Wakeful newborn - is this normal?!

[Howtotameyourtoddler]

My baby son is 3.5 weeks old. My daughter was a bloody horrible sleeper and I like to think I've consumed every nugget of baby sleep advice ever published, but this little boy has got me stumped.

He just... won't sleep. Not between about 8am and midnight anyway. Not on me. Not in the pram. Not in the sling. Not with a dummy. Not while nursing. Not in the car. Not swaddled, or with white noise, or while rocked. Any one of these things might get him to sleep for about 10-20 minutes before he wakes himself up, and then the whole sorry cycle begins again. I have a three year old to look after as well, so this is unsustainable. I'm going insane.

He's clearly, obviously overtired. What the heck am I supposed to do? Is this normal??

Have you got a comfy sling you could wear indoors? Atleast you could get on with your day and hope he falls asleep in it x

@Bigdreamer9 I do have a wrap-type sling (as well as a carrier), and it saved my sanity with my first, but this one just fusses and screams in it. If I went for a brisk walk he would fall asleep eventually but wake up again the second I got home.

Hopeful daytime bump. Any ideas?

To be honest yes I think that's absolutely normal at 3.5 weeks. He is still so he's. You say he won't sleep between 10-12, will he sleep after 12?

It's not everyone's cup of tea but I bedshare with baby number 2. It's worked brilliantly and means I have the energy for our toddler in the day. You don't say how you are feeding but if you are bf, can you feed laying down so you can nod off too?

I had this with my youngest at just a few weeks old, my other two didn't get into a routine for months and months but this little one I realised needed to go to bed early so I started putting to sleep for 6:30ish before I did bath time with my other children. It was exactly what my youngest needed and slept happily then till I did a dream feed. I never expected a newborn to want a bedtime like an older baby but they did. So recommend you try and get the baby down first and then do the toddler routine.

@sparklesandfluff that's so interesting - I'm starting to think the same is true for DS. I think I've underestimated how noisy our house is with our daughter running around, and I'm wondering if he's just overstimulated. I took him upstairs to bed (dark and silent) at 8.30 last night - he settled immediately but kept waking himself up (a sign of his overtiredness?) and he didn't fall asleep properly until just after midnight. I'll try putting him to bed at the same time as the toddler tonight - 6.30/7 - and see if that works!

@dottydally mercifully, he sleeps really well after midnight - wakes around 2/3 for a feed and then through until 5.30/6. A massive improvement on my first baby! I have a side-sleeper cot so I can at least do the half-awake feeds. I'm feeling relatively well rested, but trying to ensure he gets enough daytime sleep while also managing my very demanding older child is totally overwhelming.

Is he waking himself up with sudden arm or leg movements? If so a swaddle suit may help- I remember this being a game changer with my first - lovetodream.co.uk/

@FrangipanFlower he seems to hate being swaddled but yes, he often does jerk awake. Maybe I should be a bit more persistent?!

Mine have both been like this, so I did the same as @sparklesandfluff - proper bedtime from around 6 weeks for DD1 (when we figured out she was overtired) and then within a week for DD2.

You have my sympathy for day naps. It’s ok when it’s your first and you can walk them for hours and hours but a whole different ball game with the second. Neither of mine liked slings either unless walked briskly for at least half an hour, so we use buggy, covered with Snoozeshade and seriously loud white noise. Took DD2 a couple of weeks, but she soon associated it with a nap and will now at 5mo do three or four half hour naps a day in it. Much less disruptive with an older one around, means you don’t have to drag them out and the white noise masks their thundering feet. Parking them next to the tumble dryer also works IME!