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Sleep

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Original poster

When to leave my baby to sleep!

12 replies

OliviaL9530 · 08/02/2022 20:10

Hi all!

My little girl is 3 months old, obviously I know she can't be in her own room yet but if I were to use a visual baby monitor could I leave her to sleep in her next to me and leave her alone in the room?

We've just started a routine of wake up, playtime, feed and nap for 2 hours so she's usually in bed for 7pm but it means either me or my partner having to stay with her x

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TheGlitterFairy · 09/02/2022 03:51

Can she sleep in a bassinet or Moses basket with you in the lounge then you just transfer her and it to your bedroom when you go to bed? We did this with DS until he was 6 months (was in bassinet that was ok for overnight sleeping) then when he woke in the night, transferred him to the snuzpod next to me in the bedroom. Only used a monitor with him when we were getting ready to transition him to his own room/ move to room

PurBal · 09/02/2022 03:58

DS was in his own room from 4 weeks and I slept in his room until 3 months. We used a monitor in the evenings (7pm bedtime for him and 10pm for me). He was waking once or twice a night at that point (around 1 and 4). I am firmly in the camp of yes you can leave them so long as they’re safe, I know this is “against” safe sleep guidelines but they are just guidelines not laws and this worked for us.

SaveWaterDrinkGin · 09/02/2022 04:14

could I leave her to sleep in her next to me and leave her alone in the room?

Of course you could, but it’s against the safe sleep guidance so you need to weigh it up and make your own decision. Using a monitor does not eliminate the risk.

bloodyhellwhyme · 09/02/2022 04:22

I have a 3 month old who goes to bed at 7, and I leave her in her cot to go and have my dinner. I didnt realise I needed to go to bed when she does, I just join her in the bedroom when I'm ready for bed.

Happyhappyday · 09/02/2022 04:56

If it helps in other countries it’s not a thing to sleep in same room. I was told by a pediatrician I trust in US that the main reason they recommend a year here is NOT SIDS, it’s because parents are likely to fall asleep with baby in a chair if they go to another room and falls are the #1 cause of injury death for under 1s. I also highly recommend reading Crib Sheet, it has a section on this recommendation and I believe the author found no high quality studies showing babies sleeping in different rooms to parents increased SIDS risk at all. Some of the other recommendations showed a very slight increase, but it was still way less than the likelihood of a baby dying in a car accident to put it in perspective, ie, absolutely minuscule. Bottom line was back to sleep was really the only recommendation that mattered.

Happyhappyday · 09/02/2022 04:57

We also kicked DD out at 3 months for sanity. But don’t listen to anecdotes, read the research!

FinallySomeNormality · 09/02/2022 10:14

You'll be aware of the safe sleep guidelines etc. so it's up to you to make the decision based on risks.

We left both DC upstairs in their next-to-me to sleep from bedtime (7:30ish) until we came to bed from about 4wks old. We had a monitor and a breathing mat - but we're aware that doesn't decrease the risks.

We also put both in their own room at night at 4months. Again, we were aware of the risks but by that point we were all constantly waking each other up. I suffered badly from postnatal insomnia and felt I couldn't move or make a noise during the long nights I was awake in case I woke DC and it made me truly miserable and my insomnia far worse!

ChittyBang1987 · 09/02/2022 11:39

Personally, I'm in the camp of staying in the same room as lo, especially that young. Around 5 months, I think I started eating my dinner after putting lo to bed. But I would check so often I may as well as eaten my dinner in my room 😆 🤣

I had a non sleeper from a young age, so I always went to bed with them and watched something on the phone and was usually asleep early 😆

Timeturnerplease · 09/02/2022 18:06

Ours screamed the house down through overstimulation if we didn’t get them in bed by 6.30pm. This happened pretty much as soon as they woke up from the sleepy stage - they were/are shockinb nappers so the days mits have been too long for them.

At the start with DD1 we stayed upstairs with her but at around 3m we started nipping downstairs for dinner and an hour of tv before one of us went to bed.

We knew of the risks, but she just would not settle with lights/noise. DD2 exactly the same.

onedayoranother · 09/02/2022 18:15

Ive always wondered about this six months in with you thing. Do people really sit there in the dark once they put their babies down for the night? My babies had there own rooms from day one and I used a monitor. I could hear them breathe, I didn't need to watch them do it.
Put your babe to bed and enjoy the evening with your partner.

Rumples · 09/02/2022 18:48

Another one for putting baby to bed upstairs with a monitor and going down to eat dinner/relax until I go to bed at around 10ish.

You do have to weigh it up for yourselves but my baby wouldn't have slept downstairs with light and TV on. He sleeps much better upstairs in the dark/white noise going.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/02/2022 18:50

We kept them all down with us until 6 months
They'd have a feed etc, back into moses basket and then up with us at a reasonable hour. It just isn't worth the risk

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