Controlled crying - am I doing it right?

[Missmibaby]

My son has been relatively easy to put to bed. We've a fairly strict routine; stories, bath, milk and bed. He's slept through until 6/7 and had regular naps during the day. He's been the happiest of boys too.

Just recently he has started to getreally upset when he goes to bed and so we've introduced controlled crying. Same routine, then a cuddle and into his cot - he sleeps in a gro-bag and always happily gets into it. Starts to settle and then I leave the room and he screams. This then gets quieter but doesn't stop altogether, so I go back in 5 mins later and the same thing happens. Should I be going back in or if it is getting quieter then maybe I should leave him - can't really bear to think of him dropping off to sleep feeling unhappy. Sorry if this sounds irational and all over the place, but would appreciate some advice.

I had this problem at first with controlled crying, i went in every 5mins, but then started going in 5/10/15 min etc, within about 30mins they generally are asleep, be sure not to turn the lights on or talk to him, i made that mistake and my little boy thought it was play time.
goodluck

I did the same routine at mummyem with dd, she is now a really good sleeper. She usually has a short whinge when I put her down (3 or 4 mins) then falls asleep.

Occasionally though, she will scream for about 10 mins before she falls asleep. This ends in one of 2 ways, either she suddenly stops and falls asleep mid-wail, or she slowly quietens down. I've found that if I go in while she's quietening down she's usually starting to drop off and I wake her up again by going in and we're back to square one.

Try leaving him for a bit, see if he falls asleep. I discussed cc with my hv before trying it, she said don't be afraid of crying, it doesn't mean you're harming your baby. Babies also live in the moment, once he's asleep he'll forget what he was upset about!

If I were you, if he's getting quieter I'd just leave him till he drops off because like you say, going in just rouses him again.

You won't be doing him any harm at all so don't worry. I'd only go in if it was clear he was really distressed and in need of a cuddle.

Once he's whinged for bit for a few nights, you might find he stops bothering and will go off to sleep without a sound.

I'd leave him if he's getting quieter, I really would. My son went through a phase of crying before he went to sleep. It was just a phase and he is such a sunny, happy little boy. If he's just having a little cry of five mins or so then leave him. Sleep is good for him! How old is he btw?

I had this problem too. Going back in actually seems to make it worse for her, so I only go back if she works herself into a real state.

Sometimes though, when she is in a state, I just get her out and sit on our bed in the dark watching telly cuddling her for half an hour. She calms right down and then when I put her down she turns over and goes to sleep with no crying. Probably breaks all the rules, and if it was every night I wouldn't do it, but it works for us.

I didn't like the thought of her crying herself to sleep either - but she is always as pleased to see me in the mornings as ever.

my take on it is: 5 minutes, back in, cuddle (I think frowned on by cc experts), no talking or eye contact though, put back, leave for 7 mins, back in, cuddle again, leave for 5 mins, if getting quieter, leave for 10 mins, back in, no cuddle if seems to be settling a bit and then leave again, usually goes to sleep this time.

From what I remember of the Ferber rules, if the baby is settling down when it's time to go in, you don't go in. I generally only go in for howling and shrieking, not for whinging and grumbling.

I generally do eye contact and talking and cuddling, but no picking up. I'll hug or snuggle the baby while he stays in the cot. I'm pretty sure that's the Ferber thing, but our book's been loaned out ...

I have just started trying this again when DS is fighting sleep. I put him in his cot and can tell by the weak cry that he is tired.I leave the room but am upstairs in the vicinity.

If he stops for a few seconds then star again I can be sure I'm on the right track with him.
Usually have three or four stops and then that's is.
He wakes up pleased to see me all the same.
I void any eye contact and make myself invisible because I fear I would confuse him otherwise and make difficult and lenghten the process to what I want to achieve.

How old is your little boy MMB? I only ask because I had a 'perfect sleeper' who suddenly started to get upset when he was just over 2yrs. We never knew what caused it but think it may have been nightmares, as apparently they tend to start at around that age. He screamed hysterically and also worked out how to climb out of the cot and chuck himself over stairgates so we couldn't do controlled crying!! However I would agree with everyone else that if your son seems to be calming down on his own then don't go back in - don't worry about him feeling unhappy, he could by then just be grizzling as a way of getting to sleep.

We ended up having to do the 'disappearing chair routine' - will explain if you want me to!

These periods always pass with no ill effect on the child, so don't worry!

I would agree with the others that if he is settling down then don't go in. I find that with my DS (4 months and 1 wk) if I go in while he's calming down he starts again. He normally whinges for a few minutes before dropping off. Nothing major, it's almost like he just needs to let off some energy before sleeping.