5 month old - grumpy and tired but won't sleep!

[PuddingPie16]

Hi Everyone,

A very sleep-deprived Mum here 😞😞

I was lulled into a false sense of security with our first born who was a textbook sleeper during the day and at night. Four years on and we have a five month old who screams horror when it comes to sleep!

He has never slept well. He has napped about 3 times since he was born for longer than an hour and a half and the rest of the time we are lucky to get 40 minutes.

At night he goes down well (held to sleep) but is constantly waking throughout the evening and now is waking throughout the night too again (think this may be regression in addition to his poor sleep..)

I just don't know what to do! He is so fed up because he is so tired and as parents we are exhausted. He wakes crying everytime and only goes back to sleep if he's cuddled and then wakes again crying. However, even if he's cuddled recently that doesn't settle him.

I'm sat typing this as he cries because I thought I'd trying the 'crying it out' method. I feel we have tried everything else and I just don't know what to do 😞

Have we missed the window to get him trained by putting him down awake? We never did this with our eldest but we never faced this much trouble.

Has anyone got any advice please? I feel like such a failure and bad Mum that he is so exhausted x

What have you tried so far? List it out so you don't get a tonne of responses from people suggesting things which you know don't work.

E.g white noise machine, dummy, what's the room temperature? Where does the baby sleep? What does baby sleep in - swaddled, baby sleepbag? etc etc.

Here to help! Let's just get a handle on your set up and what you've tried so far xx

He has always had a white noise machine which worked magically as a newborn but not so much now and again, had a dummy from a couple of months old. Dummy does soothe but if he is frantically crying then it makes no difference. Often cries with the dummy still in his mouth if he wakes.

Sleeps in a dark warm room, in his next to me crib and in a sleeping bag. Used to be swaddled but sleep was the same as in a sleeping bag so neither impact his sleep for the better or worse.

Feel like we have tried all of the suggestions you see. Apart from we do put him down asleep so not sure if the drowsy put into crib would work or not. Issue is the constant waking and always has been to be honest x

So guess it's really the sleep cycle transition that's the issue. I think most babies sleep for around 40 minutes and then transition (light to deep sleep) but babies often struggle with this so wake up temporarily and for some they need all the sleep cues to go back to sleep - resulting in constant 40 minute sleep - wake - sleep - wake

You could try turning the radiator down/off - aim for a 18-19 degree room with a 2.5tog sleep bag. When we fall asleep our body temperature drops (only ever so slightly) but this results in more restful sleep. Maybe cooling the room down but keeping him in a 2.5tog with just a vest on underneath might just help that transition phase?

I would say it's because you hold lo in arms to sleep. Lo needs to be put in cot fully awake, as otherwise they wake up and are no longer sleeping in your arms, so they are annoyed they are no longer asleep in your arms, so lo needs that again.

This sounds really tough. I agree that he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. Do you have a bedtime routine for him? Could you try putting him down drowsy?

Thanks everyone for your help.
At night he has bath, milk and then he pretty much falls asleep straight after his bottle. We don't have to rock him and he does stay asleep once in his crib.
I think the evening wakes may be a sleep regression as he never was that bad. Now he goes to sleep about 7/7:30, has a bottle around 11 and then he wakes around 5.
We find that if we put him down drowsy he either bursts out crying or will stir half an hour later crying. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this? He gets in such a state crying that it will only stop if you pick him up which then takes us back to part of the problem!
I've been looking at sleep training techniques. Is 5 months too young?

Following as my 5 month old is the same. Hasn't slept through the night at all & never sleeps for longer than an hour

DC1 was textbook too 🤪

Ohhh @loveacuppa5 at least we are in this together haha how are you coping?!x

@PuddingPie16

Ohhh *@loveacuppa5* at least we are in this together haha how are you coping?!x

Lots of coffee 😂

The issue is breaking the feed to sleep. Start giving lo bottle downstairs. So when you take lo upstairs lo wakes up so that putting lo fully awake in cot. Not drowsy.

They say no sleep training like CC before 6 months or even a year. Though, I believe there is gentler sleep training. Like sitting by cot, patting lo, or hand pressure on lo. While tapping dummy if lo has it. Shush pat technique I think it's called.

You also have disappearing chair method. Or pick up, put down but not sure on recommended ages