How do I get my 3 year old to stop sleeping like a newborn?

[sidesplittinglol]

Honestly my 3 year old can not put herself to sleep without me despite many attempts to train her. She wakes up so many times in the night and won't settle unless I'm with her. Most nights I end up falling asleep in her bed with her which isn't ideal as I am also expecting.

I've no idea why she keeps waking up in the night. I've had her sleep with me in my bed but it's the same thing. She will sleep for a small stretch of time but will wake up again.

It honestly feels like she sleeps like a newborn.

Sorry You can probably tell I'm just fed up of it and exhausted with the wake ups in the night. I doubt I will get any kind of sleep when baby arrives and have my 3 year old to also contend with.

As not to drip feed she doesn't settle with her dad and will cry and tantrum until I'm with her.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get her to sleep through the night please? Or if you're in a similar position, please assure me I'm not alone in this?

When she wakes is she upset or no?

Sometimes yes sometimes no. She's woken up now because she wants her teddy. The teddy that she's got in her arms

I can’t offer any advice but I just wanted to say you’re not alone. Although I’m not pregnant so although I can empathise with the sleep dodging 3 year old I haven’t got that pregnancy fatigue on top of the sleep deprivation fatigue.

I honestly feel like my 3 year old has aged me 20 years and taken 10 years off my life expectancy! There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

What happens when you go to her? Be honest!.
Are you chatting? Giving cuddles? Faffing with her bedding?

I was expecting when my eldest was 3.5. We decided to tackle the sleeping issues before the new baby came. It was actually easier than I expected.

The main thing I used was a chart I made with 7 circles on it. Each morning he stayed in his bed, he got a circle with a character on that that would Velcro onto each circle on the chart. When completed, he had a prize from the box. He was so excited to get his little character circle each morning and when it was all filled up, he could choose a prize.

Because he was 3.5, I could reason with him and explain the reward system and it really worked very well. I will definitely do the same again.

The rooms dark with a small night light so you can still see and not pitch black. When I go to her she cries a bit sometimes but other times she just wants me to lie down with her until she falls asleep. More often than not, I end up falling asleep in her bed until I realise and get up. We don't play or anything.

Honestly it’s a habit- to break a habit is harsh and will probably involve tears, depends how much you want to change things. Go in when she wakes “sssh” her and walk out- limited communication

I agree it is a habit and in order to break it you may need to endure a couple of difficult nights. I would also say that DH will have to step up and go into her, she may not like it but that will be short lived. The reality is when the new baby comes you will really struggle so worth trying to deal with it now. You have my sympathy.

I would talk about it in the day time - about how babies wake up in the night but bigger girls and boys sleep through, or go back to sleep if it's still night time. If she wakes up, I would just tell her to "It's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep" (unless, of course, she was ill or had another genuine reason for awakening you).

DH tried last night but she wasn't having it. I was so tired I just gave in and went in with her.

Some good suggestions on here that I will try. I just need to have patience I guess and persevere

There’s some useful tips on this link. I think however you decide to do it, agree with your DH a plan - the main thing is that you be consistent, so if you know you are too tired to be consistent, then ask him to take the lead on it. If you abandon the plan then she just gets mixed messages and will be unsettled, kids thrive on predictability. When I gently sleep trained a younger child, it seemed clear to me that young children look to us to teach them about bedtime behaviour. So basically I had been teaching mine, when you can’t sleep, what you need is full body contact with an adult. Then I started teaching her what you need is darkness, cosy in your bed and teddy, and to lie down and close your eyes. They do learn pretty quickly. A 3 year old will likely resist the change more, but think of how she has been taught something different for years, to help you be patient as she adjusts.

www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/sleep/issues/how-to-sleep-train-toddlers-and-big-kids/

@sidesplittinglol

DH tried last night but she wasn't having it. I was so tired I just gave in and went in with her.

Some good suggestions on here that I will try. I just need to have patience I guess and persevere

Definitely persevere... and stay strong! When we did this with ds, he was really clingy to me, but we had to sort it out because we had a new baby on the way! It is definitely a case of cracking the habit.

Total sympathy. My 4 year old sleeps like a dream. My 3 year old can wake up several times in a night and we have a 6 month old. For a while the baby was sleeping far better than the 3 year old.

I have one good sleeper and one not great sleeper. So I do know that it is a lot of luck. Things that sometimes help us:

We have a gro clock and explain that he must stay in his bed til its yellow. If he wakes up and its blue then close his eyes and back to sleep.

We've tried reasoning... mummy and daddy are so so tired and need a rest. Please let us sleep all night.

Blackmail (seems to be my key parenting strategy)... if you stay in bed all night with no shouting then you'll get x in the morning.

Good luck!

If she can't fall asleep without you at bedtime then she won't fall back to sleep in the night without you.

Time for some sleep training.