3 year old and 4 month old waking in unison

Lottiebugz22 · 2022-01-10T04:35:38+00:00

I'm so sleep deprived. My 3 year old wakes multiple times a night and my 4 month old wakes losing the stupid dummy constantly I wish I never introduced it. I'm just so sick of having no sleep. It's making me so depressed now. They are due to share a bedroom when baby is older. I don't really know what this is for apart from to vent as nothing works.

workingtheusername · 10/01/2022 05:05

Bless you they are two difficult ages at same time. Do you have a oh? Or family/friends who can help. My ds was a terrible sleeper I would sleep 7pm-12am while my oh dealt with him then he would go bed and I would do the night shift. I found it easier having had a decent bloc of sleep although it sucked not getting an evening. We also got a lay in each on a weekend which helped. There's 27 m between my two it's hard because you don't get a break when one's asleep often the other is up.

SecondhandTable · 10/01/2022 05:14

Solidarity OP. I have a 3.5yo and a 3m old. Luckily they are both generally decent-ish sleepers for their respective ages. However they baby is up at least twice a night for feeds + a couple more brief dummy wakes and eldest is often up briefly once or twice a night. They both had colds the other week and were both waking 5-10 times a night for about 4 nights which was G R I M. Do you have a partner who can share the load? In our house DH does almost all eldest's wakings as they're less frequent and usually brief and I'm breastfeeding the baby so then if he wakes I'm still there to tend to him. He also does 3 bottles a week in the night for the baby. I breastfeed baby the other feeds but if he won't settle or if he wakes within less than 2hrs of a feed then DH sorts him then too (which usually now just means sticking his dummy in). Obviously I tend to my eldest if she wakes when DH is busy with baby.

The dummy wakes are annoying but I think it pays off in the long run tbh, my eldest was a generally decent sleeper and I credit the dummy with that. We've only taken it off her over Xmas and granted her sleep isn't amazing anymore but that started about 6 months ago so not dummy related. I'm definitely going to persevere with DS with the dummy..I've bought him two sleepytot bunnies already for when he's older, DD had them too so she could easily sort them herself as soon as poss.

Original poster

Lottiebugz22 · 10/01/2022 07:53

I do but he's not much of a help. It takes allot of effort to get him to actually wake up. Not fair I know! So I just tend to get on with it. The baby is a great sleeper, it's the dummy that keeps dropping out which is the problem but I'm not sure how to stop it incase it stops her sleep all together. My 3 year was good up until she turned 2 and her sleep took a huge nosedive. It's just so exhausting.

OP posts:

WarmForDecember · 10/01/2022 08:00

Mine do this. They tag team, one wakes settles, then the other, and repeat. They are DC2 and 3, and it was exactly the same with DC1 and 2 a few years ago. Somehow I didn't remember this before having DC3...

The baby is quite a good sleeper but with the 3yo waking too it's tiring.

Solidarity

Heepers · 10/01/2022 08:31

Solidarity. My DC1 is 2 and DC2 is 5 months. They tag team some nights and it is so, so exhausting. We've just retrained the 2 year old and it has improved the situation a bit - we just can't be lying on the floor shushing her for 3 hours in the night 😖

workingtheusername · 10/01/2022 08:54

@Lottiebugz22

I do but he's not much of a help. It takes allot of effort to get him to actually wake up. Not fair I know! So I just tend to get on with it. The baby is a great sleeper, it's the dummy that keeps dropping out which is the problem but I'm not sure how to stop it incase it stops her sleep all together. My 3 year was good up until she turned 2 and her sleep took a huge nosedive. It's just so exhausting.

Maybe try asking him to stay up and you go bed earlier so u can get a few hours. My oh was also rubbish at waking. He didn't believe me about how often ds waked until I left him to it for a night!

OutOfRoutine · 10/01/2022 12:11

I was going to start my own thread about this today! 3.5y old and 4 months old here. Also both good sleepers generally and yet I still find it tough.

My toddler practically never woke at night until DC2 was born so I guess it's to do with that and it feels like some sort of cruel joke! I can deal with the baby waking a lot better somehow.

Last night baby slept through till 4.30am which would have given me the most amazing block of sleep since they were born, but no, toddler decided to wake at 3am and not go back to sleep until 5am.

The fact baby was peacefully asleep kind of made it worse, I felt sort of resentful.

I have mild anxiety and sleep is a major trigger so once the whole house was asleep again I just lay there awake and anxious...

DH usually deals with toddler wakings as a rule but because there are now so many and he works full time I'm wondering if it should now be my job too so I'm scared I'll have to do it all soon. He's never dealt with baby wake ups though as I exclusively BF so he has had plenty of full nights in a separate room in the last 4 months, when I have had none. So not really sure what's fair.

When they both wake in the night it makes me want to scream and run away. Then they'll have a good night and I feel on top of the world again. Urgh, good luck OP, know you're not alone!

Amichelle84 · 10/01/2022 12:17

Feel for you!

If it were me I'd get rid of the dummy all together, might be tough short term but might pay off in the long term - worth a try.

Original poster

Lottiebugz22 · 10/01/2022 16:51

I think I'll scrap the dummy fed up of it. It's just making her wake constantly. Even naps now.

OP posts:

SecondhandTable · 10/01/2022 17:47

Thing is, they might not sleep any better without a dummy. Even in the long term. It's up to you obviously but anecdotally all the kids I know who have been decent sleepers as older babies and toddlers all had dummies. I think it's worth persevering personally because the rewards are great in the longer term whereas getting rid may mean they can't settle themselves at all when they're older anyway without the dummy as a tool.

OutOfRoutine · 11/01/2022 13:02

How was your night OP? Awful here, tantruming toddler 1 to 3am, then unsettled baby til 5am (got woken up by toddler.. )

It's that time of day where I can barely keep my eyes open..

Original poster

Lottiebugz22 · 18/01/2022 17:52

@OutOfRoutine

How was your night OP? Awful here, tantruming toddler 1 to 3am, then unsettled baby til 5am (got woken up by toddler.. )

It's that time of day where I can barely keep my eyes open..

Bless you. Turns out my Toddler was poorly in the end and baby has since been fine when the dummy falls out so God knows. It was awful though. Hope you are okay.

OP posts:

OutOfRoutine · 18/01/2022 19:38

Ah I'm glad to hear that! Turns out my toddler was poorly too in the end. Baby has settled and even slept through a couple of times in the last couple of weeks. I feel like things are much more manageable in general. Until the next time they both go crazy again, but when they do I'll try to remember it will pass!

Original poster

Lottiebugz22 · 28/01/2022 08:47

@OutOfRoutine

Ah I'm glad to hear that! Turns out my toddler was poorly too in the end. Baby has settled and even slept through a couple of times in the last couple of weeks. I feel like things are much more manageable in general. Until the next time they both go crazy again, but when they do I'll try to remember it will pass!

Spoke too soon baby is waking at 11pm And 3am now for a bottle!! 😱😱😂

OP posts: