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Sleep

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Original poster

12 months old and I am cracking from lack of sleep!

15 replies

chocbutton · 29/12/2007 14:28

Ds just turned 1 and has always woken up 2/3 times every night, and I BF him and put him back in his cot. Now I am working full time this is getting to be really hard on me, I am so tired all the time. He has a BF about 6ish when we get up and again about 5pm when I get home, but only water in between (never liked expressed milk from bottle). This is why i feel I need to BF him in the night as I worry he won;t get enough milk otherwise. He is very big and strong so obviously not wasting away!
Anyway, can I start to wean him off being BF at night? I want to carry on morning and evening, but I need to get a full nights sleep before I leap out of the window!! What is your advice please?? I cannot bear to leave him to cry and I think he knows this.

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cheeset · 29/12/2007 14:38

been a long time since I bf, my dd is 5 now.

I fed her up until she was 9mths old. I bf her in the morning and before she went to bed and fed her solids in between.

She never woke up in the night for a feed, thats where our situation differs.

I would choose the times you want to bf, then fill in with solids/water/ formula(possibly).

If your ds has enough food in the day then he shouldnt need to wake up in the night? Unless its for closeness from you and breast?

You will probably get some bf mums on with beta advise but I am very clear cut with stuff like this because it worked for me but then we are all different

Shitemum · 29/12/2007 14:51

If you are bfeeding him at 6am and 5pm he is still getting the benefit of your milk. Are you feeding him at bedtime too? You could get an extra feed in then perhaps if you feel he needs it. If so make sure it's not the last thing you do, i.e. read him a story after or sing a song or whatever routine you have. Also, try not to feed him in the room where he sleeps. This will help him disassociate bfeeding with bed. As for stopping feeding in the night you'll just have to steel yourelf im afraid. Or send your DP in instead for a quick cuddle and back in the cot. He is gong to cry, there's no getting round it. Decide what you want and work out how to ease him into it by gradually by tweaking the routine. I would try CC at naptimes during the day till he learns to go back to sleep by himself at night, it's just a habit, he's unlikely to be hungry.
I have a 15 mo who still wakes regularly in the night tho i have 'weaned' her off night feeds. She still often ends up in our bed tho...Last night i finally moved her cot out of our room and through to her 4yo sisters room and she slept till 1am and then woke, she wouldnt go back to sleep and sis was snoring so loud i didnt blame her! Will have to sort the snoring now as well as the night wakings..sigh...

Shitemum · 29/12/2007 14:54

just to add - i firmly believe that night wakings, so long as the child isnt ill, are purely a matter of habit. I mean we all waken briefly during the night several times, but a baby who is used to having a bfeed or a dummy put in its mouth or whatever when he wakes up at night is going to go on expecting and needing that in order to go back to sleep, until you break the habit.

CarGirl · 29/12/2007 14:56

My youngest had a b/f morning and evening from 9 months, evening only from 10 months and self weaned completely at 11 months!!! She hadn't ever had b/f during the night from being tiny. Again every baby is different but your ds would be just fine on 2 or 3 feeds a day, ie morning, tea time & before bed.I found pick up put down method very good for getting babies to sleep through the night. However if you feed your ds to sleep at bed time then you need to change that sleep association before trying to get him to sleep through the night.

cheeset · 29/12/2007 14:58

agree with shitemum, habit waking at night.

Original poster

chocbutton · 29/12/2007 19:39

thanks everyone - I know this is a habit but its so hard to break it especially when he is crying at 3am!
He gets BF in the morning, when I come home and before bed, so that is 3 definite feeds he has - all the others are just extra, but I suppose I felt guilty for not being there in the day and felt like he must need the extra milk. He has plenty of water and solids so he can't be hungry.
He is very good at napping in the day (without a BF), I just put him in his pram and he is off (usually) so he does actually know how to go to sleep. Its the getting back to sleep he isn't so great at!I'll have to try to teach him that I won't feed him through the night and just prepare myself for it being hard. I have tried to leave him to settle, but it makes me feel physically ill sometimes when he crys
thanks again, will try tonight....

OP posts:

gingerninja · 29/12/2007 20:05

chocbutton, have you thought about co-sleeping? I night weaned my DD with the aid of co-sleeping by just cuddling back to sleep. She was a frequent night waker but by night weaning and co-sleeping our wakings are reduced greatly to generally one or two brief awakenings (unless ill or teething) and are quickly resolved with a hold of hands, dummy etc.

