Newborn struggling to settle to sleep

[RAI1984]

Hello.

I am looking for some help or advice please. Our newborn son who is 6 weeks old on Saturday has over the last two weeks or so struggled to settle to sleep in his moses basket once he put down by either of us. He falls asleep like all babies do at times when you hold him or after feeding/winding etc. It seems the minute he is put down in his basket a switch seems to go off and he gets very, very upset and cries continuously. I have read that at his age it is way too soon for the separation thing all parents have to do to enable their children to self soothe. It must be added that he did have a cold but all symptoms have now gone. At night he is still in out room in his basket and does settle better. We sometimes use a dummy as a pacifier but this doesn't always work or it falls out of his mouth and wakes him up.

Is there anything that can be done to enable him to settle better? Is this behaviour from his normal? I am aware that he is newborn and would naturally seek the comfort of his parents arms but he cannot be held at all times as this isn't healthy or practical for anyone. We have tried the white noise etc. but no joy. Thank you in advance 😊

Is he swaddled?

The first 3 months are often called the fourth trimester and some babies need to be swaddled to recreate that almost womb like feeling iyswim.

Are his sheets cold? You could try a T-shirt that you've worn so that he can smell you while he sleeps too?

I mean this kindly but it's perfectly fine to carry him the whole time that you're awake- it's not unhealthy. Some babies need that cosy womb like sensation to feel calm.

Well done for getting this far - it does get better so hang in there

This is totally normal, I would say the first 3-4 months of my babies life she hardly slept and would only be totally settled when someone was holding her. I did try putting her down as much as possible but it never worked and I would end up holding her. In the night she slept in a next to me crib and even then she would only have an hour or two solid sleep before she woke up again. Everyone warned me that I shouldn’t be picking her up all the time as it created bad habits etc and it’s the worst advice I have ever had! She went in to her in own room at 5 months and slept 7-7 and has never had any attachment issues. It’s unfortunately just the age and things will get better. I remember googling once ‘can you die from sleep deprivation’ 😂 it’s so bloody hard. Hang in there though, although it seems so far away it will get easier 😊

Thank you for your replies and advice. We have tried swaddling and doesn't seem to work for him at all. We have tried different swaddling but to no joy. His sheets would be cold I suppose. We do put a muslin on his sheet as this is supposed to aid sleep. Not sure how we could keep his sheets warm but the t-shirt idea is a good one. Even stuffing an old one up my top and then putting that down would be good?

He seems to fight sleep if that makes sense. He does have those baby jolts still and I have read about the 4th trimester. I do console myself that it is early days and the hardest time but would like him to settle better. It is almost like he is agitated or upset for no reason at times. He would have been fed, winded, changed, not too cold or too hot, not active and sleepy but then at times struggles to settle being held. That being said he does drift off being held like all babies which I assume is comforting to them. I guess it is just so hard to know what to do at times. My partner is struggling with him at the moment and is suffering from the early signs of post natal depression. This doesn't help but she is seeking help and has recognised it. I am trying him in his bouncer now to see if that helps at all.

One of mine fought sleep and never ever slept a wink in the Moses basket. I swaddled, I tilted the Moses basket upwards slightly, I warmed it, I added clothing of mine, I tried everything I could think of. The only way we could get the baby to sleep was either walking the pram, driving the car or co-sleeping. Obviously we co-slept for our own sanity but I know many are not happy with that option. I would recommend it if you feel comfortable with it (we had a very wide bed with a firm mattress)

My other babies were better sleepers and would do at least part if not most of the night alone so don't despair that it will always be this way

My son is 3 years old and still can’t settle himself
To sleep!

It’s totally normal at 6 weeks old, I wouldn’t try to change it and would go with whatever works!