Is this a sign I need to night wean?

[flowerbutt]

My 10 month old DD is on 3 meals a day but doesn't really eat that much solid food at all. She's EBF on demand. On average she probably nurses 4 times a day and throughout the night. I don't know exactly how many times during the night as I'm too knackered to count but it's atleast 3. Some nights it feels like she's latched on all night and just helping herself whenever she wants.

Should I be reducing her milk feeds in the night? I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing but it feels like she doesn't eat as much as she should so is maybe hungry and waking through the night because of it, and then doesn't eat the next day because she's already had loads of milk in the night. It's like a vicious cycle that I can seem to break.

Or, do I just let time run its course and hope that she starts sleeping longer by herself?

This is a very personal decision and as sleeping through the night is developmental milestone there are different schools of thought about whether night weaning is something you need or even should do to your child.

kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/

Some interesting points here.

It's completely biologically normal to feed at night at this age (and older). Breastmilk is different overnight than in the day and contains natural chemicals that induce sleep which is why our clever babies ask for it when they wake!

If she isn't eating much solid food what is she eating? My twins had dropped all night feeds by 10 months and would just have a last big milk as part of night time routine: they were eating though the 10 month foods range you see in the shops and fully on solids - toast, chicken, salmon, sandwiches etc eggs etc but every child is different

Just to say, I am in exactly the same position but DS is 15 months!! It hasn’t run it’s course yet for us so I’m having the same internal debate re night-weaning…

It's up to you when you want to end night feeding but babies of normal weight don't need feeding overnight beyond 6/7 months. They and their stomachs are physiologically big enough by that age to get sufficient intake in the daytime and before bed to last them overnight. I'm sure lots of others can give you suggestions as to how to night wean if that's what you choose to do.

You could cut down her feeds to one or none a night if you wanted. But I don't think you need to worry about solids. She will eat when she's ready. If you cut down milk at night you might find she takes more milk in the day but solids remain unchanged.

Before 12 months old it's not recommended to night wean.

Advice changes over time the sleeping though the night goal was 12 weeks 15 years ago. I don't think many people achieved that and today's thinking is perhaps more enlightened. Hope things work out.

@Garman

Before 12 months old it's not recommended to night wean.

@Garman Where did you read that?

My toddler didn't eat that much at first, she enjoyed solids and was happy to get stuck in but portions were small. I assumed that was normal as they were just figuring the whole thing out.

At 18 months, she eats like a horse and has pretty much night weaned on her own apart from the odd cold/tooth kind of night. I was too lazy to do anything about night feeds and it's figured itself out. That said, I was never knackered and she's always been a speedy feeder so your situation sounds harder.

@WTF475878237NC thank you, that's an interesting read! I've saved that to read again when I'm having another wobble :)

@istandwithukraine were doing BLW so she mainly eats whatever we eat but most of it ends up being thrown on the floor, especially breakfast. She does have a pre-bought baby food pouch every so often if we're out but probably only eats a couple of spoons.

@RosieLee2019 ahh it's very nice to know I'm not alone in this!! 15 months, wow! It's so hard knowing what the best thing to do is. Sometimes I blame myself because I do just automatically shove a boob her way whenever she wakes up in the night as I know it's the way we all get the most rest.

She just seems so reliant on the boob to get to sleep and then isn't able to sleep for very long without it. I feel like I've done something completely wrong because all I hear about are babies sleeping independently and self settling. I feel like it's such an unrealistic expectation of someone so tiny! Feeding to sleep and night time feeds just felt natural so I thought it was what was supposed to happen. Maybe I was being naive?!

You're not being naive at all, you're being a responsive parent. It's biologically normal for babies to fall asleep feeding at the breast and to want to stay there, it's warm, safe, comfy AF and keeps their food source nearby! They're programmed to stay close to their parents especially their mum for security and safety. Milk is their primary source of nutrition until 12 months, so it's jot recommended to reduce feeds overnight or otherwise if they're looking for it.

She will eventually start sleeping longer, helping herself at night is the ideal because you're getting rest and not having to wake properly!

It is natural and you're right, she's only little, a lot of the expectations of babies in our society and unrealistic and put unnecessary pressure on the mums.

@Garman 💜 thank you!

It is what's supposed to happen. You're doing great.

If you are happy to continue to feed in the night then that is totally fine. You will not look back on this time and regret those nighttime cuddles. If lack of sleep is making you feel unhappy in the daytime it is ok to try and reduce her nighttime feeds as well. I night weaned around 11 months and went from 4/5 feeds to 0 in a week and it definitely saved my sanity!

I kept up breastfeeding at night until 1. You're doing great op. It's natural and healthy (but exhausting at times I'll admit!)