CC stopped working! Help...

[theworldhasgoneinsane]

After a year of awful sleep and trying many different approaches we did controlled crying with our DD when she was 13 months, it worked the first night and no further problems until recently. She became ill with a virus and was when she was unwell she slept fine. But since she's been well again she has started waking at 4am and not going back off, controlled crying doesn't work! Our day starts at 4 and she is a terrible napper.

So I thought 'ok this is a phase, we'll ride it out"

Now she's just woken at 9 just 90 minutes after going to bed with no problems and won't go back off, controlled crying isn't working!

Has anyone experienced this? She goes off fine at bedtime but then wakes upset and won't settle again. Any advice please?

Need to get her naps in order.
What's her current nap schedule?

Well a few weeks ago she would have either 2 short naps in her cot (30-45mins) or 1 short nap in her cot and doze off in the car/pushchair throughout the day. Since she's been poorly she has refused to nap in her cot and just been napping in pushchair or car. Even at times when she's been sleeping well at night she has never napped consistently in the day, we've just never managed to get her to nap well

Are you sure this isn't teething, CC works but not if she's in pain or uncomfortable.

Teething will disrupt the best sleeper and your about bang on time for molars. Sleep begets sleep so it might be worth investigating if it's that abs tackling it ashtons teething power or calpol ?

I would also say you have a sleep regression around this age (similar to 4 month one) and it's hell ! You have my sympathies.

Yes@candlelightsatdawn It could be teething, we gave her some teething gel and pain relief last night just in case but they don't seem to be bothering her during the day? She normally goes off her food if she's teething but her appetite is good. I wonder if it's a combination of teething plus testing the boundaries again with a regression and perhaps we need to be firm. She'd be back in our bed if she had it her way!

Thanks for your replies

Has anyone found controlled crying to work really well then struggled later on?
She barely even upset with it before it worked so quickly. She was 13 months when we used it before and now 15 months. Thank you

@theworldhasgoneinsane I'm not gonna lie it didn't work for us at this regression or the 18month one because the regression is linked to them finding independence (usually start of crawling) so need the reassurance to get over the hump. I found when we started going in and providing some reassurance (shhhhing back ect) it got better for us.

But every baby is different and I remember the hell that it is so please just be gentle with yourself. Every babies different but that was our experience at any rate !

Yes with molars we didn't have DD go off food so much as just really ransid poos, i also started soft play and actively encouraging crawling in day helped a lot too.

Sending sleepy vibes your way !

Thank you @candlelightsatdawn she is on the verge of walking so may also have something to do with that. She was up loads last night, we tried everything but she kept waking. Hoping she's got the message that night time is for sleeping, we're trying to be consistent.

CC has worked in the past so going to keep going with it but I don't let her cry for long before going in and reassuring her etc

Thanks for your support, it's hell!

@theworldhasgoneinsane I know you probably think omg this will never end but I absolutely promise you it will.

Bloody sleep regressions are a nightmare but if it helps mine went back to sleeping really well just all of a sudden !!

I actually couldn't sleep because I was waiting for her to wake. You just have this one and the next one and your done. Sleep regression wise !!

In the meantime give yourself a break, there's a reason why sleep deprivation is used as torture !

When you say it wasn't working, what were you actually doing? If you let her get up at 4 am that isn't doing controlled crying, it's getting up very early which is completely different! Just wondering if you are being a bit inconsistent... Perhaps commit to 3 nights of 7 pm till 6 am of cc? As long as 100% certain there's no teething, illness etc. Imminent walking could definitely throw things off as well

@SnackSizeRaisin

I suppose there's times when we haven't been consistent, because of illness, teething etc and I can never be sure she isn't teething as with her it isn't obvious! And there's only so long LG I can do CC as we have other children.

She had a few nights of better sleep and now we seem to be back to 4am starts again with no obvious cause. Thank you for your advice

@candlelightsatdawn thank you for your suppose you're right it does feel like torture!

And I feel like I'm making it worse trying to get her to go back to sleep when she wakes at 4, then giving in but after half an hour or so I lose the will! So a bit confused as to how early I consider too early. I know for her a normal night sleep is from around 7.45-6/7 and anything less than that isn't enough.
Also made worse because her daytime sleep is rubbish

Sounds similar to us. I’m absolutely broken and tbh am starting to regret having him. I must have gone horribly wrong somewhere.

@Secondnightblue you haven't gone wrong, we do the best we can. Although there's been times I've thought I'm doing a rubbish job because I can't get her to sleep consistently. But it's hard and there's other factors to consider such as other children/illness/teething. Try to be kind to yourself you're doing the best you can

I think any poster going through this needs to give yourself a massive break 💐

Part of what I personally felt was the most disheartening part is DD used to sleep well until 7am and then I was like why 3am why why you used to be good. I was so hung up on what was acceptable, that actually even if she woke at 3am at least she wasn't doing the 45min wake up cry all night long. Once I relaxed a bit on what she should be doing I at least didn't have the shame, frustration of her not doing what I expected.

It's so bloody hard but honestly it will end. It will !!! I found also my DD if didn't nap in the day was hellish at night (isn't that ironic as she was tired and sleep begets sleep)

May your coffee be stronger than your child's will not to sleep. !!

Yes @candlelightsatdawn I think you're right, because I know she can do it I feel even worse when she wakes stupidity early! She used to wake constantly when she was breastfed, feeding all night so compared to that she's much better.

I need to sort her naps out, she just won't nap in her cot and I end up taking her out in pushchair or car multiple times a day like she's a newborn! But I am working on that this week.

I agree people need to give themselves a break. When you're sleep deprived my brain doesn't work properly and think it makes me harder on myself

@theworldhasgoneinsane honestly when you have work pushed on top of a child that refuses to sleep, it's enough to drive most people to the edge. Of course it does !

Because of the age will baby sleep on you during day (could be separation anxiety ?) You know this is when I say throw out the rule book and do what you need to survive and bugger anyone else. They can take the non sleeping baby and their judgement and stick it where the sun does not shine.

Can anyone take her for a night to give you some respite ?! Anyone ? I say this because mums are so hard on themselves and never ask for help until we break. It shouldn't get to that, ask for help (even if the guilt feels like it will swallow you up, trust me when I say any mum knows the feeling and guilt and shouldn't judge). Even one night good sleep can get you through 14nights of bad.

Fun story my DD took to only sleeping or napping on top of the washing machine or near it. I buggering don't know why. I felt like a mad women as she had previously settled in her cot no problem, however do whatever you have to do to just survive one day more.

One day she just went back to normal and I then didn't sleep for a week because I was so used to the crying all night. Then i cried the night it happened. My poor DH at the time was like ok so she's no longer crying but now you are because she's not crying 😵‍💫 I can laugh now but at the time I promise you I was ugly dammed crying for 0 reason. Lol 😂

We did contact napping for a year, she napped on me, slept with me at night and was constantly attached to me and I feel like if I go back to that then there will be no getting out of it again! We've finally got her in her own bed which she's done so well with.

There's no one who can really have her, she's never slept anywhere else. Thing is, she actually has the odd good night but then for some reason that all goes pear shaped again for no apparent reason. It's the daytime napping aswell, I can't get anything done because she won't nap in her bed and have older children, I'm not able to get any time which is frustrating.

Thank you so much for your support, it's helpful to just know others have been there!