, tbh. As long as she has white noise, a dummy in her hand, a dummy in her mouth, and darkness(unless shes desperate to sleep as she will sleep as long as she has the other things) she's pretty set to go. She self soothes too, and if she's that tired, she's asleep within 5 minutes maximum. Then do say she's easy to get to sleep, and she tells them when she's tired, she literally lies down in their arms when she's ready. It's like they don't want to wake a sleeping baby. Which I know is like a cardinal sin to some people to do 😆 🤣

Yes, I was afraid people will be saying that 😔

As long as she has white noise, a dummy in her hand, a dummy in her mouth, and darkness

And there is your problem. She needs a lot of input to go to sleep which they don't have

OP my nursery was the same but it is ofsted guidance not to wake up a baby from a nap and this was given as a reason.

I've seen a few other threads on this topic and nursery workers have confirmed this is the case. Some nurseries do still wake babies but many do follow this guidance and refuse to wake babies up (mine do this)

No advice but just wanted to say this may be the reason they won't wake her?

@SexPeopleLynn

Where can I find that Ofsted guidance? I asked lots of times for baby to be woken especially after 3pm!

The nursery she goes to have a room for travel cots and is dark and able to play her white noise, and give her spare dummy in hand. She's asleep within 5 minutes when they put her down.

Ohhh I see. So maybe this is why?

OP could she not have an early morning nap then an early afternoon one?

We get to nursery at 930am. I think she's too excited by everything. Even at home, I can't put her down till 945, and she doesn't fall asleep till 10 am. So, I don't think she would go for an earlier nap. She needs about 3 5 hours awake time if she's only had an hour in the morning. If she's had over an hour, she needs more like 4 hours awake time. I hope that makes sense.

How old she she?

Why does every nursery do this. Surely someone can manage a nursery where they don't make kids and parents miserable every night. It's fascinating.

She's just turned 1 last week.

@Tillsforthrills I'm not sure where this guidance is written down but if you Google it, it's quoted in lots of nursery policies as 'ofsted rules' and states that they won't wake sleeping babies and they also won't force a child to sleep who isn't ready

So this could very well be the reason.

Of course a bit of flex and input from parents should be included but my nursery are quite strict on it-this became much easier after a month or two when my child did settle into one nap a day along with the other children.