Help me make a bedtime routine

[Stefka]

I am going to start with a routine with my DS for bedtimes. I am thinking of starting to try and have him in bed at 7pm - is that a good time?

I was thinking a bath, change into sleep suit and a feed for sure.

He has a mobile as well that he likes that projects lights onto the roof but I wondered if that is too stimulating? Also I could read him a story. I know he won't understand it but he likes being talked to - but would I do that before or after the feed?

Sounds like a great routine. I'd read the story before the feed.

How old is your DS?

Since DS was 1 we do - change into night nappy and pyjamas around 6.45, sleeping bag on at 7, upstairs and into his cot, and then a story so that he settles down in the cot whilst one of us is there. When he still needed milk right before bed, I did that in his room and then he went into the cot for the story.
It's good to have a portable routine, so that you aren't dependant on things like a bath which can be a pain when you are away.

Agree with mimizan. I've always found that to make a good routine, you have to be quite rigid particularly at first. My ds's are now 2 and 5 and go to bed really well. We can be a bit more flexible now eg in the holidays, but they know that bedtime means bedtime.
You'll feel great getting your evenings back too.

7pm bedtime has worked for us since dd was very small and she's now nearly 4. We do dinner at 5, bath at 6, story just before 7 and bed at 7. I would do the story before the feed but probably in the same place and right before it. How old is he?
Personally I wouldn't use the light up mobile as he could grow to depend on it and as he gets older it will take him longer to drop off and you'll have to keep going back in to turn it off! Could also be bit too stimulating.
(My dd is nearly 4 so I'm probably not the best person to give advice but I'm due again soon so am soaking all info up!)

Only 10 weeks so it is early days but I thought I might as well start as I mean to go on and at the moment we are having a terrible time with him getting to sleep. I think we keep him up too late and he gets overtired.

He's very little still. We didn't start the story until they were about 8 months. I'd do everything you suggested but maybe sing a lullaby instead of a story when you put him down in the cot.

Stefka - our dd is nearly 2 now and has been in a routine since being pretty young though we can't remember when (it's terrible how you forget things). It was probably between 2-3 months. We did used to quietly read a short story to her - I agree that the mobile would probably be too stimulating. I know it sounds young to be looking at books but by the time she was about 7 months she was turning the pages herself and has always loved books so I don't see it as a bad thing. I think the time and routine you have suggested is great. We were quite strict with the timings when she was young and always did things exactly the same. Good luck !

stefka - think 7pm is a good time. DS is 19 weeks and have been doing that since he was around 8 weeks - so defo not early days. Just keep an eye on how long bathtime/ dressing and feedtime is as if too long can overstimulate your bub. Think at that age, anything longer than 30 mins is too much.

Now DS is a bit older, I tend to feed around 5.30/6, then DS sits on lap with a book - then we start bathtime around 6.15/ 6.30 - have bath, then massage (do the massage, they start to love it when a bit older), zipped into grobag, feed again around 6.45/ 7 (am back to cluster feeding as DS is growth spurting) and DS is down by 7.15/ 7.30. Sometimes he sleeps really well til his dreamfeed at 10, other times we have to resettle him. But at least we have our evenings back!

It's not working for us sadly. He just won't settle until half 11/12 ish. It's very tiring.

We began bedtime at 6.30pm, and began by putting the tv off if it was on, talk in lower voices, and read ds a book. Followed by bathtime. Then take ds to his room that is got only a dim light on as dress him there. Follwed by his bottle and few minutes of cuddles and then into his bed.

I don't know why it isn't working for us. He just cries. I read all these books that keep saying to put the baby to bed awake but he just cries when we do that. I can't get him settled until about midnight.

Don't worry Stfka, he is still very young! my ds didn't settle at bedtime properly until about 4 months. So keep at it, but don't be disheartened if he wakes or reisits sleeping. One day soon he will sleep and his bedtime

Stefka, just also read your other post - how does DS nap in the day? is he maybe having a long nap too close to bedtime? how many naps does he have and for how long? - does he go down ok for these?

I can't pretend to be an expert, as DS 11mo still not a great sleeper, but like you, I read lots of books to try and find the answers and wish I'd started to trust my instincts a lot sooner! - do you BF or is he FF? - just that you'll read everywhere don't BF to sleep or they develop sleep associations...yes exactly what lovely mother nature intended with the lovely hormones that are supposed to help your baby (and you) sleep, so I wouldn't worry too much at this stage about feeding to sleep if that helps him go off.

If you do want to help him go in the cot awake though, you could try cuddles once he's been fed, until he's relaxed enough to put in, sleepy but not yet dropping off, then keep a hand on his stomach, or gently stroke his head/face - (but what works well for one baby could wind another up).

He probably won't get it over night, but if you persevere, be consistent and try and enjoy your time with him, he should get there soon. Might help if you don't plan to get anything done for a few eves, so you're not stressed about getting down too early, try and have easy tea planned and try and relax yourself. (If DH/DP is around at bathtime, try a bath with DS, see if that helps him relax?)

good luck, you will get there, let us know how you get on!

Sounds like you have the right idea for a routine, but my guy won't be read to at that time of night. Instead, I read to him while I'm doing the feed..it's the language of story that you want them to hear...he'll hear it while he's feeding. I also read to my little guy during the day so he can get a visual of what books are. I figure once he's a bit older and can comprehend a "story" somewhat better, I'm not going to worry about making him look at the book.