Stopped bf 20 mo HELL 😩

[Wingingthis]

So I wanted to stop bf my 20mo DD soon. She co slept & bf to sleep and it just wasn’t working for me anymore & I personally felt ready to stop and that she was getting too old to be bf, especially at night.
Then last week I became very unwell and unexpectedly and suddenly had to go onto medication that day which you can’t take whilst bf. No problem, DH took over and of course she screamed the house down as expected. Woke about 5 times and took an hour to settle.
We’re now on night five of this and there has been NO improvement, in fact it’s only got worse.
She doesn’t want to be touched, cuddled, back scratched etc it sends her even more mad. I’ve tried stories, music, silence, leaving the room (for a couple of minutes only) a dummy, water, a comforter. She goes absolutely crazy to anything.
Last night she slept 8pm (after 2 hours of screaming) to 1am and then screamed till 4am with me trying all of the above at which point I gave up.
She is now obviously exhausted as am I and she is crying at absolutely everything. Dh has taken her out in the car now to have a car nap.

HELP 😩😭

Hi, didn't want to read this and not comment. I have no experience stopping breastfeeding as my son is younger and I'm still doing it. It sounds like you're having a really tough time. You have to put yourself first and take the medication you need for your health, both for you and your daughter. You've done really well keeping breastfeeding going so long anyway.

It sounds like it's all come as a bit of a shock to her. Like having her world turned upside down I imagine? Not that that means you've done something wrong as it's important to care for your health. I'm sure with lots of reassurance she'll come round in time? The advice seems to be reading books about weaning to children of this age before you do it to prepare them, I wonder if this is something you could try retrospectively?

Also I think mumsnet has an infantfeeding board? There might be people who are more experienced with breastfeeding issues there?

Could she be hungry? Would a sippy cup of warm milk help?

I suspect you’ll just have to tough it out. I don’t think there’s much you can do that you aren’t already. I think you should take shifts and agree who’s doing what between you so you both get some sleep, maybe ear plugs and white noise for whoever is trying to sleep while the other sits with her.
I would carry on just reassuring her and saying that you know it’s making her very sad and your sorry she’s upset etc. I’m sure things will start to improve soon. She’ll start to realise that breastfeeding isn’t happening again. I would definitely carry on doing whatever you can to get her to nap in the day, so out in the car or pram.
I feel for all 3 of you, it’s horrible when they’re so upset and you can’t help them. Plus sleep deprivation is hell.

That sounds very difficult. Especially going on all that time. Is she ok in the day?
I think just be consistent. I wouldn't do stories or music or milk in the night. I would probably explain to her in the day that there is no more milk and then if she wakes. try keeping lights off and saying calmly that it's time to sleep, then leave the room and see what happens. You may need to let her have time to realise that that's it. The more you go in and try different things the more confusing it is for her.
Try to give her lots of cuddles and attention in the daytime as well as fresh air, exercise.