Chair method toddler sleep

[bowielove]

I wondered if anyone had done the chair method with their toddler and how exactly they did it, how long it took? My toddler is 21 months and I’m still sitting next to his cot, he holds my hand or I put my hand on him in some way waiting for him to fall asleep. Usually for over an hour, sometimes more than two hours and it’s literally killing me (I’m on a tiny box and my shoulders, neck etc are dying). He then wakes in the night and I just take him into my bed. It’s a terrible habit and need to break. A year ago I paid a sleep trainer to tell me to do controlled crying (didn’t realise it would be that) and it basically traumatised me! He slept okay for a while but then as soon as he started nursery he caught every bug going and I slipped into bad habits letting him fall asleep on me. I wanted to try the chair method but I’ve been stuck on day one of it for several months now. He cries if I try to take my hand away or move what I’m sitting on even an inch and he can cry and vomit within a minute or two. If he didn’t so easily cry-vomit I’d have probably had no issues with this method but the whole thing is just so horrible if he pukes. I dunno if anyone has any pearls of wisdom. It’s really getting me down. Many thanks

Personally I think controlled crying is the best way. He needs to learn to sleep on his own. And though it's soo hard to gear then cry they get better in time.
Not what I expect you want to hear but the only thing I know to work!

You can do controlled crying without it being traumatic, there’s a vast difference between leaving the child to cry and doing small ten minute sessions then comforting and repeating. At this age most of the gentle sleep coaches just look at your routine then say there is nothing else they can do. Have a look at the blissful baby expert, she’s worth her weight in gold. Big hugs x

My DD is 2 and we used to have to sit with her for her to go to sleep, like you it would normally take an hour or so!
I bought her a yoto player just after Christmas and now she goes to sleep listening to stories and we leave her to it. Shes asleep in about 5 mins normally!
She does normally shout until the door is shut and then she stops and falls asleep so quickly!
She also sleeps all night and wakes later in the morning since we started (she used to wake up at least once a night and get up between 4.30 -6am!!) and now sleeps until 6.30-730am.

@Christmas21 wow, that thing sounds magical!! Did you just try it and leave the room on the first night? It looks quite pricy but I might try it. Does it turn itself off?

The yoto player is amazing! We have one too. For both kids. And you can control it from your phone. Choose different sounds. Switch it off. We love it soooo much. Here's a link with 10% off.

prz.io/G0g9g3Xtm

You can even play from the cards you have in the car or straight from your phone.

I did all the same things as you with my first son. Absolutely traumatized by controlled crying and so sleep deprived from sitting on a chair near him and crawling out of the way hoping he was really asleep and not going to start crying! It's so hard. It didn't work for us. Second time around my 16 month old sleeps in his bed in my room for a few hours but when he wakes and starts getting really fractious (you kind of know when they're not going to just settle back in) I just put him in my bed. It's not ideal, but i can't deal with the crying and sitting up half the night.

I really regret letting my first son cry at bought, not least because of the guilt and upset it caused me. At a certain point (about 2 1/2) he decided he was ready and didn't want to be in my room. now, age 4, he goes to sleep alone when I'm not even with him. As with all things I wish I had just let him get there naturally. I think offer the tools - make sure you give the option of sitting in the chair - but if he's sick about it, give him some more time.

My thoughts are with you!

I spoke to her about it before I bought it and then kept mentioning it until it arrived. Then on the actual day, we kept talking about what was happening at bedtime. My husband put her to bed as she's more attached to me and when she got into bed, they put the story on, gave her a kiss goodnight and left. I was amazed it worked so well!

You could try putting a single bed in there or even a floor mattress for a while?

It isn't uncommon to have these problems:

kathrynstaggibclc.com/2019/07/14/the-case-for-the-floor-bed/