Sleep and routine tips

[anonymous12345667]

Hey mums,

My baby is 3 weeks old and hasn't been the best sleeper which I already prepared for, most newborns aren't but that's not their faults. Anyway, my fiancé goes back to work next week and we're currently taking it in turns to go and nap as the baby doesn't sleep for very long when he naps and he's quite a light sleeper. We want to try to get into a routine but we have no idea where to start or how to widen his wake windows or anything. Completely clueless. He just doesn't sleep much at all and he's pretty much wide awake during the night. I've tried everything from swaddling which he hates because he likes his arms free, I've tried putting him to sleep by rocking him but he wakes up immediately after I put him down, he absolutely hates his snuzpod next2me crib and he just cries constantly for us to pick him up aswell. I would be so grateful for tips and advice. Please be kind, I am a first time mum and I have truly no idea what I'm doing or where to start.

Congratulations! I don't think you can really affect your baby's sleep habits when he's so tiny, you just have to survive this bit and you might get a routine going from 4-5 months onwards.

It's normal (but frustrating!) that babies want to be held, you make him feel safe. If you can warm the cot surface with a hot water bottle (take it away before he goes on there!) It might help, or keep your hand pressed on his tummy for a while when you put him down, it feels like you're still against him so it's less of a sudden shock at being put down.

White noise might help too, in the womb there is gurgling and your heart beat etc, white noise reminds them of it and it's comforting. You can get it through an app on your phone.

Sleep deprivation is terrible, but you do adjust over time and it doesn't last forever. Getting out every day for fresh air and a walk helps. It also begins to help your baby differentiate day and night.

I don’t think trying to keep him awake will work. My little one is 6 weeks old and I can’t keep her awake when she is tired, at 3 weeks she would literally be awake for about 10 mins after each bottle. When you say he hates being swaddled does he fight it? That’s quite normal, we swaddle and then cuddle for a few mins, she still stirs when put down but I use white noise and a dummy and she soon settles. Sometimes I have to keep my hand on her chest and face for a few mins. I wouldn’t try for a routine this early but you could do nappy change, feed, winding and hold upright for 10/15 mins, swaddle, white noise and rock for a few mins. Maybe do this on every feed so she starts to recognise what is happening. Good luck

Hello! Just here to say hang in there, you’re doing amazing and this all does get easier, promise (I wouldn’t have believed 10 months ago I’d ever be able to get my baby to sleep in her cot but it happens!) how long are you leaving it before you put her down after you’ve rocked her to sleep? I found I was trying to put my baby down before she was deeply asleep enough when she was a newborn, someone told me to pick up her arm and see if it flops when you let go, if it does shes in a deep enough sleep to put her down. Took maybe 10 mins or more after she’d fallen asleep. I had no clue how much work it’d take to get her to sleep and stay asleep! I can’t remember how long it took to get her sleeping in the next to me crib but I remember we had to let her sleep in the pram for a while as the bassinet must have seemed more cosy and secure to her (it was one that was certified safe for overnight sleeping, not all are). Good luck! You’ve got this x

Also as a PP has said, persevere with the swaddle, I thought my baby hated it too but she grew to like it and eventually she’d be nearly falling asleep just being zipped up in it as she associated it with going to bed. The grobag ones are good as you can unpop the arm holes and have arms out when it’s time to unswaddle them, but they’re still zipped up cosy in something familiar to them

Read up on the fourth trimester. All human babies are born premature. They want all the things they had in the womb: fed on demand, rocked to sleep, held close, hearing your heartbeat and breathing.

They don’t want to be put down.

At this age there can’t really be a routine beyond meeting baby’s basic needs.

How're you feeding baby? are you breast or bottle feeding?

Other posters are right it's too early for routines to have much impact here and it's just a case of following your baby's needs atm (I know this is so so hard at this stage !)

Do you have any other help when your partner goes back to work?

I agree that waiting till my little one was in a v deep sleep before trying to put him down so Atleast 10 mins and his arm would drop when I lifted it up

I remember the feeling so well just feeling utterly clueless but promise it does usually start to get a little easier with time