Sleep Regression or Separation Anxiety? About to loose it and myself...

[TallulahTaboo]

I wrote a post on here back in September about how my then 7 month old wasn't sleeping at nights, up two, three times. With everyone's help, my husband and I implemented all the advice and combining that with nursery we were having 4/7 days a week full nights which was just bliss. Fast forward three weeks later to now and I'm writing this on 3 hours sleep. WTAF.

He's always been a fantastic napper and would always get himself off to sleep at all his naps and at night (despite waking up). We've always had the same routine for both and it's worked pretty well up until now. But the last week he is literally screaming bloody murder when we put him down for either a nap or bedtime. Prime example if bedtime last night..

6.30pm bath
7pm bottle, lullaby and white noise.
7.10pm standing up in cot screaming
7.30pm eventually settled but only in my arms. Put down at 7.40pm
9pm awake, standing in cot screaming. Resettled with dummy, comforter
9.30pm same again
10.30pm same again and until he eventually fell asleep in my arms at 12.24am. I then put him into his cot at 12.34am.
1.30am woke so resettled in cot by stroking head for 5 minutes
2.30am woke so resettled again
5am woke so tried new bottle (didn't take any) resettled in cot
5.38am woke again and husband got him up

He goes to bed/naps on a full tummy of milk with white noise, dummy and comforter and has always done this. No tv after 4pm but plays with toys until then. He is crawling and pulling himself up on furniture. He is teething, four main teeth at the top are coming through but they have cut.

It's beyond torture. I don't know what to do? Is this SA or another regression? I've never known a regression to affect the naps so badly. It's like every piece of hard work has come undone.

Please can anyone help or offer any advice? I've recently been diagnosed with PNA and I am finding this so tough. I have a very supportive husband who takes equal share through the nights but I know that will stop come this week when he returns to his job (he drives so requires his sleep) and I work from home so can take the load on. I know I am not but I feel like such a shit mum for feeling angry and frustrated but I literally cannot cope on three hours a night. Plus it doesn't help that none of my friends babies etc have been through this 🙄

Any help would be greatly appreciated and very much welcomed.

Has it just been one night? Maybe it won’t happen again? Babies are bizarre! Maybe he was sore, did you try capol? He wasn’t too hot or too cold? I feel your pain and hope you get more sleep tonight!

It's been a full week now. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 I hitch is making me wonder if it's something else?

Tried Calpol for his teeth, same outcome. Temperature is fine, normal. And his temperature is also fine as I checked.

He screams so uncontrollably that if he wasn't soothed by us cradling him, I swear you'd think he was in some sort of pain 🤷🏼‍♀️ the crying immediately stops once we hold him.

It does sound like he wants to sleep on you. You may just have to put up with it. My 10 year old until a few nights ago would only fall asleep in my bed, kicked only when DH wanted to go straight to bed, so he had to go in his own, now he can't sleep without the wall next to him.

Following, having similar issue with 6mo and slowly loosing the plot. I'm a shitty person if I don't sleep, the newborn phase I could deal with but to have months of unbroken sleep and now up every 2 or so hours a night feels very cruel 🤯

@abeanbaked I found the newborn stage easier because they were at least weakening for a reason, to feed. Whereas this just feels cruel. And I know they don't mean it but it's really soul destroying.

@TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons ...he's never really slept on me or even beside me in bed. It's lovely that he wants to be close but I selfishly want it to end. I don't want to start any habits when he was an actual dream going off to sleep, independently that is. 😢

The irony is I should probably sleep now whilst DH is up with him and not on here but I think I'm passed the sleep exhaustion stage. Like I can't physically sleep.

Following! Going through this exact same issue with my 10mo nearly 11mo DS. I spent 3hrs trying to settle him last night without picking him up. He falls asleep in my arms or in bed with us but will not self settle anymore. He just stands in the cot crying to be picked and rocked back off.

He was a perfect sleeper but I've had a week of this craziness!! Hoping we get some restful nights soon!

It could be teething, sleep regression or separation anxiety.

I'm sure our LO had a phase like this at 10months.

We use anbesol for teeth, it just rubs on the gums. More often than not if our LO is having a few days of bad sleep, we can be sure we will find a new tooth has popped through.

As awful as it is, just remember it is a phase and it will end (for a while until the next phase starts).

No advice really. Ds is 11 months and has been doing that for months. He has now got better and we can now lie him down and he will go back to sleep within 10 minutes, though we need to be in his room and we go back to our own bed when he's asleep. He's been teething and had bronchiolitis.

Sorry I can’t offer any advice but watching with interest as my 10 almost 11 month old is exactly the same. Used to sleep through most nights until 2 weeks ago, now is wide awake between 1-4.30am most nights and nothing is working to getting her back to sleep!

@CocoaN @Swest89 @abeanbaked in a kind way, it's nice to know others are going through hell too.

Last night was particularly hard and I'm back at work today. Don't think it helped that the dog got up at 5am for a pee either!

I've experienced every sleep regression I think you can get since 5 months and this is the worst one yet by far. And now I'm back at work it's probably going to hit differently too. 😰

Hope you all had a better night? 🙏🏻

@RaginaPhalange thanks for your comment. Hope your LO one is doing well after her bronchiolitis. We had too and it was horrendous to say the least!

@TallulahTaboo sorry to hear you had a rough night! I took LO out yesterday for lunch with my mum - I needed to get out of the house and thought I would give DP a break. Baby was grumpy but manageable, DP took him into the spare room last night and I got a full night, we'll swap tonight because I don't think this is getting better any time soon 🤦🏼‍♀️

He still sleeps in his next to me, I was going to start putting him into his own room in the new year but now his sleep is so rubbish I don't think it's a good time to take that step 🤯

Another rough night here too 😭 we ended up co sleeping again.

The only way he will sleep is co sleeping and I'm so worried about doing it as don't want him to get into bad habits. I'm back at work full time so just can't cope with no sleep at all.

I'm praying it's a phase and will get better, it's been 2 weeks now 😔

Honestly I would just co sleep through the phase because you need sleep.

What my DP And I do through these phases is take turns to sleep in the bed with DC and other one goes in spare room / downstairs.

There is nothing you can do to make him sleep in his cot when they are going through these regressions.

I’m currently co sleeping part of the night - DC will go down in bed but awake by 12 and won’t resettle so comes in with me.
It’s a phase - it will pass.

My older toddler rarely comes in my bed now, occasionally wakes and runs in but I give him a cuddle and put back to bed no problem. Co slept with him at various points in his life.

Two important things - it will pass. These phases always pass eventually.

You have to sleep so if that means you alternate the sofa whilst baby in your bed, do it. Don’t be a martyr to the idea that he should be in his cot, he’s a baby and babies do wtf they like