Why my 4 mo can't fall asleep at night

[Tiagao]

Alright. The title might be a bit misleading. Many of you may say "4 mo is still too young to fall asleep on their own."

I know. I have been sleep training DS. He does very well with the daytime naps, easily falling asleep with me sitting next to him. But he always cries his lung out for the nighttime sleeps.

I cannot understand this inconsistency. If he can fall asleep by himself during the day, why can't at night? Same bed, same room, same environment, same me next to the bed.

I could never get mine to nap in the day in their cot. Buggy, fine, car, fine, cuddled on someone, fine. But in the evenings they both were OK at going sleep in their cots.

So I have no advice, just anecdotal evidence that babies are contrary little baggages when it comes to sleeping.

How have you been sleep training lo? I'm not opposed to sleep training if the right method for the age is right.

It might be that lo is overtired at bedtime? And during the day is lo falling asleep in same place as night?

@Fancyties yeah. He's always sleeping in his crib in our bedroom. I was actually thinking maybe he was not tired enough. I don't know, he didn't seem very sleepy to me these days after his night time ritual. How do you tell if the baby is overtired?

A while ago, I had to hold him, walking or bouncing for him to fall asleep - until he became too heavy for me to do all these for 15-20 minutes. So I reduce the motion to holding him standing rocking and patting. If he cried for long enough, I retreated to the old way to soothe him until he was drowsy again. A bit like the principle of the Ferber method. Gradually I reduced the motion to sitting and patting, then putting him in bed awake and patting, and eventually putting him in bed awake and just sitting next to his bed.

It worked perfectly for the daytime naps. He falls asleep quickly on his own as long as I'm present in the room. But he's not taking any of these at night. He cries for 5', I pat. I stop, he cries. He cries for 10', I pat. I stop, he cries again. Took an hour for him to finally fell asleep. Maybe one hour is normal?

@RenegadeMrs I guess everything can be explained by "it's a baby, that's what babies do". I don't mind patting him to sleep even though it means every time he wakes up at night he needs me to pat him back to sleep. It really just puzzles me why he can sleep on his own during day but not at night 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sleep training is for 5 months plus. 4 months is also a bad age for stage development. I don't think all this letting him cry is helpful more sad. Wait jntil it's appropriate he is tiny.

That should say 6 sorry

Baby overtired is rubbing eyes while trying to get to sleep , grizzly, pulling hair that sort of thing.

OK so you are there comforting lo throughout? As control crying which is ferber method isn't recommended until 6 months and some people say 1 year old. Like I said I'm not opposed to sleep training and at 4 months I did something similar of popping lo in side crib hushing and patting and having hand on lo chest while tapping dummy and I never left my lo side and comforted throughout until asleep.

By memory, I think most naps ending 5 or 530 ish bedtime 7 or 730. I think awake time up to 2.5 hours.

Though you are potentially hitting 4 month sleep regression so may be that too.

I found 4 month the hardest. Yes every 2 hours you need to pat hush etc but if you get a side cart crib thing you can push it tight to your side of the bed so when lo wakes you can throw an arm over and pat etc

@Morechocmorechoc There's quite a lot of conflicting information about sleep training. All I know is I am doing it under the guidance of a professional trainer. And I'm happy to pat him to sleep if after the course he still cannot sleep on his own. It's already a great improvement from where we were a week ago.

@Fancyties We do 4:30 end of nap and 6:45-7 start of bedtime. That's roughly 2.5 hours.

I think definitely there's something bothering him in the evening that he wouldn't sleep easily. I just need to find out what is it. Maybe it's to do sleeping on the side? He can roll to his tummy but can't roll back. So I allow him to sleep on his side during the day (he always happily roll to his side when put in bed), but not at night as I can't supervise him. Maybe that bothers him??

I do use a next2me. It's so helpful. Quite often I don't even need to put my arm on him. He feels me or sees me when he wakes up, he can fall back to sleep in about five minutes.

Cant you let him fall asleep on his side at night then when he is in a deeper sleep about 20 mins later roll him onto his back?

Yes there is conflicting advise and I'm sure sleep Trainers are happy to take money at any age if you read about the method you are using though it isn't recommended yet as there are other things it can cause issues with later.