I also found co-sleeping a great way of feeling close to DD when I went back to work. I don't have the guilt about being away all day and don't feel like I don't see her as I get to spend all night curled up next to her.

I realise it's not for everyone and it does take a little getting used to sleeping next to a new person but personally it's the only solution for us.

Tapster · 30/12/2007 21:30

I vowed never to do CC but at 12 months I did a limited form by Tania Byron so you never ever let them cry for more than 30mins, I was desperate for sleep. Go in and reassure after 5 mins, 10mins and then 15mins if baby not asleep BF to sleep again. The trick I found is sending DH at night to do the reassurance in the middle of the night. It worked in 2 nights, I think when you do it over 12 months it is this quick.

I'm still BFing my nearly 14 month old and I'm a SAHM I have the opposite problem I would like to feed only morning and night but I can't get DD off her milk during the day she has another 2-3 feeds was incentive does the poor girl have.

saltcod · 30/12/2007 22:00

chocbutton, had same prob with DS - he was still waking 2 or 3 times per night for a bf at 11 months. Finally decided enough was enough & just refused to feed him at night. I would pick him up for a cuddle, then lay him back down again every time he woke. It only took 3 nights of this to get him sleeping through... now he sleeps 10 hours straight through - I just wish I'd beeen firmer sooner!

Original poster

chocbutton · 01/01/2008 13:23

well I have sent DP in for the last 3 nights and it does seem to be getting better! He did cry a lot the first night but DP just stayed with him until he settled down and then kept going back in to resettle him. Hopefully this will continue to improve, and I can't tell you how much better I feel already! Even though I am still awake when he crys, not having to get up and go to him is making a big difference! Also, I think it is doing DP the world of good to get up during the night as I have done for 12 months, although he wouldn't agree and is "so tired you wouldn't believe it"!!! Not sure what he thinks I have been doing for the last year but anyway....
thanks for your help everyone, happy new year x

OP posts:

xigris · 01/01/2008 20:43

hello everyone, my DS is 13 months old and is waking up on average 2-3 times per night - sometimes more.... very wearing! He used to sleep 7pm - 7am every night but then teethed badly (he gets 4 at a time the poor boy)and seems to have got into the habit of waking up all the time. DH and I have got into the habit of cuddling him back to sleep or giving him his morning milk early at about 5am. He eats LOADS during the day so I really think this is habit rather than genuine hunger. Any advice? Like chocbutton I also hate hearing him cry. Wuss that I've become!

smurfett · 02/01/2008 12:50

HELP!! My DS is 6 mth old & wakes up frequently during the night, how can I get him to drop his night feed? Also he is an early riser how can I get him to sleep longer?
He has not slept through once yet.
He has been formula fed since 13 wks & has been on 2 solid meals a day for the last 4 wks (which he is loving), he has between 5 & 6 ozs sometimes less but defo no more than that & bottle feeds 6 times a day.
He has 2 naps during the day which can be anything from 1/2 hr to 2 hrs depending on how he feels & is usually shattered by 6pm. He goes to bed anything between 6pm & 7pm & then it's guess work from there usually up for feeds at 9pm, 12, 3am & then up for the day at 5am not wanting a feed until about 8am. In between the feeds during the night I have to get up a few times to put his dummy in as well.
We have just moved him into his own room 3 nights ago.
I don't pick him up to feed him during the night now & he feeds & goes straight back off to sleep.
I was due to go back to work today but thankfully have put it off for a couple of months, so I need to get his sleep sorted soon.
Any help appreciated.

smurfett · 02/01/2008 13:02

I forgot to mention about his weight, he puts on average 5ozs a week & is slightly below average weight.

smurfett · 02/01/2008 13:12

APOLOGIES for posting my thread on your chat, I blame lack of sleep & the fact that I am just geting used to using this site.

JodieG1 · 02/01/2008 13:16

I think that sometimes, some babies do need to feed at night still and it's not just habit. My ds2 is almost 12 months old now and still wakes 4-5 times a night but at those feeds he does take a full breastfeed, he wouldn't do that if he wasn't hungry.

The lack of sleep is a nightmare, espcially with dd nearly 6 and ds1 4 but it won't last forever (that's what I keep telling myself anyway!).

He wakes in the evenings for milk too every 2 hours or so and feed a lot during the day so I really think he does need it. He eats well too, we BLW and he likes his food.

They're all different and there's no way anyone can say that every single baby wakes at night through habit alone, I just don't believe it.

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