4 year old taking hours to fall asleep

[Sundayrain]

I have a 9 week old baby who will only sleep when held and a 4yo DS who doesn't fall asleep until 9/10pm, it's the 4yo I'm actually more concerned with! This has been going on for about a year, we have a good bedtime routine, dinner at 6pm ish then bath, stories or listening to audiobook, then bed 7.30ish, but he's up for hours every night and never goes to sleep before 9pm. We have to get him up at 7am for school and he struggles to get up every morning and has big bags under his eyes. But once he's dressed and fed it's like he then has endless energy! He's not tired during the day but he can't be getting enough sleep?! We've tried different night lights, earlier bedtime, later bedtime, sleeping in his bed with him, being firm, being cuddly, warm drinks (he won't have anything milk based). He has a yoto audiobook player which helped for a while as he'd listen to stories and fall asleep, but it didn't last and now seems to just energise him more. I don't know what to do and would really welcome any ideas at all!!!

Didn't want to read and run. Just saying I sympathise with you. My 3 year old is exactly the same. Tonight she fell asleep after 11pm.

She goes to a child minder 30 minutes drive away so when she gets in the car she wants to sleep but that would be before dinner and bath so we try to keep her awake. Then she gets in has a burst of energy and won't sleep unless pinned down with a tight cuddles.

Really lost with what to do

Same with my 3 year old. Never fallen asleep without cuddled to sleep, and takes a minimum of an hour. He also tends to wake up and come into us at about 1am every night, which I'm OK with, but at least once a week will then be up until almost morning. He's full of energy the next day aswell. I'm convinced he's broken. No solutions, just sympathy!

Thank you both, it's so tough!

I could of wrote this. I had an appointment with peds and mentioned this about my son. He had sleep apnea and had tonsils and adenoids removed so I assumed sleep would get better. Same routine as you, full belly at 6, bath and then bed at 7-7.30. He's four. He stays up till about 9/10! Wakes up during the night, I can hear him playing with his toys 🙄 I go in, tell him to get back into bed. He does, and then he's awake again about 5/6! Endless energy, they think he may have asd, not just because of the sleep there's multiple signs, but before sending forms off there getting in touch with a sleep therapist for him first to rule out any sleeping problems. Didn't want to read and run just want you to know your not alone, it's so frustrating because I know he needs the sleep!

Ask the school to refer you to the school nurse for sleep advice.

Alternatively, if you Google your LA and 'school nurse' you should be able to self refer.

We've recently adjusted the bedtime routine after realising the bath makes DD3 more giddy than relaxed! So we now do bath straight after tea, then downstairs for chill time eg quiet games or abit of tv and supper before bed, and bed times have been loads better! X

When you say up for hours, what do you mean- what happens after 7.30pm?

Thanks all, I will try doing the bath earlier, that's one thing we haven't really tried. I'll ask about school nurse, @mummytoboyss I didn't realise there was such a thing as a sleep therapist!

@OnlyFoolsnMothers he's awake for hours, usually in his bed but shouting out that he's bored, talking about superheroes, wanting stories etc. He never falls asleep before about 9.30 and think his record is midnight!

Neither did I untill Friday, said they will be in touch soon, so if it helps once get some sort of help with his sleeping " asssuminh they Wil try different things" I'll comment on this post with whatever helps him

Like your four year old, mine didn't go to sleep until late. We got used to it and ignored the grandparents' 'tuts'. He is none the worse for it.

My dd has not gone down for the night before 9 pm since newborn stage. We can put her to bed at whenever time but she does not fall asleep before 9. However she is fine and not tired with her 9pm to 7am sleep (used to nap during day until about 3, no nap led to evenings being ruined by crankiness and no earlier bedtime) so we just accepted it.

I honestly wouldn't worry about it. Some people just need less sleep. I think as long as he's in bed with books or toys and he's resting it's fine. I was like this as a child and this is what GP told my mum. I've managed to get by on very little sleep all my life.