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7 week old will NOT sleep at night - despairing and exhausted

32 replies

cooltrimgirl · 08/02/2022 11:08

Hi all

My 7 week old is unable to sleep at night for any kind of significant period. He's always been a terrible sleeper but he used to be able to do a 2 - 3 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, and then do 40m - 1 hour stretches after that, but in the past week or so, he's lost this ability and can barely even do 40 minutes.

I'll either breastfeed him to sleep (he's EBF) and then hold him for a while before transferring to the crib, or I'll sway with him up on my chest for a while before transferring. The transfer is sometimes successful, sometimes not - but even when it's successful and he remains fast asleep, he'll wake crying around 15 - 20 minutes later.

Not just crying, he'll also be grunting, moaning, squirming, writhing, arching his back and scrunching up his body...

I'm worried I might be feeding him too often because often when he wakes and is upset, I offer him the breast. He only ever does 5 - 10 minutes of sucking, probably because he's getting it so often. I don't know what else to do though, often it's the only thing that calms him down.

I've gone through periods of thinking it's colic, then thinking it's reflux, now thinking it's lactose overload... My brain is turning to mush with the amount of exhausted googling I'm doing.

He's been on:

  • Infacol
  • Dentinox
  • Colic Calm
  • Probiotics

at various times

and I've tried:

  • Tummy massage
  • Bicycle legs
  • Starting a dairy-free diet (I'm currently on Day 4)
  • Reclining the cot, pre-heating the cot with hot water bottle

I use a swaddle and white noise. Unfortunately he won't take a dummy.

His dirty nappies are a dark green colour, and often quite "explosive". He seems to really struggle with farts and not being able to get them out.

He's gaining plenty of weight, so the GP isn't worried (she just said "sounds like colic, he'll grow out of it"). She said it isn't reflux because he's gaining weight.

He currently also has thrush on his tongue which doesn't help, but I know this isn't the sole cause of our night-time troubles because he had them before the thrush emerged.

His daytime naps are either in the pram (being pushed) or occasionally in the sling. He'll do around 3 - 4 naps per day, but I know this probably isn't enough and he's probably already overtired heading up to bed. It's very difficult to get him to nap though, he fights the sleep as much as possible.

I'm barely getting any sleep at all - the past few nights I've only gotten around 1 - 1.5 hours, and that's only because my husband takes the baby downstairs for that length of time before he starts work.

I dunno how much longer I can survive and it's already affecting my bond with him. I feel myself getting more depressed/despairing as the days go on. No idea how I'm supposed to survive until he potentially 'grows out of it' weeks from now.

One of the worst things is that my husband is convinced this is normal behaviour for a baby, which makes me feel like I'm going crazy because to me, it absolutely is NOT. He says sleepless nights are just a standard part of being a baby, it'll get better with time, we just need to push through, etc. It's easy for him to say this because I'm the one who's up all night (husband works so I let him sleep as much as possible through the night). I know that babies aren't good sleepers but waking 15 minutes after being put down? All night long? It CAN'T be normal in my opinion. Poor baby is absolutely exhausted in the morning and it takes ages of pushing the pram to finally get him to sleep.

Any help at all would be appreciated... I feel so awful but I'm starting to really resent motherhood and I long for the days and nights before we had him :( Thank you.

OP posts:
Userblabla · 08/02/2022 21:23

I agree that new babies want to be near Mum. I accept the fourth trimester is a real thing etc. this sounds like more than that though. I’d be pushing for them to consider allergy as a PP said.

PullingAtTeeth · 08/02/2022 21:42

I could have written your post word for word when my lo was the same age.
He’s my third. 1st was an easy baby, 2nd somewhere in the middle and 3rd exactly like yours.
By 12-14 weeks things were much better. Still
Hard but much better.
He’s 6 months now and it’s all a distant hazy sleep deprived memory.
It will pass and you’ll get through it!. Try to get your husband to cuddle him downstairs evening and morning so you can get a little bit of sleep each end of the night because you need every snippet you can get.
Can you kick your husband out the bed and try cosleeping again. Can you try a dummy again as well to see if he will comfort suck on that while you cuddle and wind him then sleep with him right next to you in the bed?
Does sound like he’s comfort feeding, getting lots of foremilk then getting a build up of wind. This is exactly what my lo did too but by 12 weeks he was able to burp/fart more quickly and easily and therefore settle better at night.

cooltrimgirl · 09/02/2022 18:42

Thanks very much everyone, I'll happily take all advice :)

And I understand that maybe my husband is right and our son's behaviour is totally normal. We're both first time parents and his perspective is no less valid than mine - I tend to be overly anxious and panicky and I should be thankful that he's more relaxed and easygoing in his parenting approach.

OP posts:
chickywoo · 09/02/2022 18:54

My oldest was like this unfortunately there is no answer, some baby’s just can’t be put down Grin
What made it harder for me was seeing others who’s same age baby’s knocked out after a bottle for long stretches and slept all night, whilst I felt like a human dummy!
What no one prepares you for is that breast fed baby’s need feeding constantly and you can’t even go for wee without taking your baby with you for at least the next 6 months.
I found co sleeping was a life saver although baby still woke up often to feed.

cooltrimgirl · 09/02/2022 19:06

Yeah the comparison to other babies is the worst thing in the world! I think I need to unfollow some of the mum groups I'm in on Facebook, posts about "How is your baby sleeping?" kill me as I read about all the babies the same age as mine, sleeping soundly from 10:30 - 6! :( Comparison is the thief of joy eh!

Husband is happy to leave the bed and let us try cosleeping but it just doesn't work for me at all, everytime we've tried it baby has been miserable and mostly awake all night, and I've barely slept myself!

I think it's because my son's sleeping issues aren't caused by clinginess/wanting to be near Mummy, they're caused by gas/digestive pains which aren't helped by being close to me. Unfortunately! Brilliant that it works so well for other mothers though :)

OP posts:
accidentlygothereagain · 09/02/2022 19:12

I agree very normal.

I would contradict some of the advice here and wouldn't introduce formula unless you're really hating breastfeeding. Adding something new into his diet would make it much harder for you to eliminate things such as allergies and intolerances.

PurplePansy05 · 09/02/2022 19:20

Reflux IMO, and possibly CMPA too. Can't help you with the latter as my son didn't have it, but he suffered badly with reflux.

Recline his next to me/cot as per instructions.
Get him to sleep in a sling/on you during the day.
Hold him upright for half an hour after every feed.
Massage his tummy after a bath.
Get a baby Gaviscon prescription from your GP, this could be used with formula milk or expressed BM. If he won't take a bottle, have a word with a GP, perhaps giving it to him with a syringe might work.

They grow out of reflux, but I feel you - it's hard work. DS started to improve around 4/4.5mo and now he's 6.5 mo and grew out of it completely.

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