Stressed out and feel like I'm going to break

[Newbabynewhouse]

I've posted in sleep because i feel its mainly sleep related... i have one DD (11 months) live with my partner DDs father... DP works all different shifts sometimes 12 hours sometimes 9... nights days and evenings...i am in uni 2 days a week but classed as full time so texhnically meant to study 3 other days but i dont get chance! Im writing this post because i feel so stressed out at the moment that soemtimes i want to pack a bag and run off to a hotel! I havnt felt this bad throughout the 11 months but the last few months have been so hard! My baby ised to have a perfect routine and would sleep from 7pm until 7am with about 3 short disturbances for her dummy then straight back to sleep.

Recently she is missing naps, waking at 1am until 4am and when shes not awake shes not settled. I can hear her stirring on the baby monitor whilst im trying to relax and it gives me anxiety..i cant do uni work, housework is never ending i can nevee find time to cook or do anything...she cries when shes in a car seat... i feel so low like my life is on hold..Partner does try as much as he can but we do bicker about housework and sleep rotas.... health visitor useless so dont want to call..has anyone else been here and how did u cope...

Hi,

I'm very new to this sleep deprivation business (DD is 6 days old) but am also studying at Uni). I feel for you and well done on managing this for the last 11 months - that's amazing. I was working on Uni assignments right up to the week before she was born. I have taken a year's suspension since then which was pretty easy to arrange and means that's one less thing to focus on when I'm lacking sleep etc. Is this something you could look into for your course? University's are very used to students needing to suspend studies temporarily for many different reasons.

What's your nap routine? Consistency is key. So naps at same time, etc. From what I read I think all Los go through a little inconsistent naps around this age..... my lo was a little younger about 10 months and she went back to 45 mins nap. Lasted a week or so. I would still put her down at same time for naps and repeat its a phase.

Waking in night for that period of time is lo cold? Could be overtired? Undertired? Developmental? Is lo almost at mastering something? Like walking?

With the dummy situation, Put ALOT of dummies in cot. I think we have about 20 in my Los cot. So when she wakes, she can find it herself. I put about 8 around the outside. A couple at one end and a pile at the other end. I have kept it the same so she knows where to go.

Can lo self soothe? I always leave my lo a couple mins depending on cry to go in her room to check on her. Tbh it takes me a few minutes to wake up and half the time now my oh hears her more then me 😆 used to be other way round.

Can you pop lo in nursery or childminder? To help with uni work?

There is a sleep regression around this time. My first went through it, being awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night. It lasted about 4 weeks but it did go back to normal after that.

I would keep the routine consistent, try and keep naps going to prevent over tiredness even if you have to do them in the car or pram. It does pass and if she previously slept well she does have the skills to do it again.

Hi. I'm not sure how to solve your sleep problems. But just wanted to say I completed my masters whilst ds was under 10 months old. I finished it in August 2021. It was very challenging! I did the bulk of the thesis work during the 4 month regression

It is possible to get through your course if you are sure that's what you want to do, but it's totally fine to just take a break from the course and come back later. I give you permission to do that!

I got through really by just doing a couple of hours of work at a time between feeds on days where dh or my mum could look after ds the rest of the time. The quality of my work definitely dipped, you should expect this, and house work didn't gey done by either of us. In the weeks proceeding deadlines I was working in the middle of the night. It wasn't fun, but fir me important to finish as when he was born I was 75% through the masters part time and I was a mature student. I knew when maternity leave finished and I was back at work it would be even harder to get the work done. If I was younger though I think the right answer would have been a longer career break and more time out of uni.

Whatever you decide please go easy on yourself on all levels. Let the house be a tip, let your grades dip, send baby to nursery early if you can find the funds (we didn't do this but perhaps should have done as nursery has been great for him).

Also find out about the extenuating circumstances procedures and extensions that your uni can offer you and take all of them.

Thank you everyone for your replies..im in the last year of uni now and only have a few months left so really dont want to suspend... im going to fight through 😬
So yes she began crawling a few weeks back and is now starting to pull herself up so i think shes learning to walk...also learning lots of new skills, waving and roaring like a lion! Etc ... she will be starting 2 days in a nursery from friday this week so im hoping that might help me mentally to feel im on track with my uni work and sleep! Think i will use half the day for a sleep and then the rest for uni work/house work and a coffee + cake !