Four year old bedtime dramas! Help!

[k80pie]

Hi all,

My son who turns four next month keeps getting out of bed at bedtime and it is driving us UP THE WALL - we have tried so many things - returning him calmly to bed, promising rewards, threatening to take away an item for the night...but he just defies us and then sits in his room with all the lights on looking at books.

Full disclosure, we moved house two weeks ago, and he was really unsettled at first due to the move...he is slowly settling in now, as are we...but to be honest he was starting to do this weeks before the move too so I wonder if it is just an age-related stage?

The only thing that works at the moment is if we lie down with him, and keep reminding him to get back in bed until he finally falls asleep - but obviously this is not ideal. Anyone been through this and found a successful method?! (Keeping in mind our son is incredibly strong willed!)

If you left him to read books quietly how long would he last before he crashed out? So long as he isn't making noise or disturbing anyone else I'd be tempted to leave him to it. He will probably get bored after a while. Or negotiate and give him a little night light he can read by rather than the big light.
He's probably upset from the move, maybe a little scared of the new place in the dark and he finds his books comforting. If he's really tired from staying up could you do bedtime a little earlier so he's reading from earlier?

Thanks Keladrythesaviour. If we left him to it, he would stay up for absolutely ages, and then keep getting up, and get overtired and end up sleeping really late. He also insists on turning all the lights on, even though he has a little dimmable nightlight and a bedside light. But that is a good idea to just start bedtime earlier, to allow heaps of time for sitting up reading.

I know, I feel awful that he might be feeling scared - which is why we've been lying with him. He used to be so good at going to sleep, we didn't see all of this coming - we've been so exhausted from the move and desperately wanted downtime at the end of the day after unpacking all day. But of course settling him has to be the biggest priority. I hope we don't have to lie with him for too long :/