My 3.5 month year old won’t sleep for longer than 40 mins

[Mumonthedge]

My 3 month old won’t sleep longer than 40 mins and hasn’t don’t for over a month. At 6 weeks old she was doing 6 hour stints but that’s a distant thing of the past.

She has just been diagnosed with silent reflux as she also screams her head off like the world is coming to an end. She’s been on the meds for 3 days and it’s helping with the screaming but the sleep ain’t budging.

I put her in the next to me cot each night and resettle her in there at least 3 times before I break and bring her into bed with me (obviously as safely as possible). At least when she is in bed with me I can drowsily give her the boob and fall back to sleep. I have to go to bed at 7:30 with her as obviously I need the sleep so I have no life.

She doesn’t nap either so I have no break in the day.

I am at an absolute loss and I have no idea what to do next. My husband and I are arguing everyday because we are both exhausted. I need some sleep! Any help would be greatly appreciated!

I have no advice I'm afraid.
From birth, DD would fall asleep on boob while I was downstairs - this meant she was never asleep on her own as per guidance but I also didn't need to go to bed ridiculously early. When we hit 3/4 months ish, she stopped sleeping in her next to me for the same reasons you're describing - we carried on with the same falling asleep routing and then bed shared (following safe sleep principles).
At 7.5 months, DD now sleeps in her room and wakes 3 or 4 times a night.

My ds was similar it was awful! I went to bed at 7pm and my husband stayed up till 12, (he was working I was on mat leave) so I got 5 hours straight plus anything grabbed in night. I also napped in day. The things that help us came later I'm afraid- dropping night feeds, getting rid of dummy. Your lo is a bit young for that. If you can put dc down awake to go to sleep they tend to sleep better as are less started when waking plus they then learn to fall back to sleep. My ds had silent reflux, gaviscon and rinitidine (sp?) helped. I also cut dairy bout of my diet (he was bf) as I'd read it could aggravate reflux. He definitely slept better once meds/diet were sorted.

I listened to a podcast a few months ago (think it was called parenting hell 😂) and comedian Russel Kane was on talking about how he sleep trained his ds by limiting naps in day so she would sleep better at night. He basically looked at how much sleep a baby needs and worked out how much she should have at night (allowing for waking for feeds) and then would wake her in day to train her to be more awake in day than night. Not sure how easy it is to implement but he definitely made it sound easy! Good luck.

It’s good to know that we aren’t alone. I’ve never been good with little sleep and being woken up every 40 mins is my idea of living hell.

My husband says it’s normal and everyone’s baby does this. Is that true? Am I just wildly unprepared for being a Mum?

That is a napping bit is a bit of an exaggeration, she will sleep in the car but as soon as the car stops she screams. She also will fall asleep feeding but I can’t move at all and she will wake up within half an hour, mostly 5-10 minutes and maybe twice a day.

Unfortunately it's pretty normal tbh. Plenty if not most babies are like this. They're is a sleep regression at 4 months that I think actually starts more like 3.5 months for many. You can look it up. Might be worth looking at 'wonder weeks' which shows how babies brains develop and when you might be in for a rocky ride. Your little one is too young for any real sleep training. But you could look at whether you can start to put any good habits in place like a bedtime routine, and try to put them down 'drowsy but awake' if the opportunity presents itself. Although with my first, when people said that to me I would have happily punched them in the face. Really you're still in the stage of do whatever you need to do to help you get through it.

Also the 4 month sleep regression kicks in at around this age. Both mine went from being great sleepers to crap sleepers at around this age. Have you tried white noise. LOUD white noise, louder than you think. Remember though everything is a phase and it will get better.

Thanks everyone. I’m glad it’s not just me. I think in baby groups people like to tell you their baby is an amazing sleeper but no one likes to admit that they are struggling too.

I just hope the meds help and that this will pass soon enough and she’s back to 6 hours (oh I will never complain about being tired again if that happens)

Sympathies OP, I also had a silent reflux baby who only slept for 39 minutes at a time (yes, I counted)... it does eventually get better. Dc was weaned early at 3 months on advice on the paediatrician and this helped with sleep, from this point still no naps in day but basically slept thru the night. Just make your life as easy as you can for now

Once DC was eating 3 small meals 6/7months, this should have read ⬆️

@TicTacHoh I’m with you with the timing. I can predict when she’ll be up again within a 5 minute window most times. My husband thinks I’m mad but is very impressed when I can predict it so well

Mine did! 40 mins is really tough. I think silent reflux doesn't help.