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DD aged 3.5 will not sleep on her own - help!

8 replies

busymamaof2 · 10/01/2022 10:24

My daughter has become terrible at sleeping on her own. She will go down in our bed (for practicalities, my DS 18 months old goes down at the same time in the cot, they share a room) so we give her a story in our bedroom so it doesn't disturb him.

Once she's asleep we carry her to her own bed. She will, without fail, every night walk into our room, it used to be around 4am but it's become earlier and earlier, now around 11pm. She'll either come to our bed and sleep between us all night, which means we have bad sleep, or I'll guide her back to her bedroom. She won't let me leave immediately when I do that (the fuss is unbearable) so I lie with her and walk back to my own bed once she's back to sleep. She always then wakes shortly afterwards and shouts me and we go through the process again. Last night we repeated this rigmarole 7 times.

I am pregnant- due in June- so for obvious reasons this has to stop, but I'm also bloody knackered!

I've tried a reward chart (not interested), bribery with a new toy or sweets (no joy). She tells me she will sleep in her own bed when she's 4, or "later". She's a wise one and nothing seems to be working.

Any advice?!

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 10/01/2022 10:29

It didn’t work for us but have you tried setting up a bed for her on the floor that she’s allowed free access to? Pile up some cushions or get an inflatable for a bit of a mattress. Explain that you need room in bed as you’re getting bigger.

Tbh I suspect that your new baby may convince her of the benefits of staying in her own bed when they arrive! Grin

JudgeRindersMinder · 10/01/2022 10:32

I was watching old Supernanny videos on YouTube and the leading her back to bed every time seems to work. You’ll probably get a couple of nights of hell then it works out.

Is part of the issue that she’s going to bed in your bed and waking up somewhere different?
You might have to just accept a few bad nights with the youngest and start her off in her own bed

Glitterygreen · 10/01/2022 10:35

My immediate thought would be that the first step might be that she needs to get used to at least going to sleep in her own bed rather than yours. Her bed won't feel like 'hers' if she isn't even going to sleep in it and then every time she wakes up she comes straight through to you.

Appreciate she is in the same room as her little brother but could you stagger bedtimes so he is already asleep by the time she goes through? Or take them through together and do a story for the both in the one room at the same time?

MarshaBradyo · 10/01/2022 10:37

It’s hard as you don’t want to wake other dc but the first hurdle would be getting her to go to sleep in her bed

00100001 · 10/01/2022 10:40

You just need to decide when to do the change...and do it.

Keep putting her in her bed, it might take 2-3 nights, she might resist, but just do it.

Short term pain, long term gain

isurvived3under2 · 10/01/2022 10:56

She needs to learn to go to sleep in her own bed. It's hard work but it will mean no night more migrating!

isurvived3under2 · 10/01/2022 10:57

*no more night migrating, sorry.

eddiemairswife · 10/01/2022 11:08

Does she know you are pregnant? Were you away for the birth of your second baby? My eldest came into our bed during the nights while I was expecting my 3rd(who I had at home). The last time he did it was the night after she was born. It was if he needed to reassure himself that I was still there and hadn't gone away with the new baby.

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