Baby class falls at nap time?

[Cafeaulait27]

My baby is 3 months old and has started sleeping through the night (mostly) and has started to get into a loose routine of eat, play, nap and has 3 naps per day.

I went to a baby class today which fell around the time he would usually nap but I thought he would be ok, I’ve been on a waiting list for this class and I figured he should go as it’s not on at any other time.

But he cried throughout, I think it was sensory overload. There was a lot of people squeezed into the room and the music was really loud, often with lots of sensory things happening at the same time eg loud music, sparkly blanket being shaken and bubbles. He cried quite a bit and only seemed to enjoy the part at the end where the lights were dimmed and he could watch some lights on the ceiling.

After the class he was due a feed and was screaming before and a bit during, and then was really difficult to get down for his afternoon nap as he was so overtired.

Should I just give up on this class and try to find something at a different time/a bit more quiet and less sensory overload?

I can’t really fit his lunchtime nap in beforehand because of feeds, and he needs a feed straight after. He pretty much wants a feed every 3 hours and I like to try to keep them on time because he’s not getting any at night now. Feeds can take a bit of time as he has reflux so we hold him upright for 20-30 mins after.

I feel like a failure but I just don’t see how I can do this class without upsetting him.

Am I scarring him for life if I don’t take him to a baby class? I get that he needs to learn all these noises and be around other babies, but it does seem like a bit much and skipping a nap just doesn’t seem to work for him?

I cried in the class today because I was embarrassed that he was crying and also felt awful that my baby was upset 😭

If neither of you enjoyed the class then don't go! Your baby won't remember. Do what works for you. If my baby napped predictably I'd work around that!
But, you may find his sleep patterns change a lot over the next few months so you might be able to try again.

A three month old baby does not need to attend classes, and you're not failing him in any way at all if you don't take him. Honest. :)

Don’t go! He’s three months, watching you wash up is plenty of sensory excitement atm.

Baby classes are far better when they’re older and can actually enjoy it. Use this time to sit down or nap when he does

It's the wrong class for you. At this age look for things like walk and talks or bumps and babies or parent and baby coffee mornings. Have a look at your local NCT branch on Facebook.

I loved bumps because baby could sleep through it if they wanted and I had a chat and a cuppa.

Can you just delay going again for a short while? Baby nap times change as time goes on so it may not work out just now but may be possible in a few weeks?
If the class doesn’t run on a fixed term commitment or has a huge waiting list of course. Baby classes should be a lovely relaxed time for mum and baby so no point in forcing it just now.

Do not do the class. Let the baby nap. Honestly it's the best choice. I made ds1 wake up for all sorts of classes, miss naps, stop his lunchtime sleep for swimming etc....he was always a bad napper and I think I made everything worse.

Ds3 was allowed to sleep when he wanted for as long as he wanted and he slept loads.

Classes at this age are for you not baby....find another way to interact with mums with young babies if that's what you want to do.

If your 3 month old is sleeping through the night then don’t change ANYTHING!! Stick to nap times when he wants them, it’s clearly working.

The class is purely for you to socialise and a baby that young is getting naff all out of it. If the time doesn’t suit then stop going and find a class at a better time, literally any baby activity will do since the point is for you to meet other mums!

Aww please don’t feel like a failure!! You’re doing amazingly well especially with a 3 month old sleeping through the night and taking regular naps with no issues, that’s pretty fab in my book! I wouldn’t worry about ditching the class. I took my first to all sorts of classes and he cried and fussed though many of them so I know what it feels like to feel conscious that your baby is crying and the others seem so settled. He really didn’t get anything much out of the classes at that age, it was more beneficial for me to get out of the house and meet other mums. Maybe you could find another class or parent/toddler group to go along to at a time that suits you both better?

I don't take my babies to classes! Well that's a lie I took my oldest to rhythm and rhyme and all the babies there sat on their mums laps like potatoes, probably wondering why tf they were watching a middle aged woman singing the wheels on the bus and having their little arms arranged into the actions a walk outside is the absolute perfect stimulation for baby with the added benefit of fresh air that will help them sleep and daylight which is good for their eyes. If you want more then try one of those mums and tots groups in church halls, it doesn't matter if you have to skip some weeks because your baby is tired then.

I used to enable my kids to sleep at home when napping

It worked for me as I could rest (watch TV) as I had no family support this was only time I had to myself

Do what works for you and your baby

Baby classes are generally for the adult, until they are older and it doesn’t conflict with a nap please don’t put yourself through the stress of it! The leaders normally say it’s fine if baby sleeps through, they absorb blah blah but that just means they get paid!

I started taking DD to baby classes at 3months and she hated it. She enjoyed it much more from 4.5months ish onwards. In hindsight, it was just too much at 3months i think. I kept going as i liked the routine for me and ended up just cuddling her throughout 🥴 until she got more onboard. But to be honest, we probably only went to half the classes i paid for due to illness, or some weeks just being too exhausted. So like others have said, if you want the company then keep going. If not, there's no harm in not going.

Thank you so much guys, I’ve been crying all afternoon!!

I actually found the class was too much for ME let alone the baby! It was so loud and OTT, and went on for an hour! I agree with you that doing simple things round the house are stimulating at this age. There’s so much pressure…

He loves watching me and my husband and chatting, and playing with his sensory toys at home. The only time he smiled in the class was when he was looking at me and cooing.

I go to a mum and baby fitness class too and he seems much happier in that. He sleeps in the pram and then when he wakes up I hold him while he do the exercises and he can see all the babies and mums and is fascinated.

I think I do need to wait a while, or find a quieter class.

Thank you everyone, you have no idea how much better I feel now!! ❤️❤️❤️

A lot of parenting is trial and error. Not everything will be the right fit. Hopefully you will find a group that does work for you when the time is right. I wish I had trusted myself more when I had my first DC, and spent less time trying to fit in to places that we didn't fit and more time finding the places we felt really comfortable.

So true. He’s overtired and didn’t nap this afternoon as a result and hasn’t had much at his feeds since the class. We did have some lovely moments on the sofa and at bath time though where he was smiling and ‘chatting’ to us ❤️ I regret going to the class so much! It’s not even social as the music is so loud and it’s so long that everyone dashes home after!