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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

Insane bedtime routine with newborn?!

50 replies

showersandflowers · 25/01/2022 07:13

It takes us literally 4 hours to get our newborn to sleep at night. In the day she'll doze quite happily, but when we go up to bed at 8pm she wants to feed at least 300ml (she's 2 weeks old) she's wide awake and yesterday we literally went through a whole pack of wet nappies before she finally dozed off at midnight. She seems to get hyper alert and needy at night and will easily stay up 4 hours to feed/pee/poop/ wiggle around. We've tried everything: low light, no stimulation, white noise, wind down time, swaddling, as well as all the basic things and she still goes mental as soon as we go up to bed. Any suggestions?? I'm surviving off about 3 hours sleep a night at the moment because of it!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Skyeheather · 25/01/2022 07:20

Two weeks old is too early to establish a bedtime routine - at that age I used to keep baby with me, either wear them in a sling so I could get on with things or if we were watching TV either DP or myself would hold baby (lights off, volume down low, no films involving loud gunfire etc!). I started on a bedtime routine at six months.

Why do you go to bed so early?

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 25/01/2022 07:21

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, OP. Two weeks old is too young to expect any kind of routine, unfortunately. Can you sleep more during the day, or take turns at nights to give you each a break?

FloatyBoaty · 25/01/2022 07:24

Very normal - it’s why they say “sleep when the baby sleeps”. They don’t know the difference between day and night. Also agree with PP- absolutely useless trying to establish any kind of bedtime routine at 2 weeks.

JohannSebastianBach · 25/01/2022 07:24

She's too young. I don't think they even know day from night at two weeks.
Just keep her with you and put her to bed when you go ideally after 10/11pm feed.

JuneOsborne · 25/01/2022 07:25

2 weeks old? We kept the baby downstairs with us, fed them all they wanted, winded them, changed them. If they dropped off they'd go in the Moses basket next to me while we watched TV or whatever and then when we went to bed carried the basket upstairs if the baby was still asleep. At 2 weeks, there's zero chance of a bedtime. You also have to stay upstairs if you do a bedtime thing up there. (Well the guidance says that and I followed it!). It's too early for a routine as such.

If you need sleep, I'd go to bed when you want, leaving DH to do all that stuff and hopefully by the first night-time wake up you've had a decent chick of sleep. Your partner then gets to sleep through that night-time wake up and also gets a decent chunk of sleep.

Congratulations, btw!

snowone · 25/01/2022 07:26

Unfortunately that's new borns for you.
Generally their body clocks are all wrong and they don't know the difference between day and night. I'm a big routine person and think it's essential for babies but it was about 8 / 10 weeks when we finally managed to establish a bedtime routine with both of ours.

I suggest that one of you stays up with baby whilst the other goes to sleep and that you swap over about 12/1 so that the other can get some sleep too xx

MsChatterbox · 25/01/2022 07:28

I get it OP I was the same with my first!! I went to bed with him every night at 7pm trying to establish a routine and fighting the nighttime grizzle. My second I just kept her with me it hasn't harmed her she goes to sleep at a normal time now and is also a lot better out of the two at falling asleep anywhere!

Thelastbattle · 25/01/2022 07:29

Congratulations on your baby.
2 weeks is way too young to be worrying about bedtime/nighttime. The baby doesn't have any sort of awareness of night/day at this stage.
We were quite "routine" oriented parents but we didn't even think of starting till about 8 weeks - and even then we worked out what dc1 routine was like and just tried to tweak it to make it more comfortable for us.
Have a read about the fourth trimester - I think it really helps manage expectations of newborns.

milkysmum · 25/01/2022 07:31

Oh bless, routine? 2 week old? Not a chance! Just sleep when baby sleeps for now I'm afraid. I just kept baby downstairs with me at night and would carry Moses basket upstairs later. It will get easier- but for now you just have to ride it out I'm afraid.

RamblinBoy · 25/01/2022 07:32

You can't force her to sleep earlier. We have a 15 week old and we have stayed up with her until she wants to sleep (about 11pm most nights) and gradually brought it forward but that takes months and they need to be much older. At 2 weeks she hardly knows she's not still inside your tummy!

Is there a reason you can't stay up until 11pm and then just stay in bed as late as she wants to be in bed in the morning? You shouldn't be getting up until 9/10 the next day if you possibly can.

