How do I stop feeding to sleep?

[shivawn]

Hi all, think I must be going through the 4 month sleep regression with my 15 week old. He's gone from sleeping 3-5 hours at the beginning of the night followed by a 2 hour and then a 1-2 hour sleep to waking up randomly after 15 minutes, 40 minutes, 1 hour.....I'm lucky to get one 2 hour stretch most nights. I'm getting incredibly stressed out after 10 days of this but I know it could go on for months and he's too young to sleep train.

I've always breastfed him to sleep and then held him for 20 mins before putting him down. That was fine when he'd sleep for a decent stretch but now it's taking me more time to put him down then he is actually sleeping in the crib for. Everytime he wakes it takes me 45-70 mins to get him back down. He sleeps in a Next to Me cot beside me, when he wakes I try rubbing his belly, shushing him and putting in his dummy (which he's never really had much interest in anyway) but he just gets increasingly agitated until I pick him up and feed him again. Last night I fed him for 45 minutes before he fell asleep, put him down and he woke up crying 10 mins later and it was another 45 minute feed. There's no way that he is still that hungry. I'm sure there's no supply issues, he's a big baby in the 98th percentile for height and weight and at least 2 dirty nappies a day. Never had any reflux issues etc. I can sometimes ease my nipple out of his mouth and replace it with his dummy and it takes him 5 minutes to realise.

I just don't know what to do with him. I wish I could stop feeding to sleep but nothing else will settle him....I can rock him to sleep but it takes ages and he bawls for the first 15 minutes. He's also 18kg so my arms are killing me long before he actually falls asleep. I've tried co-sleeping but he wakes just as often and he isn't a baby that will just find my nipple himself, I have to arch my back in an uncomfortable position to get my nipple in to his mouth.

I'd stop breastfeeding if I thought it would help but I'm worried that will leave me in an even worse position now.

Any advice would be gratefully received!

Have you thought of continuing with Baging but not holding him for the 20 minutes?

So you could try feeding lying down and following the sage bed sharing guidelines or

Swaddling and white noise abs using a T-shirt DH has worn in his crib so that it has a reassuring smell.

Maybe wait it out a little longer? Mine is 19 weeks old. About 3 weeks ago I tried fewer night feeds as I could tell he was just wanting on the breast for comfort when he woke. I've tried feeding while lying down and it just doesn't work for us so I was having to fully sit up for every feed. So I tried giving him his dummy and a quick little comfort when he woke instead.

Didn't work. He wasn't ready and got very upset. So I left it.

This week I tried again and it has worked. I make sure he feeds plenty in the day so that he's definitely not waking from hunger. Then at night when he stirs I pop the dummy in and a quick pat and he's straight to sleep again. But the second he doesn't happily take the dummy out I still bring him out to feed. He now only wakes once to feed each night.

That may change though. I've resolved just to roll with it and do things when he's ready.

It's biologically normal for babies to feed to sleep, especially when still so young, and long/cluster feeds are normal, and babies feed for many reasons, not just hunger. Have you considered bedsharing, following safe sleep guidelines? He's just out of the fourth trimester, it's completely normal that he wants to feed and be held by his mother during the night, you're his safe place.

Honestly I just caved and co slept from this time u til about 7 months it was the only way we got any sleep

Then I had enough and sleep trained and now she sleeps through at 8 months

You will get there but I know it seems like it’s never gonna end when you are in it