My 9 month old is going to break me

[iloveyankeecandle]

So my nine month old is in a cot in my room. He has a dummy for bedtime. Anyway, he was sleeping great then beginning of December he started waking in the night. Very upset and popping the dummy back in just wasn't cutting it. So I used to get him out and cuddle him to sleep. This ended up with him coming into bed with me.
Which to be honest was fine. Now though he's having multiple wakings and is crying but cuddling and co sleeping is not really helping. The past few nights I've just laid him on the quilt and he's gone back to sleep?! Then after ten minutes or so I've transferred him back to his cot. So he's not being cuddled back to sleep but is falling back to sleep on the quilt. Which he seems to like. After an hour or so he's awake again and it starts all over again. He goes down for naps in the day and sleeps fine. He goes to bed in his cot fine on an evening with just his dummy.
I just don't know where to go from here. I do need to move him into his own room. But I'll just be in and out all night.

I would keep the room move on hold till you're in a better spell. No point in making things harder! Any signs of teething or nappy rash etc? Hungry? I'm sure you have thought or everything already and sometimes there is no cause but just a phase of wanting to be lifted/know you are there? Thing is babies work their way through phases (assuming no medical causes) but you need to find ways for you to survive the phase with your sanity intact! Are you able to get rested any other time, is there a partner or relative you could help so you get some unbroken sleep?
And just lower your idea of what you need to accomplish when you are awake until this passes.

The 8m sleep regression. That’s when I stopped breastfeeding and sleep trained. I had nothing left.

His own room might help on it’s own, especially if you don’t sprint in. I tried to read or fold washing so I was in the room and in sight but not fussing in the daytime - I think that helped but in the end had to do 2,4,6 min crying and shushing.

@Drunkpanda the only thing I notice when it is slightly better is when he has decent naps in the day. But it's not very often that it doesn't happen. Though it did yesterday. So maybe that's why last night was extra hard.
Hubby is great and will let me sleep when I need to, but this just doesn't seem to be getting any better.
If I could co sleep and he'd be fine then I'd do that but he doesn't really seem to like it.

Once your baby is very mobile then having them lying on the quilt or whatever is a nightmare as they crawl or toddle off the bed and hurt themselves.
I would be sleep training right now with the baby in his own bedroom and a really consistent method of settling.

@ChakaFridaMendips I'm going to have to do something. It's frustrating that he can settle
Himself during the day and on an evening but not through the night. I did wonder whether we were waking him up and that's causing a problem which is why o thought about moving him into his own room.

@LapinR0se I never leave him on there without watching him. He settles off and then I transfer him to the cot

Yes so he is falling asleep somewhere and waking up somewhere else. That’s part of the reason he is crying. He needs to fall asleep in the same place consistently

On the dummy, you need to get him replacing his own and then throw loads in the cot (I’d recommend about 10) so when he does stir, he can find one and replace himself. And give him a minute or two before rushing to help him so he had chance to do it himself. That might be easier in his own room. I’d also stop laying him on your bed to get back to sleep then transferring him- the transferring will be doing more harm than good because he’s going to realise as he comes into light sleep and he will most likely wake again. It’s also up to you but I’d strongly consider sleep training.

@LapinR0se that makes sense.

@LakeShoreD I'm going to move him into his own room. He can put his dummy back in, I just need him to do it for himself in the night.
It's just easier to go straight to him when he's next to me.

8-10 month sleep regression. I'd ride it out by doing whatever necessary and then move into his own room so you disturb each other less. We didn't really sleep train but I would wait when DD woke to see what happened - if she wasn't upset I'd leave her to it (even a bit of an angry cry I'd wait) but would go in when she was upset and hold her. She had other tough phases but would always get better again.

@KatieKat88 the only thing is because he's in with us it wakes my husband and he needs his sleep for work. But I do try and leave him initially to see what he does.

Is he cold? The fact he’s falling back asleep on the quilt suggests to me he might be. Coupled with the 8-10 sleep regression - I remember it being rough, but it does pass!

@Vicky1989x he's in right tog sleep bag and long sleeved vest. His hands are always quite warm. I just wondered whether it was because it was soft?
He doesn't seem to like to co sleep but happy for a quick cuddle but just won't settle in the cot

@iloveyankeecandle Is he in just a long sleeve vest and sleeping bag? I put my DD in a short sleeve vest, sleepsuit or pjs and a 2.5 tog sleeping bag in the winter.

Good point about being cold, mine have always needed extra layer compared to what the gro bag charts say.

[quote iloveyankeecandle]@KatieKat88 the only thing is because he's in with us it wakes my husband and he needs his sleep for work. But I do try and leave him initially to see what he does. [/quote]
Could DH sleep elsewhere for a bit? Or move DS into his own room now? We had a chair in DD's room so I could sit with her and would hold her to sleep and then put her down about 10 minutes later so she was in a deeper sleep.

@Vicky1989x he's in a long sleeved vest and 2.5tog grow bag.

@KatieKat88 to be honest That's what I'm thinking of doing. Just bite the bullet snd do it. This started about seven weeks ago. Surely a regression would have ended by now?!

I remember that one being particularly brutal for us! It will pass at some point, I recommend chocolate and late night shopping until then...

@KatieKat88 chocolate will help!! I just thought we'd be passed this by now.

@iloveyankeecandle I’d try a short sleeve vest, sleepsuit and 2.5 sleeping bag and see if that helps.

I sleep trained both mine at this age using controlled crying.

I'd move him into his own room and do that. It took about 3-4 nights and they slept through.

Last night was better. But I still think I need to move him into his own room.

I can really relate to this, sounds like our story, started 6-7 weeks ago, December too! Only difference was minus the quilt bit- got to the point my baby would only sleep in my arms in the end and as soon as put down would wake/ at least wake within half hour. Also always wanted milk which in hindsight I think was comfort/ sleep association. Also our baby was in his own cot/ room

At breaking point, unable to take the frequent waking/ battles to sleep, in need of sleep myself, we started sleep training 4 nights ago. First night surprisingly ok, second/ third horrendous and wondered if I was doing the right thing but fourth (last night) he slept 4 hours before a feed in bed (1130) and then slept 7 hours! Doing 5 minute intervals and shushing/ patting bum. We have a camera monitor and this morning I could see throughout the night he had stirred but self settled. I’m hoping I don’t curse it for tonight by speaking too soon but fingers crossed right direction! For us I think own room, consistent routine and consistent method to settle is helping. Sending you good luck