2 month old constant wriggle in sleep. Getting nowhere

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Sorry for the essay. I think I've done a bad thing... Baby went to sleep in her hospital cot as a newborn. When we came home from hospital a few days later, I was so shot away I stayed on the sofa with baby in my arms... I'm still doing it.
She wouldn't sleep in her Moses basket, tried that at 1 week old and we were both crying at the end of that as it took hours to settle her again.
She has a CMPA and is showing signs of reflux.
We've progressed to a next2me, she will sometimes lay in there, but only for a maximum of 30 mins because her startle reflex will somehow trigger and she starts wriggling continually, kicking and whacking herself in the face - not a little bit either: to the point where I'm thinking of a lightly weighted blanket to keep her legs from kicking so much!
She sleeps soundly on me, my mum and sometimes my husband.
I can't sleep on the sofa with her all the time in our pregnancy pillow fort! We are safe to a degree but I know it's not in line with safe sleep guidance.
I'm almost scared to put her down to sleep now because I know what I'm in for. I don't get much help of my husband to use the next2me but he's quick to judge if she moves an inch when on me so I'm kinda on my own with the sleep thing.
Someone please tell me it gets better and she'll get there! I don't know what to try, she won't be swaddled, hot water bottle or something smelling like me didn't work 😔 part of me enjoys the snuggles and thinks sod it and part of me thinks I gotta do something cuz it'll be harder in a few more months.

Ok, I know you know this but the sofa sleeping is dangerous.

I must admit I slept half sitting up with dc1 on my chest for ages as she wouldn’t sleep any other way so I get where you are coming from. I don’t recommend it though, I read about the dangers afterwards.

Can you sleep in bed with her and DH goes on the sofa? If she is right next to you (not in a next2me but actually touching you) she may sleep?

I would also recommend trying one of those swaddle bags which lets them have their arms up (Love to dream swaddle Up). My dc2 liked this much more than a standard swaddle, wish I’d had it for dc1.

Can you tilt or prop the next2me so it is raised at one end?

Will she co sleep laying next to you on the bed ?

Had the same issue with DD, now 14 weeks, and it did get better eventually so there is hope! It helped to swaddle her with the Love to Dream swaddle as she preferred her arms up. When asleep I would put her down in her next to me and I was lying down pretty much next to her so that I could keep my arm around her shooshing and gently rocking her to keep her asleep when she was wriggling. Gradually she needed that less and less and she is now happily sleeping in her crib, settling easily after night feeds (although she still falls asleep on me and I keep her there for half and hour because of issues with reflux).
The paediatrician suggested to slightly raise the end of the cot to help with reflux...it is not reccommended reading online but we tried that and it seemed to help a little.

Hope you manage to find a way to put her down!

Get a love2dream sleep bag.
Saved my sanity
Got one when DS was 4 weeks and refused swaddling.
Literally went right to sleep in it.
And you can get transition ones for when they are older.
They are £30 but you can often get them on Facebook Marketplace etc
Pop a hot water bottle down first for the first few times, then baby. Yes there’s an art to placing Baby down without waking but you’ll get there quicker with the sleep bag thing.
I used to put Baby in swaddle first, then bottle then hold upright of reflux etc is an issue for a good 20 mins then gently down

I often slept practically IN the next to mw with me arm around Baby , but myself in my bed.
Good luck.

Just keep trying the cot and white noise.

Hypnic jerks

Just do safe bedsharing, you'll both sleep and it's so much safer than sleeping on a couch with loads of pillows, which is really not ideal at all.

@Gingernaut

Hypnic jerks

I have those, they are annoying.

Garman, I agree with you. I always safely co-slept with mine, we all had a good night's sleep.

Love to dream swaddle bag

Yes f you must co sleep do it safely in your bed - not on the sofa it is just way too dangerous

Why is your husband not helping

Hello, we're in a very similar situation, 7.5 weeks old and are slowly getting somewhere. DS just slept for 2 hours in the next2me, just feeding and hoping he'll go back in for another 2. But likely it'll be an hour, then after that he won't go back in it at all.

You need to get your DH to help, and like PP have said, sleeping on the sofa with a baby isn't very safe. Safe co-sleeping is much safer that that!

She will sleep next to me on the bed... With my arm under her neck and her on her side so her hand is on me and her nose is practically next to my top 🤦🏼‍♀️ I can move away a bit but when I move my arm she wakes, pick her up and she's snoring on my shoulder

And I don't know what DH's issue is with her sleeping in our bed or even in our room. We had a near miss last night so he and I are having a long chat later

I have no magic tricks to suggest but my now 5 month old was like this, flailing about all night unless I had her in with me. She grew out of the flailing at about 10-12 weeks and in the interim I just co-slept in a similar position to what you describe, which I know doesn't get you the best sleep but it's better than nothing! My other half took over at around 6am before he started work so I could get a chunk of sleep then without baby on me and that helped.

if he doesn't like his child in his bed/room he can buggar off and sleep in the bath.

@canigooutyet
Haha I'm so tempted to tell him that 🤣

You need a proper swaddle and for her to sleep on a flat, completely clear and firm surface.

DS hated the swaddle bags that have the arms sticking up, and it didn’t stop him from constantly hitting himself awake.
Bought a tommee tippee grosnug/grobag or whatever the hell they’re called, where baby's arms are crossed over their chest. Best thing I ever bought. He slept comfortably for hours as soon as I put him in it.