Conflicted about where my 9mo should sleep in our bed or own room.

[Culldawg]

Currently my 9mo sleeps the first part of the night in his crib which is side car’d onto our bed. But he will wake up and realise he’s not in our and cry and crawl into our bed to try find us. Then when we go to bed and after what feels like 10 wake ups he ends up in our bed. He’s so happy there, he sleeps better but feeds a lot in the night and my husband can’t stay in bed with us as there is just no room so we don’t get much sleep.

I’m so torn between just buying a bigger bed for us all and co sleeping as it’s obviously where baby is happiest, or putting the sides back on his cot and transitioning him into his own room in the hope that he eventually sleeps better as he wakes every hour or two now.

I’m so worried he’s going to get upset and think I’ve abandoned him if I do the latter. I’ve posted before about this and people have said their babies slept better in their own room as they were light sleepers and woke with snoring ect. But mine isn’t necessarily a light sleeper, he’s just a bad sleeper.

I just wondered if anyone had any tips or experience with this? TIA.

It’s so personal, no one can tell you what to do. You need to do what you’re comfortable with. If you want to all get better sleep then transitioning him is probably the answer. But it is hard work to begin with, with lots of rocking, patting etc, so you would need to be prepared for more work initially. If you’re happy co sleeping and frequent wakings then there’s no reason to move him

We ended up buying a super king size bed at that stage I loved the closeness, especially when I went back to work I cherished having DS close to me at night at least. He started to sleep longer stretches over time. I do think my husband would have preferred we had moved him and sleep trained instead though

Totally up to you what is best for your family. Personally, what was easiest for us was DH sleeping in the spare room for this stage. DTwins decided they liked their cots at around a year - at 14momths they crawl.in for a feeed, then unlatch and crawl back into cots and collapse to sleep. That means there's now room for DH (but he still soemtimes prefers the spare room as it's quieter!)

The me you guys!!! As much as I love him in my bed, the constant feeding in the night isn’t ideal so I’m trying him in his cot with the side back on and then Sunday will try him in his own room. If that doesn’t work I’ll buy a bigger bed

We just bought a SK bed and co-slept. It’s not for everyone but we all get a great night’s sleep and I absolutely love getting into bed at the end of the day and we’re all together and safe and happy. It’s a lovely feeling. Don’t get me wrong, DH and I do look forward to having our own space back in the future (probably a long way off yet as next DC is due next week!) but right now this works for all of us and everyone is happy.

My 18 month old starts the night in her own room then comes into our bed when she wakes up. She wakes hourly by herself but sleeps through in our bed. (she didn't used to sleep through BTW just has as she's got older). I would prefer for her to be in her room all night like her brother but I like my sleep.

I've got a super king bed and cosleep with my 10 month old and 3 year old. The 3 year old starts the night in her own bed 50% of the time but always wakes up in mine (rarely wakes me sneaking in though). Works for us and as a single mum of 3 I literally couldn't do the up down up down thing. Helps having no man taking up space in the bed too!