Why is my 10 month old awake for hours every night?

[HistoricMoment]

I nightweaned my then 8 month old 2 months ago because I was no longer coping with the hourly wake ups. After a couple of nights, he started sleeping a longish stretch at the beginning of the night, then waking at around 2 am. It takes him up to 2.5 hours to go back to sleep. This happens every night and it is really getting me down, I am crying most days because of this. I am going back to work in March and I'm terrified.

This is his routine :
Wake between 5.30-7 am
Big breakfast
First nap 2.5 hours later, I wake him after 45 minutes
Big snack
Breastfeed
Second nap around 12 pm, I wake him at 2 pm
Lunch 2pm
Snack 4.30 pm
Tea 6.30 pm
Breastfeed
Bedtime 7.45 pm

Any ideas welcome!

I find this site quite helpful.

www.babysleepscience.com/single-post/2014/09/09/the-split-night-why-some-babies-are-awake-for-hours-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and-how

Hope you get more Zs soon.

That's an interesting link thanks @FTMbg

@Liervik in the evening I feed him to sleep, he then wakes up when I put him in his grobag and carry him to bed. He will cry for a few seconds and either drop off by himself or I will stroke his head for a few minutes. I wonder if I should stop him from dropping off at the breast? Would it make a difference seeing as he wakes again afterwards anyway?

I think the issue may be the time between last nap and bedtime - Theres nearly 6 hours before bedtime which I think is really too long. At 8 months old the maximum time awake I would leave would be 4 hours. He is probably very overtired by 7.45pm so goes asleep quickly but then the split night happens.

If he’s up at 5am would you do a third nap? My baby wakes at 7am and I do wake windows of 2.5/3.5/3.5 so have nap one at 9.30am and nap 2 at 1.30pm with bedtime 4 hours from last wake up.

So I would push out your baby’s second nap to 3-3.5 hours from nap 1 wake up and have bedtime 4 hours later. It might mean having bedtime earlier but I think it will help the night time

Edited to say bedtime should be no more than 4 hours from wake up of nap 2 (or whatever is your last nap before bedtime). I did this when split nights happened and it worked very well

Sorry I meant to say 10 months not 8! My own baby is 10 months too - I’ve found these wake windows work well. Best of luck, I hope you get some sleep soon

5 hours 45 minutes between last nap and bedtime is way too long for an 8 month old IMO

My 10 month old only has a 3 hour 45 minute wake window between nap and bedtime

I'd try tweaking the routine to more of a 2-3-4 routine, so roughly
7am up
2 hours awake
9am-10am nap
3 hours awake
1pm-3pm nap
4 hours awake
7pm bedtime

Try not to move the morning nap earlier to compensate for an early morning if possible. I also wouldn't get him out of bed before 6.30am - even if that means bringing him in to bed with you.

The last wake window is way way too long. At 10 months you want around 3-3hr15 wake windows. So say wake at 7, nap 10-10:30, nap 1:45-3:45, bed at 7. He’s probably stuck in an over tired cycle right now. He could also be genuinely hungry! One night feed us totally normal up until 1ish. But long wake windows are more often caused by being over or under tired.

@user1471481356

The last wake window is way way too long. At 10 months you want around 3-3hr15 wake windows. So say wake at 7, nap 10-10:30, nap 1:45-3:45, bed at 7. He’s probably stuck in an over tired cycle right now. He could also be genuinely hungry! One night feed us totally normal up until 1ish. But long wake windows are more often caused by being over or under tired.

Not long wake windows, long wake periods are night I meant at the end there

If he wakes before 6, don’t get him up, keep trying to resettle, no matter how painful it is. Don’t bring the morning nap forward to compensate for an early waking, that reinforces early rising as they know they will get a nap soon.

Interesting that there seems to be a consensus that 6 hours is too long. I shifted his second nap forward around 3 weeks ago, he used to nap from 1-3 or 2-4pm. I thought the problem might be that there wasn't enough time between nap and bed time and that he wasn't tired enough. It hasn't changed anything though.

To those of you saying he might be hungry, would you go back to breastfeeding once during the night or would you give a bottle of formula? I really don't want to confuse my poor baby even more!

@HistoricMoment

Interesting that there seems to be a consensus that 6 hours is too long. I shifted his second nap forward around 3 weeks ago, he used to nap from 1-3 or 2-4pm. I thought the problem might be that there wasn't enough time between nap and bed time and that he wasn't tired enough. It hasn't changed anything though.

To those of you saying he might be hungry, would you go back to breastfeeding once during the night or would you give a bottle of formula? I really don't want to confuse my poor baby even more!

My 18 month old only has max 5 hours between his nap and bedtime. Anymore and we have a nightmare at night with fighting sleep, waking constantly and taking ages to resettle. Doesn't work for everyone but following wake windows by age worked a treat for us for the most part (teething, growth spurts etc aside)

Does your little get formula at other times? If not, I'd do bf in the night feed if they need it but try tweaking the sleep schedule first bring bedtime forward see how you go.

I wouldn’t feed again in the night after 9 months.
If you think he might be hungry you can give more milk or food in the day, or add a supper of porridge just before bed.

When we night weaned our first (at 15m, ff) we hoped that it would stop her waking at all for milk, and that she'd sleep through. What happened is that rather than being awake for 20m with milk and then going back, she was now awake for 2-3 hours.

It passed eventually (well she still wakes most nights at 4.5, but the wake ups are shorter).

Good luck