This is my 3rd baby so I was up at 6 to get the others to school... It is exhausting but I would then try to rest while they were at school during the day.

It's a bit of survival at the moment but the very best and easiest way to get through the baby period is to listen to what your baby wants and try your best to follow it. Any changes to that should be gently introduced over time.

fighoney · 25/01/2022 07:36

300ml is a lot for a 2 week old to take in one go and it could be making her tummy hurt. Sometimes their feeding cues can look similar to their tiredness cues - will she take a dummy?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 25/01/2022 07:40

They cluster feed around this time when very new. It's typical. Just have somewhere in the living room she can lay safely near you (when she isn't lay on you) and feed/change as needed while watching the or reading etc

Then all go to he'd together around 11pk when she usually "settles"

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/01/2022 07:42

There is no bedtime routine at 2wks old- lots of feeding, dozing off and feeding again.

Yuckypretty · 25/01/2022 07:42

Until 6 months they should be in a Moses basket or similar in the same room as you. Bedtime routine is for after that when they can sleep in a separate room to you and you leave them upstairs with a monitor.

Liervik · 25/01/2022 07:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

PurBal · 25/01/2022 07:52

Congratulations on your new baby! Sounds like you’re doing a great job. I agree with PP that it’s too early to expect a routine to stick. And cluster feeding is real. We started at 8 weeks with some familiar patterns (change, song, feed, bed) but it only got firmly established at about 5 months (when we moved the feed to the beginning). I think these early weeks (to about 12 weeks) are doing anything you can to get through. Nurse to sleep, cosleep (safely), rock. Sometimes it’ll work and sometimes it won’t. We moved DS into his own room at 4 weeks and I slept in his room until 12 weeks. Do what’s right for you.

Bakewelltart987 · 25/01/2022 07:52

Am more interested in what your doing with the wet wipes to use a full packet a night. Babies will get in a routine once a bit older 2 weeks is not old enough for a sort if routine.

Perpop · 25/01/2022 07:52

You’re torturing yourself trying to get a routine with a newborn. Skin to skin, cuddles, snacks within reach, naps, rest & family to support with the rest of the house/kids.

Forfamily123 · 25/01/2022 07:55

Make bedtime later. 8 o clock is prime cluster feeding feeding time and even if you’re not breastfeeding she is just doing when her body is telling her to do and being ‘fussy’ in order to feed lots to stimulate breast milk supply.

Remember SIDS guidelines in the UK are that babies need to sleep in an room with an adult until at least 6 months, in the USA it’s until at least 12 months.

Lazypuppy · 25/01/2022 07:55

You dont need to change the nappy every time they wee, nappies can hold more liquid than that! And agree with PP, 2 weeks is way too little, just keep them with you until you go to bed,or if you want to sleep early, leave with you dp/dh downstairs

GromblesofGrimbledon · 25/01/2022 08:33

Congrats on you're wee baby. She's brand new, you need to just roll with it as it's going to be like this for a while.

Nappies can hold 12 hours of liquid. Don't change her nappy so often, you've enough to contend with at that age with the constant dirty nappy changes! I don't touch my baby's nappy at all at night unless he were to have done a poo, but that has t happened since the newborn stage. He's 4 months and his nappy is unchanged for roughly 12 hours every night.

Original poster

showersandflowers · 25/01/2022 11:32

Ah, well I'm at least glad to hear this is normal... we go to bed at 8 as I unfortunately have to get up at 6 so we figure this gives us a decent chance of some sleep (yeah right :p). Looking forward to when she's old enough for a routine and I guess I have to try and enjoy the chaos for now!

OP posts:

WheelieBinPrincess · 25/01/2022 11:54

That’s a nuts amount of nappy changes! They’re designed to last a few hours for wee. I’m staggered a baby so little can get through 300ml in one go. My four month old can do max 200ml for one feed.

roarfeckingroarr · 25/01/2022 11:55

Three hours sleep with a tiny newborn is entirely normal!

You can't expect a two week old baby to have an evening routine.

It's rare something on MN shocks me but this has.

WheelieBinPrincess · 25/01/2022 11:57

Whatever you think is her ‘routine’ this week will be turned on it’s head next week, and the week after that…

You really, for your own sanity, need to roll with it.

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