Contact sleeping clothing recommendations

rer1986 · 2022-01-05T16:40:17+00:00

My 8 week old starts off in his cot and wears a baby grow and a 1 tog sleep bag. The room is usually around 21 degrees. We then contact sleep usually half way through the night when I've given up resettling him and I'm so tired. He seems really hot and restless when he's on me, obviously my body heat is making him too hot. Just wondering what your babies wore in bed both in the cot and if you contact slept?

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Omicrone · 05/01/2022 16:42

What is 'contact sleeping? Is it basically co-sleeping?

Isn't it a bit dangerous to have a baby sleep on you if you are sleeping too?

Hyppogriff · 05/01/2022 16:42

Just an urge to say please do try to stop doing this if you can. Mother of 2 here so I get it re the tiredness but it’s just not safe and there are so many sad stories every year with parents with the best intentions. Sorry I don’t want to be a downer to your post.

CheshireCats · 05/01/2022 16:46

He sleeps on you?? Bloody hell, don't do it!

winniebago17 · 05/01/2022 16:46

Following. I have a 9 week old who co-sleeps with us from time to time - by this I mean he sleeps flat on the mattress next to me and I end up sleeping on my side so uncomfortably but it works

I'm curious to know what your arrangements are re: contact sleeping? Is baby physically on you?

ancientgran · 05/01/2022 16:50

@Hyppogriff

Just an urge to say please do try to stop doing this if you can. Mother of 2 here so I get it re the tiredness but it’s just not safe and there are so many sad stories every year with parents with the best intentions. Sorry I don’t want to be a downer to your post.

I thought co-sleeping was safe as long as you weren't drunk or on drugs? Although if the baby is on your chest then it is sleeping on it's front which isn't safe.

ancientgran · 05/01/2022 16:51

@winniebago17

Following. I have a 9 week old who co-sleeps with us from time to time - by this I mean he sleeps flat on the mattress next to me and I end up sleeping on my side so uncomfortably but it works

I'm curious to know what your arrangements are re: contact sleeping? Is baby physically on you?

That's how I co-slept with mine, did it for years as I have 4.

Starcaller · 05/01/2022 16:54

If you mean sleeping with him on your chest while you are also asleep, please do not do this. The positional asphyxia risks are extremely high. It is one of the worst things you can do with a sleeping baby if you aren't able to watch them constantly and make sure their head is in a proper position.

If you mean safe co-sleeping beside you while you feed or you have a hand touching him or something, that's different.

JanuaryPinks · 05/01/2022 16:55

Co sleeping is absolutely fine if you follow the lullaby trust guidelines, which it sounds like you are. I did it with both DC. With the winter born one (November) she had a lighter sleeping bag than I’d normally use at this time (I think a 1 tog) and I also had a sleeping bag thing (adult gro bag from slumber sack) so that I didn’t need a duvet. I also had no pillow. You are suppose to sleep in your side in a C shape around them with the baby at breast height.

JanuaryPinks · 05/01/2022 16:56

Oh apologies - when I said it sounds like you are following the lullaby trust guidelines I thought the quoted post by @winniebago17 was the OP.

The baby should be flat on their back on the mattress OP, not sleeping on you.

Starcaller · 05/01/2022 16:57

When we were still in hospital, DH was sitting holding DD in that kind of chest-sleeping position while we filled in some paperwork. Suddenly our midwife shouted and grabbed DD from his arms. She had gone grey and dusky, and it was because her head had lolled down and compromised her airway. She was fine, pinked back up again immediately, but it put the fear of god into both of us. It happened so quickly. If it had been in a situation where the person was alone and holding her while asleep, she would have died. It is honestly so so dangerous.

LimpLettice · 05/01/2022 17:56

OP you need to look at safe co sleeping guidelines. I'm still co sleeping with my 18m old but was very very conscious of the safe way to do it. Breastfeeding, on your side with your arm positioned so that you cannot roll over. Google Lullaby Trust positions. Baby flat on their back, on a tight fitting sheet and a firm mattress. Don't do it if you drink or smoke, take strong medication or if anyone in the room or home smokes, you are over tired or you exclusively bottle feed. Keep pillows and bedding below your waist and don't sleep with your hair down, in heavy or loose clothing, or anything which baby could squish against. No pets or other children, or partner next to baby. It is 100 times safer to sleep together in a prepared and safe fashion than cave and fall asleep due to overtiredness.

Mine slept in pyjamas and a low tog sleeping bag in the winter because they would creep close for warmth but be too cold without.

Original poster

rer1986 · 28/01/2022 10:28

Firstly thank you for taking time out to make a mother feel absolutely guilty about contact sleeping. If you look on the internet there are plenty of sleep professionals who discuss contact sleeping as a thing and how to do it safely. For Some mother's this is the option to get some sleep and survive day to day. So rather than passing judgment I suggest more supportive comments to help mothers in the future as it's a hard job and we're all trying our best! Ps I am also a mother of two and so I'm very aware of the potential risks but hey he still lives another day...

OP posts:

dancingintherain92 · 28/01/2022 13:45

My baby slept on my chest half way through the night from a few weeks old until about 10
Weeks old, at that point he just couldn't get comfy on my chest so he lay flat next to me, never had any issues with the chest sleeping, I just pooped myself up, you know best as his mother ❤️ I used to put him to bed in his pjs and sleep sack and then when he got in bed with me at night I'd take his sleep sack off so he just had his baby grow on xx

Traumdeuter · 28/01/2022 16:48

@rer1986

Firstly thank you for taking time out to make a mother feel absolutely guilty about contact sleeping. If you look on the internet there are plenty of sleep professionals who discuss contact sleeping as a thing and how to do it safely. For Some mother's this is the option to get some sleep and survive day to day. So rather than passing judgment I suggest more supportive comments to help mothers in the future as it's a hard job and we're all trying our best! Ps I am also a mother of two and so I'm very aware of the potential risks but hey he still lives another day...

It isn’t judgment OP, it’s a safety risk.

Slumbersloth · 09/10/2022 21:49

This post is old... but wanted to support you OP as some mumsnetters are very judgemental and unhelpful! Ofcourse ideally all babies should be sleeping on their backs, in a cot etc etc but unfortunately not all babies can do this. As a matter of fact a lot of babies will only sleep whilst held, and many mums will lie to other mums/ healthcare professionals about where baby sleeps, as they get shamed and are made to feel so guilty (such as what happened here, in response to your post). Co- sleeping can be done absolutely safely, and also there are some safety advice about chest sleeping as well. There are many instagram accounts educating / supporting women about this (i.e. cosleepy). I hope your situation has improved since posting this, but please know that in whatever difficulty you are experiencing there are thousands of mums going through the same thing as you, right at that moment ( I write as my baby sleeps on my chest, which has been the only way he has ever slept since birth!).